It's a wonderful life?

Caption competition image
By author at 00:00 1 Jan 2000

Show all entries as a list.

George Mary Zuzu
Now, gosh darn it, if I hear that one more time, I'm going on a killing spree!
Now, George, don't upset the children. You know how it affected them last time.
Every time a bell rings an angel gets his wings.
By Mark at 14:30 29 Nov 2010
Say, Mary, what do you want? Do you want a 52" 3D LED TV? I'll get you one, Mary
I'll take it.
Daddy, it was me who did the doo-doo in your best shoes. I'm sorry.
By Mark at 14:32 29 Nov 2010
*Nyrrrrrgh*'re...hurting me.
Every time a bell rings an angel gets his wings.
By Mark at 14:33 29 Nov 2010
I got drunk.
You had a nightmare
Every time you got hit, an angel got his wings.
By Bureau at 20:26 29 Nov 2010
We're in a classic
Sure, black & white
I just farted
By Bureau at 20:27 29 Nov 2010
I'll never wish I had never been born again
You would have changed everything
We might be in color.
By Bureau at 20:28 29 Nov 2010
Tiny Tim, why are you here?
He's in the wrong film.
Bless us all. Do you bless people who fart?
By Bureau at 20:29 29 Nov 2010
I'm glad to be alive.
Glad you survived George.
Maybe you didn't. Say 'Brains!' daddy.
By Bureau at 20:30 29 Nov 2010
Wonder where that angel went?
He was using the pump and then he flew away.
You mean he flew off the handle?
By Bureau at 20:31 29 Nov 2010
Now everything is great until the next movie.
Wonder who we will be?
I have that shitty Shirley Temple stand-in role
By Bureau at 20:33 29 Nov 2010
We really need to give something back to the poor this Christmas season.
Why? They've never given anything to us.
Daddy, mommy, I don't really look like a 'munchkin' do I ?
By Lady Godiva at 02:44 30 Nov 2010
Oh look! It's snowing outside. How lovely. We'll have a white Christmas.
Well hell's bells you better get the snow shovel ready because I'm not doing it
Aw mom. You are so bloody lazy. Pardon my French.
By Lady Godiva at 02:48 30 Nov 2010
Now, who the hell keeps changing the audio track on this DVD?
George, quiero tenerte aqu�, ahora mismo.
Chaque fois qu'une cloche sonne, un ange se ses ailes.
By Mark at 09:42 30 Nov 2010
I have an itch in an awkward place.
Oh my dear! Why don't you scratch it?
He has his hands full dummy!
By Lady Godiva at 12:11 30 Nov 2010
I'm worried about our 6ft tall daughter
Keep smiling and she might not hurt us
One move and this dagger go's in your back
By churchmouse at 12:28 30 Nov 2010
So that's the infamous Heidi Montag.
Yes it is.
Mommy, I smell plastic.
By Abel Rodriguez at 21:04 30 Nov 2010
Well it looks like Naomi Campbell is moving in
Dammit! There goes the friggin neighborhood
Mommy, what does friggin mean?
By Abel Rodriguez at 21:06 30 Nov 2010
I guess we'll hear all about your mom being patted down.
Behave honey. You know she's 102.
Mommy, why is grandma smiling and touching her pee-pee?
By Abel Rodriguez at 21:11 30 Nov 2010
Ya see. I told you Bristol would not win.
I still think that Bristol "The Pistol" Should have won.
But mommy...she sucks big time!
By Abel Rodriguez at 21:13 30 Nov 2010
Damn, those Kardashian sisters have big butts
Even bigger than Venus and Serena's
But that bitch J-Lo has them all beat!
By Abel Rodriguez at 21:16 30 Nov 2010
Donald Trump's hair looks absolutely stupid!
Abso-effen-lutely stupid!
Abso-double effen-lutely stupid!
By Abel Rodriguez at 21:19 30 Nov 2010
That Ann Coulter is sure one skinny ass woman!
The bitch looks like a straw with an Adam's apple!
Mommy, you said bitch.
By Abel Rodriguez at 21:21 30 Nov 2010
Angelina Jolie's lips are bigger than Mick Jaggers
And Steven Tyler's lips are bigger than Angelina Jolie's
Mommy, what's a home-wrecking whore?
By Abel Rodriguez at 21:24 30 Nov 2010
Sarah Palin thinks the North Koreans are nice
She really needs to lay off the Russian vodka
Granny says the skank ho needs to stay in Alaska
By Abel Rodriguez at 21:28 30 Nov 2010
Rev. Al Sharpton is sure one messed up colored dude
George, he's not colored he's black
Mommy, my teacher said black is a color
By Abel Rodriguez at 21:30 30 Nov 2010
Did Oprah just kiss Gayle on the mouth?
Yes, and Gayle touched Oprah's right knocker
Bad mommy. You said knocker
By Abel Rodriguez at 21:32 30 Nov 2010
Wow! Chaz Bono is sure one ugly looking guy
Did you forget what Chastity looked like. Bow Wow City.
Daddy have you and Mommy ever changed your sex?
By Abel Rodriguez at 21:36 30 Nov 2010
Look, it's LeAnn Rimes
Damn home wrecking, husband stealing slut
Daddy, Mommy's one upset bitch huh?
By Abel Rodriguez at 21:40 30 Nov 2010
Is that Sandra Bullock kissing another girl?
Yes George. You know she loves kissing females.
Just like Daddy does when you go visit grandma Mommy
By Abel Rodriguez at 21:43 30 Nov 2010
I think they would swap it for Zuzu's shit Twinkle
I say Darling, do you think they would swap that tinsel for little Zuzu?
By birbee at 21:43 30 Nov 2010
A Grass of Sgarsgarilla glease
A Gottle of Geer
What would you like to drink my Dears?
By Erskin Quint at 21:44 30 Nov 2010
OK Zuzu, you're not getting any Christmas Presents this year.
Oh, you are such a cad, George
Daddy, could I possibly be let down?
By birbee at 21:45 30 Nov 2010
Mary, do you think that Lady Gaga is a hermaphrodite?
Yes. There's just no way that crotch bulge is normal
Hey peeps. What the hell is a hermaphrodite?
By Abel Rodriguez at 21:49 30 Nov 2010
Wow! Kirstie Alley is one big old gal
Yes. I hear she weighs 409 pounds
And how about if she put all of her clothes back on?
By Abel Rodriguez at 21:51 30 Nov 2010
Do you think I need more sperm in my hair, Mary?? Just the front bit maybe???
George, there's something about your hair. It's not quite right.
Can I have a puppy?
By birbee at 21:52 30 Nov 2010
Come Now Mother, You Don't Want The Folks To See Your Bald Head.
George, We've Only Got The Top of Your Father's Head In The Picture.
Why Do I Have To Wear This Horsehair Wig?
By Erskin Quint at 22:41 30 Nov 2010
I tried But It Won't Let Go!
For God's Sake, Can't You Leave The Monkey In The House For Once?
Fuck Off You Pair Of Cunts. I Didn't Ask To Be Fucking Born.
By Erskin Quint at 22:47 30 Nov 2010
Please calm down, ladies. There will be another smoke break in five minutes.
They always say, "Never work with animals or children." Don't they? DON'T THEY??
SCREW YOU, FRANK! THIS IS MY GOOD SIDE!! -- I swear I'm gonna get a new agent...
By SpaceElevator at 23:26 30 Nov 2010
Right about now, little girl, there is an idiot being born into this world.
You mean George W. Bush, George?
When I'm a big girl I'll invent a time machine to come back and "terminate" him.
By SpaceElevator at 23:51 30 Nov 2010
Gosh! Isn't this just smashing. My dream. A lady on each arm.
Well, I don't wish to be cruel - but Zuzu is not a lady.
I will be ONE day though and you'll be DEAD. I'll be having lots of fun.
By Lady Godiva at 00:06 01 Dec 2010
One of these things is not like the other: ...I've got a one-eyed trouser snake.
...I've seen things you people wouldn't believe.
...I've never been to the State Fair.
By SpaceElevator at 03:26 01 Dec 2010
Should auld acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind? Should auld ac...
...quaintance be forgot and days of auld lang syne? For auld lang syne, my de...
...blah blee bloo watermelon cantaloupe cantaloupe watermelon bloo blee blah...
By SpaceElevator at 11:47 01 Dec 2010
Oh look Darling, we've gone all black and white
Ha Ha Ha, you are such a card
Jesus! To think that someone actually writes this crap
By churchmouse at 15:05 01 Dec 2010
Do you remember the night that Zuzu was conceived?
Remember it! I've still got the soiled bedsheets.
Too much information. Remember there's a kid in the room.
By churchmouse at 15:08 01 Dec 2010
You look beautiful. How about we get friendly tonight
How about you go and fuck yourself
You tell him Mom
By churchmouse at 15:15 01 Dec 2010
I'm gasping for a pint!
If I catch you chatting up that barmaid tart again, I'll have your knackers!
