Queen Elizabeth, Laura Bush, and the Medics

Caption competition image
By author at 00:00 1 Jan 2000

Show all entries as a list.

Left guy Middle guy Right guy
Is he OK?
Looks like he was going to bow, then changed to getting down on one knee.
He looks like a pretzel, although I shouldn't ue that term I guess.
By Bureau at 12:48 13 Jul 2010
Everyone get ready to throw rice.
The Queen and Laura Bush must bothe be so proud.
Tony Blair and Dubya finally got married!
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 13:33 13 Jul 2010
I wonder if anyone knows I just farted?
I wonder if anyone sees me checking out the 90 year old Queen's butt?
Why is Laura Bush grabbing my ass and smiling?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 13:34 13 Jul 2010
We can rebuild him, we have the technology.
We can make him better than he was: faster, stronger, ....
I still don't think a 6 million dollar brain transplant will fix W.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 13:36 13 Jul 2010
Oh no, the Queen looks worried.
But Laura Bush looks excited.
I still wonder whey they let W. run for a third term.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 13:38 13 Jul 2010
I think the Queen looks constipated,
I think Laura is checking out that guy next to her.
I think I'm about to fart.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 13:40 13 Jul 2010
How did he get a segway in here?
The Queen is not pleased.
I think he nearly ran over her foot.
By Bureau at 13:42 13 Jul 2010
I don't believe it!
Neither does the Queen.
He told us Cheney said to always bring the Queen cigars.
By Bureau at 13:53 13 Jul 2010
The Queen and Mrs. Bush are checking out that guy on the end.
The Queen doesn't know what to think, but Bush is turned on.
I hope she doesn't try to cop a feel.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 13:58 13 Jul 2010
The asylum guys took away both Charles and Dubya.
The Queen looks worried about who will rule the empire.
Laura just hopes that George gets some nice toys to play with.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:00 13 Jul 2010
Should we tell the Queen her slip is showing?
Should we tell Mrs. Bush she's got toilet paper on her shoe?
Can we tell these old ladies to stop checking me out?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:14 13 Jul 2010
I wonder why Laura brough George to England to see doctors?
With Obama's medical plan, we actually have better care.
No, it's because Barack put Dubya first on a Death Squad list.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:38 13 Jul 2010
He gave his small speech & tried to leave by the elevator.
The Queen looks puzzled.
I think Laura is curious about his explanation when the door elevator reopens.
By Bureau at 14:52 13 Jul 2010
I heard the queen wants the meat loaf.
I heard that Laura Bush wants the pot roast.
I hope these ladies know that hospital cafeteria food sucks.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:52 13 Jul 2010
The Queen still likes George
She thinks he's funny.
Also, he doesn't grab her arm like leading a child.
By Bureau at 14:54 13 Jul 2010
I hate visiting day at the nut house.
The one in blue thinks she's the queen of England.
Yeah, but the one in red thinks she's hot and can grab my ass.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:01 13 Jul 2010
you'd have thought they'd never seen a naked man before
not one doing what he's doing
God.. I wish that were me..
By Colonel Juan at 15:49 13 Jul 2010
Women just love to check out the babies in the nursery.
I guess it makes them think of their own experiences as mothers.
It makes me think of the fun of just making the babies!
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 17:08 13 Jul 2010
I'm missing Adolf and Mussi already
Yeah! Never thought I'd miss the pair of them so much.
Stop whining the pair of you. Just get on with the competition.
By Lady Godiva at 17:10 13 Jul 2010
Blue and red! Do you think they're making a political statement?
No! We're dressed in white so it's the colours of the Union Jack , dummy!
And the American flag. So we are ALL safe.
By Lady Godiva at 17:13 13 Jul 2010
The one in red looks like that Canadian comedian....what's her name.
Laura Bush.
No the bloody comedian he means. You can be so irritating at times.
By Lady Godiva at 17:15 13 Jul 2010
I honestly never thought I'd get to see the Queen of England.
Don't get's just a 'Look Alike'. I've seen her before.
Me too...on an episode of Mr. Bean. It was hilarious. He nutted her at the end
By Lady Godiva at 17:18 13 Jul 2010
Has the Queen got one of her stupid handbags with her again?
I don't know. The photographer only got our top bits.
Speak for yourself. I met him in the mens' room.
By Lady Godiva at 17:20 13 Jul 2010
Mark should have given the Queen and Mrs. Bush a bubble too.
Don't go giving himn any more bloody ideas.
Right! It's hard enough with three of us having to say something witty.
By Lady Godiva at 17:22 13 Jul 2010
Who's that fella on your left?
Don't know. I can't see his bloody face.
Stop whispering behind the Queen's back. If I can hear you SHE can!
By Lady Godiva at 17:26 13 Jul 2010
Damn! I'd forgottten it was BLUE shirt day.
Don't worry, yours looks a bit bluish.
Thats coz he washes whites and colours together.
By Lady Godiva at 17:27 13 Jul 2010
