The Pope - My Fake Diary

Wednesday, 8 July 2015

Dear Diary-
With each passing day more and more people cancel their membership in this religion. For hundreds of years we did all we could to make them believe, from offering pie-in-the-sky incentives like an all expense paid vacation in heaven, to terrorizing them with extreme torture, death, and even (the hollow threat of) eternal damnation burning in the flames of hell.

I don't give a shit about those lost souls. All I care about is the lost funds I was able to milk out of them. The goddamn cheap bastards! Of course I can hardly blame them for leaving. I preached that poverty is a virtue, but they see the hypocrisy of such luxurious opulence on display at the Vatican. And I preached that they should follow the path of Jesus and do exactly what he did., but then they see him nailed to a cross being tortured to death.

So I can understand why there's a mass exodus. They would be fools not to go. In fact, it never ceases to amaze me that so many still believe in this farce. But come judgment day, they'll finally see the joke's on them. Meanwhile I'll be laughing all the way to the bank.


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