Mummy said a bad word!
By Ellis Ian Fields at 17:21 01 Dec 2010
Does Rover have to lick himself like that?
You try stopping him.
Can you do that daddy?
By Ellis Ian Fields at 17:25 01 Dec 2010
Has Uncle Billy been drinking?
Oh, I know - one sherry and he's three sheets to the wind!
Why is Uncle Billy trying to undress that lady? Is he a doctor?
By Ellis Ian Fields at 17:30 01 Dec 2010
Terrific rack, Donna!
Ooh, Jimmy - you're wicked!
Why was the director feeling your chests this morning, actor mommy?
By Ellis Ian Fields at 17:38 01 Dec 2010
"I do?"
Do you know, George that you look like Jonathan Ross?"
"... well I sound like him!"
By IN SEINE at 18:47 01 Dec 2010
"I thought that was the season of goodwill and love to all?"
"Watch where you're putting that hand, George"
"I bet he's feeling a right TIT!
By IN SEINE at 18:56 01 Dec 2010
Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?
Shouldn't you be unemployed?
Shouldn't you both shut the fuck up and feed me?
By masterchev at 19:22 01 Dec 2010
I don't think we'r in Kansas anymore.
That's the Wizard of Oz
Silly Daddy.
By Bureau at 22:29 01 Dec 2010
Call me Ishmael!
Moby Dick!
You said a bad word!
By Bureau at 22:30 01 Dec 2010
Maybe I shouldn't have saved my brother.
Just because of our affair?
That'sa nota fair!
By Bureau at 22:31 01 Dec 2010
Me Tarzen, you John.
Jane, Tarzan, Jane!
Wooho oho cheeeech!!
By Bureau at 22:32 01 Dec 2010
Leslie Nielson's dead too.
That Dingaling?
He just got his wings...for Airplane.
By Bureau at 22:34 01 Dec 2010
Would it be wrong to cripple it sweet heart?
Yes darling, look
Daddy look at the kitten
By Mr Spinks at 22:56 01 Dec 2010
Dearest Mary, can you scratch my balls coz my hands are full.?
No problem my dear. Where are they?
He doesn't have any. I checked.
By Lady Godiva at 23:58 01 Dec 2010
Christ Zuzu - you are extremely heavy. I may have to put you down.
Now then George. No 'put downs' allowed.
It might be coz I just pooped my pants.
By Lady Godiva at 00:00 02 Dec 2010
Sorry Mary I was just at the convent down the street, donating to the sperm bank
George your hand is nipples are standing up.
You mean Sperm whale don't you daddy?
By Jean Le Fete at 01:54 02 Dec 2010
Say... Santa looks familiar. Who is it?
That's Peter File isn't it? He's usually the Santa at this party...
Not this year. Failed his CRB after showing me his bulging sack last Christmas.
By pinxit at 09:06 02 Dec 2010
Pompey won again, Mary. I'm so happy.
Yes George. Everything's going to be all right now.
What's a Pompey, daddy?
By Ellis Ian Fields at 09:09 02 Dec 2010
Wowzers, sacked from BBC1
It's your own fault for getting surgery to look like Jonathon Ross
As long as you don't start acting like him!
By IainB at 10:08 02 Dec 2010
I have lived this year twice now
So you know the results of every horse race?
Of course he doesn't, he's a moron, and we're poor.
By IainB at 10:14 02 Dec 2010
Look, here comes the ice cream truck.
I'm getting a brain freeze just thinking about ice cream.
If I turn my head the other way, does my nose look just as big?
By Charpa93 at 10:47 02 Dec 2010
Table for three?
Oh honey, we're at IHOP we can seat ourselves.
I just ate the gingerbread man's butt.
By Charpa93 at 10:51 02 Dec 2010
I'm from the planet Zoloft and this is my wife Xanax
Let go of me George, or I swear I'll call the cops.
Don't mind my daddy, he's coo-coo nuts.
By Charpa93 at 10:53 02 Dec 2010
We walked here all the way from Kokomo.
And boy are our legs tired.
Let me down now daddy, I have a cramp in my butt.
By Charpa93 at 10:55 02 Dec 2010
"Just a minute -- I want to watch this documentary on jungle warfare!"
"Darling, we need to go to the shops before they close!"
"I'm a celebrity, get me out of here!"
By IN SEINE at 11:24 02 Dec 2010
Boy, I sure hope that WikiLeaks doesn't find out about my third testicle.
Or about my sex change operation.
Or about the fact that you two conceived me out of wedlock.
By SpaceElevator at 16:59 02 Dec 2010
"I think they have named them after her...Zuzuvelas I think!"
"Shall we buy our darling daughter one of those fancy trumpets for Christmas?"
"They call them VUVUZELAS you idiot!"
By IN SEINE at 19:06 02 Dec 2010
Darling, the World Cup will be in Russia this year. Do you understand that word?
Yes dear. Football is an overrated sport. At least they lost with dignity.
Pah! Two votes! Suck on that bitches.
By masterchev at 22:24 02 Dec 2010
Isn't she a beauty Mary?
Yeah. Amazing what Sky Plus can give you these days. I'll never miss XFactor!
I feel like a dirty 1920s stereotype cartoon.
By masterchev at 22:25 02 Dec 2010
Who let the colored fellow in?
I wish I could let this fart out.
What drug should I become addicted to when I grow up?
By Guy Bellefonte at 01:04 03 Dec 2010
2. It's mommy's Christmas present dear, from old Mr Gower.
3. I wish I had a million dollars... Hot dog!
1. Daddy, why is that man taking all of his clothes off?
By Mark at 08:31 03 Dec 2010
Well, looks like there's an angel needing wings.
I'll get my box of maxi-pads and help her out.
Isn't it about time we had that little talk mommy?
By Charpa93 at 14:47 03 Dec 2010
Who just farted because it was definitely not me.
Oh know I would NEVER do such a thing.
Yeah! Right. Blame it on the dog again.
By Lady Godiva at 03:17 04 Dec 2010
Hey! Do you think the angels can CHOOSE their wings
You mean like barbecue, honey garlic or suicide
Stoopid.This movie was made years before people started to eat chicken wings.
By Lady Godiva at 03:29 04 Dec 2010
I got my life back, but kids and marriage have taken my soul.
I can barely contain my disgust, my skin crawls when you touch me.
Oh goody! Divorce presents!
By mickrikko at 14:37 04 Dec 2010
Oh, to hell with it, I'm off to bermuda with the building and loan money.
Good idea, let's leave this god-awful miserable hick town and stupid assed kids.
What's a building?
By Mark at 14:50 04 Dec 2010
Say, brainless, how about I beat your head in with a coconut?
Geroge? What are you crazy?!
I think daddy's having another acid flashback momma.
By Mark at 14:51 04 Dec 2010
I wish I had a million dollars.
Hot dog!
Will you guys shut the hell up with that already?!
By Mark at 14:53 04 Dec 2010
You're a pair of freaking morons!
By Mark at 14:53 04 Dec 2010
Buffalo Girls won't you come out tonight, come out tonight. Buffalo Girls...
By Mark at 14:55 04 Dec 2010
I'm the king of the world!!!
Yeah, you'd give Leonardo DiCaprio a run for his money any day dear.
Shame we're not on a boat, ya frickin' moron.
By Mark at 14:56 04 Dec 2010
Zuzu's petals, yargh, Zuzu's petals, nrggh petals...Zuzu...Zuzu petals
Oh God, what's wrong George? Snap out of it. You've been like this since act 2.
I think you braindeaded daddy when you whacked him with the frying pan momma.
By Mark at 14:58 04 Dec 2010
I feel so good, I could spit in Potter's eye.
George, I'm totally wasted right now. I should've drunk that tequilla.
Spit? I'm gonna go poop in it.
By Mark at 15:00 04 Dec 2010
Whrer's my hat?
You never said that.
Ohhh Daddy!
By Bureau at 15:07 04 Dec 2010
It was your turn last time, remember?
OK! OK! Let's go to bed.
At 4 in the afternoon?
By Bureau at 15:08 04 Dec 2010
Hey "uncredited townsmen" I'm George motherf'ing Bailey, y'all. Don't forget it.
He's George motherf'ing Bailey, y'all.
Yeah, Jackwads!
By SpaceElevator at 17:28 04 Dec 2010
Let's bet on who is coming through the Pearly Gates next...
I'm thinking one of the members of ZZ Top...
...but I'm not dead yet.
By SpaceElevator at 17:31 04 Dec 2010
What a wonderful time of the year!
Please dear, you cannot sing.
He can't even whistle.
By Bureau at 20:14 04 Dec 2010
I saw an angel I tell you.
Sure you did.
Daddy's drunk.
By Bureau at 20:16 04 Dec 2010
It's a wonderful life.
It WAS. We're all dead now except maybe the kid.
I'll have to look myself up on wikipedia.
By Bureau at 20:17 04 Dec 2010
What was that buzzer?
I don't know.
I think somebody just got their horns & tail.
