Susan Boyle - My Fake Diary

Wednesday, 6 January 2010

Well, America was a big pile of shite, Japan was worse, they were aw shouting for me though "SUMO!! SUMO!!"
Canny wait to get back hame to Blackburn, if that Simon Cowley will let me, fuckin slave driver, drive yi mental. He'll still be annoyed aboot getting beat to no1 by Florence and the Machine.

Wait the noo, therz somebody in ma back garden

"Haw, Gyppoes! FUCKOFF!!"

Anyway, it was right nice gettin a gold disc aff that Pierce Brosnan on ma Christmas show. Wonder if I'll get one for "Crazy Horses". That Mick Jagger...ooooh fuck aye, well yi wid, eh no?

Been asked tae go on that I'm A Celebrity, Aye get tae fuck, Ah might be daft, but ah'm no desperate. Mind you...if that Pierce Brosnan off the X-Factor was tae go on it, I might give it a wee go, wouldny mind letting him kiss me in the bush.

Right, that's me away for a jobbie, then ah'm gawn ti ma bed.

The lot o yiz

FUCK AAAAAAFFF!!!!


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