By Bureau at 20:18 04 Dec 2010
What a loving family, I can't believe I almost threw it all away.
I wish he jumped off that bridge so I could get my hands on that life insurance
Why do I look just like the milk man?
By Guy Bellefonte at 22:48 04 Dec 2010
That old Buzzard turned out to be an angel!
And you turned out to be a nut job.
That old fart an angel? Come on, daddy!
By Bureau at 23:40 04 Dec 2010
He was an angel!
And I'm a leprechaun!
I'm Tinkerbell. hee hee
By Bureau at 23:41 04 Dec 2010
No, I had this weird dream!
Spiced your eggnog at work, probably!
Probably Pual Masson Rose!
By Bureau at 23:43 04 Dec 2010
Pual what?
She spoke it misspelled.
I meant Paul Masson. Farthead can't type.
By Bureau at 23:44 04 Dec 2010
Hey, I just heard that Birbee is Featured Writer
What? When?Where?When? Why?Who?
You just did the 5 W's mommy but YOU did 6. Clever you!
By Lady Godiva at 13:58 05 Dec 2010
Tee hee hee... beer... the angel said so!
Zuzu, this is what happens when your father gets drunk.
Great quotation! I'm posting that on Facebook!
By thebalancer at 20:07 05 Dec 2010
I can't wait to get home and have a scotch.
This bozo squeezes any harder and I'm kneeing him in the crotch.
These bogus actor parents are so narcissistic.
By C. Cranium at 20:52 05 Dec 2010
What do you think, Mary? Reckon we can do it?
In your dreams, Georgie.
Just get me my raincoat in case you vomit.
By Bugatti Dunes Ex at 02:13 07 Dec 2010
1.OO........................ 4.AH-AH................. 7.WALLA-WALLA....
2.EEE........................ 5.TING................... 8.BING...............
3.OO........................ 6.TANG.................. 9.BANG...............
By SpaceElevator at 22:48 08 Dec 2010
I'm pretty bored stiff now.
Ooh! Yes, I can FEEL it George.
What do you mean Mary?
By Lady Godiva at 23:37 08 Dec 2010
Does God exist Mary?
No you idiot. He was made up by people who are scared of death.
But we are all dead now - and it's just like before we were born.
By Lady Godiva at 23:39 08 Dec 2010
She is handsome, she is pretty... Please won't you tell me, who is she?
He pulls my hair and he stole my comb, but that's alright til I go home...
Tell my ma when I go home, the boys won't leave the girls alone...
By SpaceElevator at 02:42 09 Dec 2010
That was a long wait behind Bush & the Pope -- I gotta piss like a racehorse!
George, behave. can piss in my new purse. I'll return it next week.
Are we stuck here til Christmas?! But I wanna open my presents from Santy Claus!
By SpaceElevator at 04:26 09 Dec 2010
That angel told me that Ronnie Reagan's gonna be president one day.
Angels and ministers of grace defend us!
I mean! What the flip kind of a name is Zuzu?
By Ellis Ian Fields at 15:44 09 Dec 2010
If that taxi driver so much as looks at you again I'll give him such a twatting!
Oh, George! He's harmless.
Why were you wrestling with him in the back of his car yesterday, mommy?
By Ellis Ian Fields at 15:49 09 Dec 2010
Mary, that's not really MY arm around you. My arm isn't that long
I know George. I also KNOW where your right hand is RIGHT now George
Mary, you should be worrying MORE about where George's LEFT hand is !
By Lady Godiva at 02:55 10 Dec 2010
Are you looking forward to taking over as Miss Ellie?
Well, that Bobby's a dish!
Larry Hagman says it'll be a cold day in hell before you get a second season!
By Ellis Ian Fields at 16:16 10 Dec 2010
Sorry ladies - I just farted.
Oh George dear! Don't be so crude. You should just have said 'I've fluffed'
Yes, that's what I've been taught to say George.
By Lady Godiva at 23:47 10 Dec 2010
I think I have tinitus.
Do you mean you are constitpated? You have that strained look on your face.
No...he's just hearing the sound of thousands of angels getting their wings.
By Lady Godiva at 00:33 11 Dec 2010
Why do I get the feeling we're in a caption bubble?
Nah! We aren't... right?
Well, someone explain the speech bubbles hovering around the place.
By Inhopeless at 17:47 11 Dec 2010
Beans, beans, the magic fruit.
The more you eat the more you toot.
The more you toot, the better you feel. That's why we have beans for every meal
By Lady Godiva at 20:19 11 Dec 2010
"Jingle bells..."
"Batman smells..."
"Robin's baskin' on an open fire... I'm just a mixed up kid!"
By IN SEINE at 20:25 11 Dec 2010
Can I stuff the turkey now, Mary?
Of course you can George - just be gentle though - like you do it to me!
You mean RAM in the old sage and BOTH onions 'til it makes your eyes water?
By IN SEINE at 20:58 11 Dec 2010
Mary, don't you just hate it when Spoof writers have control over what we say?
Not really George. They speak as much bullshiit as WE do. Dontcha know?
Oh! Mary, please don't speak so!
By Lady Godiva at 04:56 12 Dec 2010
Oh my Mary! Did you know that Nick Hobbs had broken his finger?
Who is Nick Hobbs my dear?
Mary...he is just the biggest fan of Spoof Writer, Lady Godiva.
By Lady Godiva at 04:58 12 Dec 2010
Do you think Lady Godiva, Spoof writer....really looks like her profile picture
Don't be so stupid George. None of them look like their pictures.
Right George....just look at some of their avatars. Gimmee a break. Sheesh!
By Lady Godiva at 05:01 12 Dec 2010
I'm very Proud of our daughter, Mary, she has become a great car maker!
I wondered why she wouldn''t play with dolls and girly things
Yep... made a name for myself......... IZUZU
By IN SEINE at 11:29 12 Dec 2010
Oh god, it's a bloody Jehovah's Witness. Just smile and it might go away...
I'm not smiling at it! It might sense weakness. Sigh, okay, just a small one...
It's not working, Daddy! Run!
By mattymc13 at 21:48 12 Dec 2010
Glad to see you're wearing that doily dress I made for you last Christmas, Mary.
I wonder what you've made for me this year, George.
You're only as good as your last screw-up, Meathead.
By SpaceElevator at 07:14 13 Dec 2010
Kids say the darnedest things, don't they Mary?
I'm pleading the fifth amendment on this one, George.
Do as I say, folks. Or the stooge here says "Howdy!" to my Vulcan death grip.
By SpaceElevator at 07:30 13 Dec 2010
2. Thats because he comes from Russia, Zuzu
1. Daddy, why's that weatherman on the telly called 'Rudolph the Red'?
By IN SEINE at 12:41 13 Dec 2010
Isn't it great that we are all frozen in time like this
Yes George, not everyone has the ability to be so
Bu' it's gettin' ded friggin' borin'. A want t'do summit dff'rent ....innni' ?
By Lady Godiva at 02:58 14 Dec 2010
I wish we were in colour because I just love this purple scarf.
It is very nice. Where did you get it.
I know! One of the 'sane' Susan Boyle fans knit it for him. They ALL wear purp
By Lady Godiva at 02:59 14 Dec 2010
I just think those Spoof Writers are hilarious. Don't you?
No! Personally I think they are very crude and write many distasteful articles.
That's the whole point...or they'd be on a Susan Boyle fansite 'playing nice'.
By Lady Godiva at 03:02 14 Dec 2010
Have you met Mark Lowton Mary? I hear he's a 'hoot'.
Yes George. He seemed to be a very nice young man.
Ha! He must have been on his BEST behaviour the day you met him. He's a pig.
By Lady Godiva at 03:08 14 Dec 2010
I just went over to The Spoof and read Lady G.'s stories. She is amazing.
I saw her profile 'image' George. Calm down. She looks NOTHING like that image
Oh Mary! Don't dash the dreams of all those old fellas who write for The Spoof.
By Lady Godiva at 03:11 14 Dec 2010
Could I borrow some money and take Zuzu to the race track, Pet?
Oh no, George. You're having one of those Andy Capp "episodes" again.
But I want to go to the race track!
By SpaceElevator at 22:17 14 Dec 2010
I could have smiled without help from prompts
He does look funny.
Fatty Arbuckle without trousers! Wow!
By Bureau at 19:45 15 Dec 2010
It's a wonderful life.
But we're all dead.
I died at 90!
By Bureau at 19:46 15 Dec 2010
2. Martha!..................... 4. Oh, Martha!............... 6.You complete me!
1. George!.................. 3. Oh, George!.............. 5. My breath is gone!
7. Get a room, you two.
By SpaceElevator at 20:11 15 Dec 2010
So - did they watch us or "Scrooge?"
I don't give a monkey's - I'm knackered. 2 hours plus for crying out loud!
God bless us, every one.
By Ellis Ian Fields at 20:30 15 Dec 2010
2. Oh Donna - twarnt nuthin! You know you're the only gal for me.
1. Shop Around The Corner, is it? Margaret bloody Sullavan? You bastard!
3. Is daddy sleeping on the couch again mommy?
By Ellis Ian Fields at 20:35 15 Dec 2010
Oh, Donna - you make me stand up, you make me stand up Donna...
Oh, George. 10CC - our first gig... you remembered.
Tcha! Mom! Dad! It's so embarrassing! You're so stuck in the bloody 70's.
By Ellis Ian Fields at 20:40 15 Dec 2010
We all live in a Yellow Submarine,.....
A Yellow Submarine, a Yellow Submarine
Hey, I just read that the Titanic was really designed as a submarine
By Lady Godiva at 00:14 16 Dec 2010
How long do you think we'll be stuck here? I have Christmas shopping to finish
Stop whining. You should be happy that people remember you George.
Yes George. They only remember me as Jedd Clampet's ma in That Hillbilly show.
By Lady Godiva at 00:17 16 Dec 2010
Wow! I've just seen that photo of Lady Godiva the Spoof writer. Cor!
Calm down George. She chose it from some images on the site.
That's true George. She's probably nothing like that image. Drool on though.
By Lady Godiva at 00:19 16 Dec 2010
Watch out. The Subo Fanatics are heading this way.
Armed with red scarves and plenty of Blessings.
You're ok George. You are wearing a red scarf though we're in black and white.
By Lady Godiva at 13:38 16 Dec 2010
Whoops! I'm not wearing any pants -- and I think I just shat myself...
Don't be silly, George.
Pretend-Daddy, why is poop brown?
By SpaceElevator at 14:16 16 Dec 2010
Mary, are you the virgin one?
Of course George, pure as the driven snow.
Do you mean the 'yellow' snow Mary!
By Lady Godiva at 17:25 16 Dec 2010
Somebody's moved the snowman's carrot again.
They should be ashamed.
Why down there?
By Bureau at 13:02 17 Dec 2010
I'm happy, even though I have pneumonia from running around in the snow.
We should have filmed indoors.
What aboout the car scenes?
By Bureau at 13:07 17 Dec 2010
That last "Ding" was mine. It's frozen to my leg.
Let's get you thawed out.
Am I going to have a baby brother?
By Bureau at 13:09 17 Dec 2010
Gary Cooper, Cary Grant, and Clark Gable walk into a bar...
Did they need stitches?
Good one!
By SpaceElevator at 11:25 18 Dec 2010
Santa Claus, Julian Assange, and Barack Obama walk into a bar...
Very funny, George.
Pretend Mommy&Daddy, stop!! I can't distinguish sarcasm and verbal irony yet...
By SpaceElevator at 11:36 18 Dec 2010
That's just how it happened honey
An 'Angel' called Clarence? Are you a faggot?
Daddy I guess some days it would be best if you'd never been born
By Lynton at 21:25 18 Dec 2010
They called off the footy!
Never mind, George. There's one or two things you can do round here.
Mend the bannister, daddy.
By Ellis Ian Fields at 08:21 19 Dec 2010
The screen door slams, Mary's dress waves.
Like a vision she dances across the floor as the radio plays...
Oh, purleeeze - enough with the Springsteen already!
By Ellis Ian Fields at 08:32 19 Dec 2010
I've just noticed that the two parts of my shirt collar don't match.
Mimicking part of your family jewels George.
Do we have family jewels? Oh goody goody gumdrops. We're rich!
By Lady Godiva at 12:01 19 Dec 2010
I fancy good slice of tripe for dinner Mary.
Well there's plenty of it around here George, just look for yourself.
Is tripe that white rubbery stuff we slide on barefoot in Billy Tripemans' yard?
By Lady Godiva at 12:05 19 Dec 2010
I think I need to check myself into The Priory Clinic after this Caption comp.
Are you sure George? I hear it's been taken over by those Subo Fanatics.
Yes, pretend Daddy, you'll be worse when you come out than when you went in.
By Lady Godiva at 15:15 19 Dec 2010
I hear Mick Jagger is still alive Mary.
Yes, I was shocked to find out. I thought he'd died years ago.
Who's Mick Jagger. Does he write for that silly Spoof paper?
By Lady Godiva at 15:16 19 Dec 2010
Gee Mary, Larry King has hung up his suspenders. That's a shocker.
Yes George, it's all that was holding him together actually.
Who's Larry King? Is HE another of those Spoof Writers pretend Daddykins?
By Lady Godiva at 15:19 19 Dec 2010
Not many people writing captions lately Mary.
I know George. I think the novelty is wearing off.
Don't say that mommy, I like sitting up here smiling.
By Lady Godiva at 15:20 19 Dec 2010
I know I'm a bit behind with the news, but the Vatican has ok'd condom use.
Oh, that's much too late for us George. Look at little Zuzu.
Don't we live in a huge condom mommy?
By Lady Godiva at 15:45 19 Dec 2010
Is Mark Lowton still around? I hear he has others helping him edit now.
Yes George, seems he is still too busy to change the Captions though.
Oh mommy, I don't want to go....I don't waannt to gooo. Don't take me away Mark.
By Lady Godiva at 15:48 19 Dec 2010
There is so much to say, and so few characters. Eighty just does not seem to be
enough...I finished your sentence for you George because our lines are written
by the same person so it doesn't really matter if YOU can't finish your sentence
By Lady Godiva at 15:50 19 Dec 2010
Ya know. I kinda miss Bureau, that great Spoof Writer, don't you?
Yes George, but he'll be back again someday.
Just like Frosty the Snowman George. Don't get upset now.
By Lady Godiva at 16:33 19 Dec 2010
Have you noticed a lot of the Spoof Writers seem to be suffering physically.
Yes, George, it's because the average age of a Spoof writer is 85 dear.
Wow, that's pretty old Mary. Are they all bald with whiskers and no teeth?
By Lady Godiva at 16:36 19 Dec 2010
What's that ringing sound I hear Mary?
That's Mark Lowton ringing for one of his minions to get him a beer.
I thought you said it was an angel getting their wings. YOU LIED!
By Lady Godiva at 16:37 19 Dec 2010
OK you can have a new car for Christmas. Just let go of my testicles
It's not me, but as you're offering.............
Ah-Ha! The child with the four foot long arm strikes again!
By churchmouse at 21:50 19 Dec 2010
Oh my! I hear Susan Boyle fans are fighting again on their fansites.
Yes. Sad really. Susan would be so upset.
Never mind. There'll always be The Spoof to run to for safety.
By Lady Godiva at 23:57 19 Dec 2010
Am I dead?
Not sure.
Such was life.
By Lady Godiva at 23:57 19 Dec 2010
Is there truly 'life after death or do we just GO?
I'm not sure George. Jesus was supposed to come back to let us know.
Everytime Jesus comes back, they lock him up in a loony bin. He must be fed up.
By Lady Godiva at 00:02 20 Dec 2010
Oh me! Oh my! This is feeling like War and Peace all over again...lengthwise .
Yes I know what you mean George. Or the Ten Commandments movie. That was long.
Lady G's dad took her to see it. He sat for over 4 hours with a boil on his bum
By Lady Godiva at 03:07 20 Dec 2010
Lady G's dad sat through the movie The Ten Commandments, with a boil on his bum
I heard that he did. It's the truth too. Nice fella her dad was.
Yup! Ain't that the truth. He brought her up with values. She misses him.
By Lady Godiva at 03:09 20 Dec 2010
Mary, it's rather slow around here lately. Do you think people bored with us?
Maybe with YOU George, but certainly not with ME.
I'm getting a bit fed up now. Only Lady Godiva writing for us lately!
By Lady Godiva at 13:55 20 Dec 2010
I'll send a text to Mark to see if he's even bothering with us lately.
Well, he IS busy with the new Approval Centre George.
But - that's no excuse to leave us stranded here is it? I used to like Markie.
By Lady Godiva at 14:42 20 Dec 2010
Well Mary, best grin and bear it. Looks like we're stuck here for a bit longer.
Oh George, I do so need to powder my nose.
Well you can do that in front of us Mary. What's the problem?
By Lady Godiva at 19:39 20 Dec 2010
This piece of hair is annoying me more than a dangling participle.
Don't worry George. Everyone is looking at me and admiring my beauty.
Wow. Talk about an inflated ego. Inflate it more and you'll merely burst Mary.
By Lady Godiva at 19:41 20 Dec 2010
Damn, I forgot to put the Lottery numbers on Mary. Now I can't move.
Damn you George. Damn you to hell. I bet our numbers come up this week.
You mean, you are both going to DIE????? Nooooooooooooo!
By Lady Godiva at 19:42 20 Dec 2010
1. Knock, knock. 3. Irma. 5. Irma Fedup and Anna Wannagohome.
2. Who's there? 4 Irma who? 6. That's pretty pathetic George.
7. Well, we're stuck with him Mary, until a new photo and bubbles come up.
By Lady Godiva at 23:28 20 Dec 2010
Oh my dear Lord....I cannot believe what I am seeing Mary.
What ARE you seeing George pray tell. Do not keep me in suspense my darling.
He bloody well sees that we are still effing well HERE. Pardon the language.
By Lady Godiva at 03:42 21 Dec 2010
Sheesh Mary, dog gone it...I feel like saying a very bad word at the moment.
George, hold back....don't get stressed for we shall be gone from this site soon
That''s what YOU think Mary...Mark has forgotten ALL aboout us. You'll see.
By Lady Godiva at 03:44 21 Dec 2010
I have an urge to listen to Susan Boyle's new CD The Gift, Mary.,
I know George. Me too...but we cannot hear anything here. We can just talk.
I have heard the CD 'TheGift' and I think ALL Spoof writers should buy it. :)
By Lady Godiva at 03:47 21 Dec 2010
Well Mary, seems Lady G. is the only one putting words in our mouths right now.
Yes George...and she's pretty unimaginative...just clutching at straws right now
Well you two, at least SHE is taking part and playing the game.
By Lady Godiva at 03:49 21 Dec 2010
Mary, did YOU do Zuzu's hair today.
Why yes George I did do Zuzu's hair. Why?
Well Mary, he told me that my hairstylist was crap. He hates this style.
By Lady Godiva at 03:52 21 Dec 2010
Jesus, Mary, mother of God. We're still hanging in here.
Yes George. Why do I often begin sentences with 'Yes George'?
Because you are such a boring 'broad' Mary. That's what I heard George say.
By Lady Godiva at 03:54 21 Dec 2010
Lady Godiva has "writer's block" at the moment Mary.
How do you know this George my dearest? How could you possibly know such a thing
Oh. Think about it Mary. Why the hell else would she be hanging around here?
By Lady Godiva at 03:57 21 Dec 2010
Where have all the writers gone? Long time passing. Where have all the writers
gone..long time ago. Gone to stories everyone. Left us here to rot my love.
When will they ever learn? When will they eeeveeeer learn?
By Lady Godiva at 04:00 21 Dec 2010
Try as I might Mary, I just cannot come up with something new to say. You?
Buggered if I can think of new stuff George. I'm well 'spent'.
Dat's not da way t'do it guys. Create...create....create...youse can do it.
By Lady Godiva at 04:02 21 Dec 2010
Shit..sorry about that...but it's a new day in England now yet not in Canada.
I know what you are going to say George "AND WE ARE STILL HERE"
I am going to contact the CAS - Children's Aid Society. I'M being exploited!
By Lady Godiva at 04:57 21 Dec 2010
Mary..Zuzu...I am going to take my own life. I'm not sure WHERE I am taking it
Call us when you get to your new life George. Perhaps we can join you.
Well hell's bells Mary, it can't be any worse than THIS crap Caption thingy.
By Lady Godiva at 05:02 21 Dec 2010
Mark, Mark, where are you our Sweet Saviour?
We bow to you oh Great One who is known as Mark. Get us the hell outa here.
Mary, I don't think Mark likes rude words. Perhaps you could rephrase that.
By Lady Godiva at 05:04 21 Dec 2010
Sweet Jesus! Here we stand and Christmas just around the corner.
I know George. I wish Mark would hurry up and `free` us. I have shopping to do.
Ooh! Mary...and you Baby Jesuseseses momma
By Lady Godiva at 00:28 22 Dec 2010
Ya wanna know what I think...I think Lady G. will win this one .
Ssh George! She`s the only one keeping us alive here. Don`t scare her away.
What do you mean. I hear she just loves all the attention. An APE told me so.
By Lady Godiva at 00:31 22 Dec 2010
What's the current endurance record for a Caption Competition stunt, Mary?
41 days I think, George. If I'm not mistaken, "W" and the Pope won a new truck.
Has anyone Googled "Endurance Stunt Backer Settles Case over Suicide" recently?
By SpaceElevator at 00:34 22 Dec 2010
Mary, There`s a SKULL looking over my shoulder between us.
George - it iISstrange thhings you notice when you have been here so long.
Yes, I have just noticed how enormous my left ear actually is.
By Lady Godiva at 00:34 22 Dec 2010
Mary, there is a SKULL behind me, between us, over my right shoulder.
George, it IS amazing the details one notices when one has been here so long.
Yes, I have just noticed how enormous my left ear actually is.
By Lady Godiva at 00:37 22 Dec 2010
Gee Mary. All the needles have fallen off the Christmas Tree.
What did you expect George. They haven`t invented fake trees yet.
Oh Mary, I hope they never do. That`d be like having a fake Santa Claus.
By Lady Godiva at 00:40 22 Dec 2010
Could we get some Visine, please...?
I'm not sure which is worse: the sleep deprivation or the not showering part.
I have some extra NoDoz if anyone needs it...
By SpaceElevator at 00:42 22 Dec 2010
Gosh darn it Mary. Just gosh darn it. I don`t know what else to say.
I am quite speechless myself George dear. I`ll `gosh darn` it WITH you.
Oh to hell....I`ll `gosh darn`it too but I prefer rogan gosh and aloo gobi.
By Lady Godiva at 00:42 22 Dec 2010
The calendar shows we've only been up for 23 days??? -- How demoralizing.
We're going to win that new truck, George.
23 days is chump change, Pretend-Daddy.
By SpaceElevator at 00:48 22 Dec 2010
Jesus! How long do we have to stay here? I forget!
Don't worry about it George. We're all dead anyway. I think.
Pretend mommy and daddy, are we safe from Monkey Woods and his alter egos?
By Lady Godiva at 00:07 23 Dec 2010
Zuzu, what would you like for Christmas dear...besides a new name?
Oh George dear! Don't ask her questions she is unable to answer.
It's OK Maryu..
By Lady Godiva at 00:09 23 Dec 2010
Zuzu, what would you like for Christmas dear...besides a new name?
Oh George dear! Don't ask her questions she is unable to answer.
It's OK mummy dearest. George I WOULD like to change my name - to - Jesus.
By Lady Godiva at 00:11 23 Dec 2010
Another question Zuzu....who is your favourite Spoof Writer?
Oh George dearest - that is not a FAIR question - putting Zuzu on the spot .
No!'s OK really. Easy answer. LADY GODIVA because she seeks attention
By Lady Godiva at 00:14 23 Dec 2010
It's almost Christmas Mary. Did you take the turkey out?
No dear! David Cameron wanted to stay in and watch television.
What's he watching Mary? "Hairdos of the not so rich and famous"?
By Lady Godiva at 17:49 23 Dec 2010
I really gotta pee, lets get this over with.
I should have done that Tarzan flick at Warner Brothers.
This smile is starting to hurt.
By C. Crawdad at 19:25 23 Dec 2010
When's Mark coming to let us out of here?
Oh Georg. I don't know. You know I don't pay attention to such details.
I don't care. I'm having lots of fun. Look at my face. Am I bovvered?
By Lady Godiva at 14:15 24 Dec 2010
That snowman looks funny.
It's leaning toward the Whitakers.
Dog pissed on it. See how yellow that side is.
By Bureau at 16:48 24 Dec 2010
Yes zuzu I do believe they are
Anything's better than what you put in mine last night George
Daddy are those spoofer guys trying to put words in my mouth?
By Lynton at 00:26 25 Dec 2010
Merry Christmas, Mary!
Oh, George... nobody reads this stuff anymore.
Un-f*cking-believable. Four weeks of my short life down the drain and for what?
By SpaceElevator at 08:07 25 Dec 2010
There it is again.
It looks like a live snowman.
Look at the big feet!
By Bureau at 13:06 25 Dec 2010
Wonder why the director is waving his arms about?
We ARE smiling.
I think it's because the camera is to our left.
By Bureau at 13:07 25 Dec 2010
On the 1st day of Christmas, my TRUE love gave to me a partridge in a pear tree
well I got you a tie and some slippers, George
it's obvious she doesn't LOVE YOU, Daddy!!!
By IN SEINE at 10:00 26 Dec 2010
On the 2nd day of Christmas, my TRUE love gave to me 2 turtle doves
Mummy they're SOO...1990s, they're no longer teenagers - and they're not birds
By IN SEINE at 10:15 26 Dec 2010
I was so cute in this movie.
You were a ham.
She called you a pig, daddy.
By Bureau at 18:52 26 Dec 2010
Mark bless us all, everyone.
Maybe we won't turn out like the pope & president.
Mark, I just pissed on Jimmy Stewart
By Bureau at 18:53 26 Dec 2010
I hope this caption competition ends soon
Are you getting cramp too?
No he can't wait to get his hands on Lady Godiva
By Lynton at 20:29 27 Dec 2010
They say 'publish or be damned'
Do they really?
Yes, so Mark is really going to hell this week
By Lynton at 14:37 28 Dec 2010
I just saw my whole life flash in front of me in 80 minutes.
Me too. Guess we're all dead by now.
Not me. I'm 93 & chasing the nursing home immigrant worker.
By Bureau at 14:49 28 Dec 2010
Well girls. It won't be long now. We'll soon be gone from the Spoof pages
Yes George! I'm wondering who will replace us dear.
Well, we're a h
By Lady Godiva at 13:35 29 Dec 2010
Well, it won't be long and we'll be gone from the pages of The Spoof.
Yes George. I'm wondering who will replace us.
We're a hard act to follow. I do hope it's not a Political Caption though.
By Lady Godiva at 13:37 29 Dec 2010
It's been fun hasn't it Mary, residing here and having people speak for us?
Yes George. No lines to's all been done for us.
Speak for yourselves! Oh! You can't - can you?
By Lady Godiva at 13:39 29 Dec 2010
I see Lady Godiva trie to put the same caption twice
Oh she probably jus hit the wrong button
I think she was attention seeking again :-)
By Lynton at 14:15 29 Dec 2010
You'd think they'd be fed up by now
Well you know how enthusiastic they are
At writing the first crap that comes into their heads
By Lynton at 14:18 29 Dec 2010
Oh no its that gosh darned Rabbit again
I can't see anything George
What's that white powder around your nose daddy
By Lynton at 14:20 29 Dec 2010
Susan Boyle is beginning to look 'good' to me Mary.
George, you HAVE been here too long.
Who's Susan Boyle?
By Lady Godiva at 14:31 29 Dec 2010
Yeah,well your hair makes your head look like a pie.
George did we not discuss the "fringe"?
sod these two,im off to narnia.
By paddy stash at 18:16 29 Dec 2010
What do youmean your hair needs washing Mary?
I haven't washed it for days now
Can I have first choice of the nits please
By Lynton at 19:57 29 Dec 2010
Mary, chill the white wine. Looks as if we'll be spending New Year's Eve here.
OK George. At least most of the Spoof Writers will be here.
Poor things. Don't they have real lives mommy and daddy, like we do?
By Lady Godiva at 14:01 30 Dec 2010
Have you seen 'Miracle of 34th Street' Mary?
No but I saw 'Nightmare on Elm Street' George.
I saw Sesame Street. It was the letter R.
By Lady Godiva at 14:06 30 Dec 2010
I s this compettion still not finished
I know Dear I need a pee too
Daddy does your hand feel warm?
By Lynton at 16:31 30 Dec 2010
My name is James Stewart
James Stewart what?
Here mam borrow my hearing aid
By Lynton at 16:33 30 Dec 2010
I hear Elton John has had a baby
Don't be so silly dear
Saturday night's alright for fighting
By Lynton at 16:34 30 Dec 2010
Is that Mark coming tout from behind the curtain?
I think he could be coming to changr the picture
Why are his trousers around his ankles?
By Lynton at 16:38 30 Dec 2010
The police have issued an Amber Alert for Mark.
Yes, and I've just seen his photograph on the side of the milk carton.
I just gave the police information about his last known whereabouts.
By Lady Godiva at 17:04 30 Dec 2010
Not long to go now my beauties, not long to go.
Are you talking to your balls again George? Waiting for them to shrivel up?
But we can use the footpump and inflate them again. Don't worry George.
By Lady Godiva at 20:08 30 Dec 2010
I suppose we are going to have to wait until the New Year to get out of here.
Seems that way George. Pass the vodka. It's gonna be a long coupla days.
Pour me a glass too George..never mind, just pass the bottle.
By Lady Godiva at 21:23 30 Dec 2010
Less than 24 hours to go Mary...are you ready to leave the pages of The Spoof
Oh George darling...I am MORE than ready. My suitcases are packed.
But will I be EVER seen again in movies pretend mommy and daddy?
By Lady Godiva at 03:49 31 Dec 2010
I wonder where we will be in 2011 Mary.
Dear George, I don't really give a damn as long as we are not HERE.
I want to be in movies. How can I find out if I am? I know. Google me!
By Lady Godiva at 04:44 31 Dec 2010
I auditioned for The Importance of Being Earnest but didn't get the part.
Which part did you try out for George?
I heard that it was for the part of THE HAAAAANNNNDDBAAAG.
By Lady Godiva at 04:46 31 Dec 2010
I've just joined Weight Watchers Mary.
Why George? You are in no way overweight.
No Mary....he just has a healthy fetish for FAT WOMEN.
By Lady Godiva at 04:48 31 Dec 2010
Mary, did you know I'm the only gay in the village?
I was a little suspicious George, when you ignored me, naked in bed.
Crikey, I'm learning all new stuff about you two. I hope Mark leaves us here.
By Lady Godiva at 04:50 31 Dec 2010
Did you read that 'Adopt a Bollock(s)' story Mary? If SHOULD
Oh George darling, are you trying to tell me something?
Duh! Yeah! He's trying to tell you that we are all speaking a load of bollocks
By Lady Godiva at 04:52 31 Dec 2010
I'm joining the 'Adopt a Bollocks' campaign Mary.
Why would you do such a thing George?
Because he wants to adopt bigger ones Mary, and call them his own.
By Lady Godiva at 04:54 31 Dec 2010
Counting down the hours till midnight now Mary, aren't you.
No George, I hate New Years it takes to get used to writing it on cheques
I can't count backwards yet George, only if I turn around.
By Lady Godiva at 13:52 31 Dec 2010
happy new ear mary
you mean happy new year george
no mommy he thinks you look like van Gogh
By Lynton at 18:56 31 Dec 2010
I'm still wondering who'll be replacing us ya know.
Me too. I'm wondering if they'll pick dead people or live ones this time.
It doesn't matter to me coz WE WILL NEVER KNOW!
By Lady Godiva at 19:46 31 Dec 2010
who's this gosh darned woman who keeps putting words in our mouths?
No idea George
She looks like she's going to strangle one of us with her red scarf
By Lynton at 20:13 31 Dec 2010
Gottle of geer Gottle of geer
Your not a very good Ventriloquist
And you can not spell, bitch
By armfeetandtoe at 21:54 31 Dec 2010
Not long now Mary.
It never WAS George, only in your imagination.
What are you grown-ups talking about? I bet it's rude as usual.
By Lady Godiva at 22:11 31 Dec 2010
I just read that they use arseholes to make hotdogs.
That's not nice George. They're called 'butchers' dear.
If a hole is nothing, then is an arsehole nothing too? I'm confused.
By Lady Godiva at 22:23 31 Dec 2010
Two hours or less and we should be outta here girls.
Now George...don't be getting our hopes up. We could be here a while.
Yes pretend Daddy, what if Mark forgets us altogether? What then Daddy?
By Lady Godiva at 22:25 31 Dec 2010
I can't wait for the fireworks. I'm so excited.
Mary, how come my words are in YOUR mouth.
Zuzu, that must be all the alcohol we've been consuming dear.
By Lady Godiva at 22:33 31 Dec 2010
Jesus Christ, it's 2011 and we are still ******* here. What in hell is going on
F****d if I know George, but I am right pissed off to still be here.
Oh...Happy 2011 George and Mary....Long may we live at The Spoof. I love it.
By Lady Godiva at 01:19 01 Jan 2011
I'm going to call my agent. This is just not in my contract.
Good luck George. Do you think agents give a damn about us?
No they don' long as they are getting their fees. Pump to them.
By Lady Godiva at 01:21 01 Jan 2011
It'll be a cold day in hell before I return to the Caption Comp. of The Spoof.
George, Mark won't even invite you. All the writers are sick of the three of us
Oh no Mary...they just love ME. They just LOVE CHILD ACTORS. I KNOW THEY DO.
By Lady Godiva at 01:24 01 Jan 2011
I just don't believe it Mary and Zuzu. Why does our Master desert us ?
That's a Master Debate George. Take it to the Spoof Writers' Guild.
Masterbate? That's really rude pretend Mommy. Wash your mouth out with soap.
By Lady Godiva at 01:27 01 Jan 2011
I just don't believe it! We're STILL here.
STILL being the operative word George. I'd 'leg it' if I could.
That's funny Mary...none of us HAVE legs tee hee!
By Lady Godiva at 12:24 01 Jan 2011
I see Queen Mudder won thousands of points in the Spoofs latest competition
Yes. All the others will be crying over their keyboards this morning
Ooh! Isn't that dangerous Mary? Are you going to get me a Tesco's Easter Egg?
By Lady Godiva at 14:13 01 Jan 2011
Do you think if a writer stares at this page they'll see it actually change
To the new caption you mean (having run out of characters).
Hmm! Do you think they have such pathetic lives that any of them will DO THAT?
By Lady Godiva at 14:18 01 Jan 2011
Lady G. WAS going to stare at this page to be here when and if, it changes.
I heard -but she's just found out Man. City play Blackpool and it's on telly.
Well, with that choice I'd be hard pushed to choose one.
By Lady Godiva at 14:23 01 Jan 2011
Christ its 2011 and we're still here!
Happy New Year Gorge - Happy new year Zuzu!
Whaddyamean its just the same pile of shit with different flies
By Lynton at 14:47 01 Jan 2011
Someone get this little cow off my arm
What do they say Zuzu?
Never work with children or animals
By Lynton at 14:50 01 Jan 2011
Have we really been here since September?
Thats what the list below says
three months of sheer hell for everyone including us
By Lynton at 14:52 01 Jan 2011
"Apt, I omit conception!"
"What does that mean dearest?"
"It's obviously an anagram of Caption Competition!"
By Inchcock at 15:13 01 Jan 2011
By Lady Godiva at 19:14 01 Jan 2011
I'm glad WE don't have to go to the new Approval Centre.
Christ! That'd add another 2 weeks to our stay here - at least!
Don't go giving Mark ideas now you two. Those Spoof writers are busy enough.
By Lady Godiva at 19:16 01 Jan 2011
Why do people say "I'll RUN a bath" or "I'll DRAW the curtains"?
Or even, "I'll CATCH a cab" or "I'll THROW you a party"?
Or "My nose is RUNNING" or "I'll DROP you a line" or "I'll be buggered!"
By Lady Godiva at 19:24 01 Jan 2011
Well Lady G. lost her own competition re: what time the caption would change.
Mark must have seen it and - knowing she was correct, changed his mind.
There's no justice in this world. No honour amongst thieves.No,no,no,no,yes!
By Lady Godiva at 19:40 01 Jan 2011
Do writers earn points for doing this Mary, or just get them for views.
Now there`s an interesting question George.
No it ISN`T coz he doesn`t have a question mark after his words .
By Lady Godiva at 19:45 01 Jan 2011
Wouldn`t it be funny if Mark put up a new caption when someone was typing�
It`d read like a load of rubbish though George. What`s that � for �. Oh I get it
What the hell do you call this then, Mary� (That`s lady G`s question mark).
By Lady Godiva at 19:48 01 Jan 2011
What is Lynton doing on the forum
Canvassing opinion I think
You mean Poll dancing surely
By Lynton at 22:06 01 Jan 2011
Christ, we are still here. So much for 'praying'. I heard he'd answer prayes
Oh George don't believe in all that god crap do you?
I was told you DO get an answer from God but it may not be the answer you WANT.
By Lady Godiva at 22:22 01 Jan 2011
God can't lose can he? You just HAVE to accept whatever he gives you.
Yes George. It took you a hellova lot of time to figure that one out. Bollocks.
I don't care as long as he leaves Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny alone.
By Lady Godiva at 22:27 01 Jan 2011
I promise to haunt Mark if he doesn't change this caption very soon.
I'm with you on that one George. Mark is definitely on MY list.
I'll come along and rattle the chains. He deserves it.
By Lady Godiva at 22:38 01 Jan 2011
Half past whatdoyoucallit and here we stand. Oh Canada!
Whatsisname doesn't give a whatdoyoucallem about whatsourfaces.
Well said you to. I think a thingummyjig will be coming our way shortly.
By Lady Godiva at 22:40 01 Jan 2011
I smell cabbage cooking. Anyone else smell it?
Yes George. Lady G. is bored and is cooking Cabbage au Gratin whilst she waits.
Yup. They're having Beef Tenderloin. Looks like an arm cut off by Dexter.
By Lady Godiva at 22:43 01 Jan 2011
I feel like a Nerd.
You LOOK like a nerd.
News update George. You ARE a nerd.
By Lady Godiva at 22:44 01 Jan 2011
Do you remember when 1984 was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay in the future Mary.
I do George. It seemed like Science Fiction and so much became true.
Except that men didn't REALLY land on the moon. It was filmed in a studio....
By Lady Godiva at 22:47 01 Jan 2011
Men did NOT really land on the moon ya know. That was a big hoax.
Yes George...I was in the 'pretend' documentary as a reporter.
I went to the moon once....on the end of Ralph Cramden's arm....
By Lady Godiva at 22:49 01 Jan 2011
Shoot...writers keep coming back here just to check if the caption has changed.
Well, that's good for us George. Isn't it dear?
It's only good for writers who keep putting words in our mouths to get points
By Lady Godiva at 23:16 01 Jan 2011
Don't YOU go putting words into my mouth Zuzu.
Don't worry George. Zuzu can't type or read.
I can TOO read. Anyway, don't worry George..Lady G. is doing her best for you.
By Lady Godiva at 23:18 01 Jan 2011
"Can you spoofers Please have a go at this competition?"
"Yes, as many as possible please!"
"Then they might change it, and I can get this hand off my bum!"
By Inchcock at 03:21 02 Jan 2011
What's that sticking out from behind the curtain?
I think it's the queen mudder's periscope
When she goes swimming with the guys they say she likes a 'submarine sandwich'
By Lynton at 06:22 02 Jan 2011
You think I 'look like Marilyn Monroe?'
No mom he said 'President Monroe' - isn't he a juan!
By Lynton at 06:27 02 Jan 2011
Where's skoob he should be here
He's at home with the flu and a hot toddy
Toddy's not here either
By Lynton at 06:29 02 Jan 2011
Mary someone just snatched my testicles
Who could that have been ?
Probably he same one who test tickled mommy's snatch
By Lynton at 06:33 02 Jan 2011
"Go dial Davy is good isn't she?"
"Go dial Davy?"
"Go dial Davy is a just one Lady Godiva anagram!"
By Inchcock at 09:44 02 Jan 2011
We're here until the twelfth day of Christmas....... that's January 6th!!
Then what?
By IN SEINE at 11:19 02 Jan 2011
Only 3 days to go until the Great Spoof Caption Writers Strike 2011
It's getting exciting isn't it George?
I bet Lady Godiva will be the first to break it? she's a slag - I mean SCAB!!!!
By IN SEINE at 11:31 02 Jan 2011
Oh, look, Mary, Elton John and his husband have a new baby boy!
Don't be ridiculous, George. How can two men make a baby?
They put it in a U-Tube and watch it grow. Honestly, get with the 21st century.
By Amethyst Ryder at 12:42 02 Jan 2011
Isn't that Lady G. peeping round the door Mary.
Yes George! She keeps checking in hoping to see a new Caption.
Well, she's going to have a long wait. Mark has other fish to fry.
By Lady Godiva at 17:06 02 Jan 2011
You'd think Lady G. would have better things to do that keep checking in on us.
George, lots of writers come here when they can't get inspiration to write.
That's true George. It makes them feel that their day actually has a purpose.
By Lady Godiva at 17:09 02 Jan 2011
I see Lynton is Featured Writer today Mary.
True George. Not before time. He is such a gentleman and a great writer too.
Mary and Lynton sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G. YOU KNOW THE REST.
By Lady Godiva at 17:12 02 Jan 2011
Shoot, she's here again peering round the door. She's giving me the creeps. mean Lady G. Well George, she's getting a little frustrated.
She's not the only one. I've seen a few of those writers peeking round the door
By Lady Godiva at 17:41 02 Jan 2011
There's a guy over there who doesn't know about the car bomb.
By Inhopeless at 17:41 02 Jan 2011
Roll on Jan. 6th and the Caption Writers Strike IF it goes ahead
I wonder if Mark will 'get the message' George?
Only time will tell. Only time will tell.
By Lady Godiva at 18:02 02 Jan 2011
The Aishwarya Rai Inflatable Doll has become biggest selling doll of all time.
What made you come out with THAT George?
Oh he's just proving that he DOES actually read the Spoofs on this site Mary.
By Lady Godiva at 18:13 02 Jan 2011
Kate Gosslin and Nadya Suleman are moving in together.
Are they lesbians George! Is that why they're moving in together.
No Mary. They're just two cows exploiting their poor children.
By Lady Godiva at 18:14 02 Jan 2011
I see Arnie Schwarzenegger is running for president Mary. Did YOU hear that?
Oh George! Please stop believing EVERYTHING you read over at The Spoof.
D'you mean it's NOT true Mary. Shoot. I'm a sucker for a good story.
By Lady Godiva at 18:16 02 Jan 2011
Darn, I just read in a REAL newspaper that Arnie Schcwarty is leaving politics
I read that too George. More fodder for the Spoof Writers anyway.
Ooh. I hope he makes more movies. I love Arnie.
By Lady Godiva at 18:46 02 Jan 2011
Do you think anyone will remember us when we die Mary. I, I, I mean REALLY?
Yes George we surely will. We are HERE aren't we?
Mark Lowton will be remembered for his very LONG caption competitions George.
By Lady Godiva at 21:52 02 Jan 2011
I heard that in the future, men will be having babies and marry each other.
Anything is possible George. Remember invisible rabbit?
Mary, don't be silly..that was just a movie, George means for REAL. I read it.
By Lady Godiva at 22:08 02 Jan 2011
Mary, why don't writers go back and fix their typos on the Captions?
Because it is too much of a hassle George and THEY know what each other means.
Yes George. They're MOSTLY an understanding group of individuals.
By Lady Godiva at 22:10 02 Jan 2011
I see Paris. I see France. I see Mark Lowton's underpants.
George dear..that is not really helping matters here you know.
Tee hee! But it's funny George. Leastways I think it is.
By Lady Godiva at 23:30 02 Jan 2011
There really are too many people round here with time on their hands
I know what you men
Dumbasses they're clled wrist watches
By Lynton at 23:48 02 Jan 2011
"I just don't know what to say..."
"Nor do I my darling!"
"Not many Spoofers do either!"
By Inchcock at 08:24 03 Jan 2011
Here we go again!
It's going to be a long day.
Aren't they ALL?
By Lady Godiva at 11:48 03 Jan 2011
Only 2 days now!
Lady Godivng will be the first!
By IN SEINE at 12:34 03 Jan 2011
No, I have faith in Lady Godiva but I know she doesn't like carrying placards.
The strike willl give her time to write something worthwhile.
Yes, she has been 'piddling about' the last few days.
By Lady Godiva at 13:35 03 Jan 2011
Some of our writers are very old Mary..and have many senior moments. mean they may FORGET to go on strike George.
Poor things. More to be pitied than scorned. We all get old - with luck.
By Lady Godiva at 13:36 03 Jan 2011
Time to take down the Christmas decorations Mary.
Yes, it's unlucky to leave them up after Jan 6th. or so they say.
Aren't we hope to be gone from here by then though?
By Lady Godiva at 19:31 03 Jan 2011
Zuzu they say imitation is he sincerest form of jealousy
Zuzuz It rained birds in Arkansas -I know I read it on the spoof
I read it too but I liked the first of the stories better
By Lynton at 22:24 03 Jan 2011
Yes Mary. I saw the stories. A little wierd I thought.
It happens all of the time George. Don't fret. It'll be fine.
George. It'll be OK honestly. Onward and upward as they say.
By Lady Godiva at 02:27 04 Jan 2011
When does the strike begin? I've forgotten already.
Oh. You mean when NO-ONE puts words into our mouths George?
Do you think it will ever happen George? I think it begins on January 6th.
By Lady Godiva at 02:29 04 Jan 2011
Does that woman never tire of putting words in our mouths?
Who Lady G?
Yep - if she's that naked one on the horse that is
By Lynton at 16:17 04 Jan 2011
I love you, Honey!
I love you too, George.
Guess you two need to go off camera. But I vote for a baby boy!
By Bureau at 19:22 04 Jan 2011
Thanks for staying loyal to me, Mary.
Well, there was this one incident.
Yeah Dad. She was kissing the Best Boy while you were flipping out.
By Bureau at 19:26 04 Jan 2011
And every time you hear a bell ring an angel gets his wings!
HIS wings?
Here in California, an Angel gets his first steroid shot.
By Bureau at 21:12 04 Jan 2011
No, when you hear a bell an Angel gets his wings!
Are they ALL male?
I think it's an Angel gets his Harley.
By Bureau at 21:16 04 Jan 2011
[Dear Lord: Please grant us the strength to make it through another day...]
[Dear diary: Judging by angle of the Sun, I think we are past the Solstice...]
[Day 36... Still no sign of Mark... Starting to ponder cannibalism...]
By SpaceElevator at 22:29 04 Jan 2011
"Happy Easter Darling..."
"It'll save him telling you later..."
By Inchcock at 08:37 05 Jan 2011
Well, if all goes to plan, we won't be speaking to each other after today.
Oh George, I AM going to miss you, and Zuzu too.
Don't lie Mary, you told me you are sick of the sight of George.
By Lady Godiva at 13:35 05 Jan 2011
After today WE SAY NOTHING!!
That's gonna be hard -I am a woman ya know?
... and I'm going to turn deaf overnight..
By IN SEINE at 15:14 05 Jan 2011
I'm going crazy, being stuck up here... it's just too long!
Its Prfoessor Lowton's fault, George.
He's using us for one of his psychological experiments...AGAIN!!!
By IN SEINE at 15:28 05 Jan 2011
"And now, the end is near..."
"And so we face, the final curtain..."
"And more, much more than this, we did it Mark's Way!"
By Inchcock at 16:27 05 Jan 2011
Being here is getting to be a bit like being tortured.
I know! I don't know how long I can 'hold out'. I'll tell them ANYTHING
Why don't we just all switch places? I'll be George, George be Mary etc.
By Lady Godiva at 16:28 05 Jan 2011
Oh, look, Mary, it's Ebenezer Blackadder...
The kindest, loveliest man in all of England...
What Would Baldrick Do?
By Amethyst Ryder at 17:22 05 Jan 2011
Any day now...
Any day now...
I shall be released...
By Amethyst Ryder at 17:28 05 Jan 2011
Mary, I can't move.
Neither can I, George. How are we EVER going to get out of this?
Don't worry, Mom. I have a cunning plan...
By Amethyst Ryder at 17:31 05 Jan 2011
By IN SEINE at 19:17 05 Jan 2011
I see no evil...
I speak no evil... (ESPECIALLY AFTER JANUARY 6th)
By IN SEINE at 19:24 05 Jan 2011
Only 8 hours to now Mary my love. I wonder how many scabs there'll be tomorrow.
Well, maybe not on 'purpose' George. Some writers may have been away nd not know
Yes, they may not know what we are talking about. Right?
By Lady Godiva at 21:12 05 Jan 2011
Come on dears, smile for the camera.
You smug bastard.
By Griff at 15:05 06 Mar 2011
So what has he got that I haven't
A massive trouser snake!!
Yeh! dad. Yours is tiny compared to that!
By Dirk Scare-Monger at 13:21 25 Mar 2011
The Sex Pistols are on next
Then the Damned
Can I spit all over mummy, daddy?
By Steddyeddy at 09:50 29 Mar 2011
That man is so handsome
The woman next to him is extremely beautiful
I like the pretty frame of that mirror
By Tommy Twinkle at 23:08 16 Apr 2011
o o o o o o oo o o (wow that babe is hot) o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
Back off Charlie! Debby is in the room!
Daddy LIKES that lady MOM!
By Aspartame Boy at 05:34 08 May 2011
C'mon Mary. You know I need to practice before I perform for the Rotary Club.
George, I can't watch. You know ventriliquist dummies weird me out.
Who are you calling a dummy? I'll jump off his hand and kick your butt!
By Pariah at 02:33 13 May 2011
I have the best family a man could wish for
I have all the love in the world
I have the hair of Eva Braun
By Ho Lee Crap at 15:09 10 Jun 2011
How much did we pay for that tree?
Sixty dollars, darling
You got ripped-off, bitch!
By Ho Lee Crap at 15:10 10 Jun 2011
Yep Mary, that's about the jist of it
So your uncle lost the money, you had a breakdown & were visited by an Angel?
Daddy's drinking again isn't he Mummy?
By Marc A Cutler at 19:48 26 Aug 2011
They say that every time a bell rings... angels gets its wings.
Except in this case. My Poptart is ready.
By JOJO at 03:37 10 Dec 2011
(Whispers) I Fucking Hate Christmas
Miserable Old CUNT!!
You two are both really really really OLD and stop calling mummy Christmas !!!
By MrNutz at 19:05 16 Aug 2012
Look, someone pulled up the Spoof website!
Yay! now we can get a buttload of spyware!
They tried to make an honest living--it didn't work....
By Mario at 19:26 01 Oct 2012
By yindsice at 19:23 19 Jan 2013
I see the way you look at him. But you're my wife and I can't let you go.
But I love him because he's so rich and handsome.
Yeah mom, you should divorse dad and Mary that guy.
By Dick Sheerer at 07:16 11 Jun 2015
So you won't sleep with me? I'll make sure the best you ever get is a TV show.
At least I don't end up reading stupid, sappy poems on late-night TV.
I had a shitty life but at least I'm still living!
By Al N. at 05:27 25 Dec 2016
Wow! Look at Trump and his wife fight!
You would think they would at least wait until they were somewhere more private.
Look, he's hitting her over the head with a chair!
By Al N. at 22:32 21 Jan 2017
You shouldn't have agreed.
I would have demanded more but I needed the eight million dollars
Not enough money. In that scene you can be seen in the crowd for a whole second.
By Tommy Twinkle at 13:31 02 Jul 2017
I still feel guilty bringing her into a world where...
Where her grandchildren will have to live under Trump as President, I know.
You say that twice a day Dad!
By Al N. at 01:29 12 Aug 2017
I can't believe this movie is considered one of the all-time greatest!
I was begging my agent to get me out of it.I offered to do She-Wolf of London!
I offered to do Dick Tracy Vs. Cueball!
By Al N. at 04:55 20 Nov 2017
Shall we just go home and watch Keeping up with the Kardashians?
What's a Kardashian?
It is when Ian is driving very fast.
By Ben Macnair at 14:06 06 Jan 2018
Wow! To think I was a Republican!
Well, I campaigned for feminist rights!
I wanted to protest child labor but my mother made me be home by 5.
By Al N. at 07:28 08 Dec 2018

Other caption competitions

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more