Who are those two women? Either of you know?
Not sure. I think I've seen the pair of them before though.
They were dragged in off the street to add a little colour to the photo.
By Lady Godiva at 17:29 13 Jul 2010
Should we all sing the National Anthem?
I'm thinking more along the lines of America the Beautiful.
Wasn't Independence Day last week?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 17:37 13 Jul 2010
The Queen and Laura Bush are really checking out the Doctor.
That's not a doctor; he's really a flasher with a 15" willie!
Maybe I should have worn pants under this lab coat.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 17:39 13 Jul 2010
Doesn't look like HRH washed her neck today does it?
Nah! That're why she's got that pearl thingy on.
Will you two give the old woman a break. She can't lift her arms these days .
By Lady Godiva at 18:09 13 Jul 2010
I wonder why she won't step down and let Charlie take over.
Hell's bells, look at the mess he made of his marriage.
I agree. What kind of mess do you think he'd make of England?
By Lady Godiva at 18:11 13 Jul 2010
Are we English or American by the way?
I don't know but I THINK we're American. I've seen that guy at the front before
It doesn't matter. It all depends on the reader's accent I would think.
By Lady Godiva at 18:13 13 Jul 2010
I'm a bit blurry aren't I? I'm not too pleased about that.
Well I'm not so 'clear' myself. Shall we switch places with those two women?
You should have got here earlier then and you be 'clear' like me. Ha ha ha.
By Lady Godiva at 18:16 13 Jul 2010
I'm goint to 'Photoshop' this when I get a copy of it.
Me too, and put some better looking women on.
You'll both be in big trouble if you tamper with Government property.
By Lady Godiva at 18:18 13 Jul 2010
Why does the Queen ALWAYS wear bloody hats.
To cover her bald spot you idiot.
Oh my God! Do you two EVER shut up. Not YOU M'am. I mean the guys behind us.
By Lady Godiva at 18:21 13 Jul 2010
I suppose we have to stop with the Nazi and Italian jokes now?
Yeah, that was last week.
You mean I can't ask who wants an Italian Sausage or Der Weiner?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 18:21 13 Jul 2010
I never believed that such famous people had sex addictions.
Yes, the Queen is here to visit her son Charles.
And Mrs. Bush is here to visit both of the twins.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 18:23 13 Jul 2010
I wish I'd been the Right guy.
You're the Right guy to ME. I'll ALWAYS be the Middle guy!
Yes! It depends on how you look at it. Strange that.
By Lady Godiva at 18:24 13 Jul 2010
Come on. You can say it!
Even the Queen is pulling for him.
That's it! new-cue-lar! Not knuckler. That's a baseball pitcher.
By Bureau at 18:24 13 Jul 2010
Has anyone ever told the Queen that her hats look stupid?
She's got more of them than Imelda Marcos had shoes.
She's probably covering up a bad spot.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 18:25 13 Jul 2010
Wow, I can see what I'm saying!
Me too!
I think someone's putting words in my mouth!
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 18:27 13 Jul 2010
I bet that guy next to you will be mad when he gets HIS copy of this photo.
Yup! Laura shouldn't have moved her bloody head.
That's OK ! He's an ugly bugger anyway.
By Lady Godiva at 18:29 13 Jul 2010
The Queen and Laura must have Laryngitis.
What makes you say that?
Have you ever seen three men talk without interruption?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 18:29 13 Jul 2010
Isn't that Lady G. from The Spoof !
No it's that Throckmorton isn't it?
It depends who's typing you idiots. Cor blimey! Stupid sods you pair are.
By Lady Godiva at 18:31 13 Jul 2010
Why is the Queen Laura Bush's Maid of Honor at her new wedding?
Maybe it's her way of apologizing for Charles running off with Dubya.
Will we really have secret service agents on our Honeymoon?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 18:47 13 Jul 2010
I think that blue dress makes the queen's ass look fat.
Ah, the queen's ass is fat.
Ignore them your majesty, they're French.
By Abel Rodriguez at 18:54 13 Jul 2010
Who the hell sat on the queen's hat?
I think it was Georgy Bush.
Cheney sat on the friggin was Dick Cheney.
By Abel Rodriguez at 18:56 13 Jul 2010
Ya know Lizzy don't look half bad from the back.
Are you kiddin' me?
Shut up oafs, she's old as hell, but she can still hear.
By Abel Rodriguez at 18:59 13 Jul 2010
Does Laura Bush look to you like she's wearing extra lipstick?
That is a really wide grin she's got.
Help, the Joker just put a gun in my back.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 20:27 13 Jul 2010
Why is he ducking like that?
He did it when the Queen bent over.
I think he was afraid that she was going after one of her shoes.
By Bureau at 20:32 13 Jul 2010
Who's that lady in the funny hat and wearing blue with Laura Bush?
She's too skinny to be her mother in law, Barbara Bush.
Don't look, but she's so old her tits have sagged to her shoes.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 20:38 13 Jul 2010
He seems to be ducking.
He did that after the Queen was looking at her foot too.
I think he's afraid she is going to throw a shoe at him.
By Bureau at 20:40 13 Jul 2010
I wonder what happened to their husbands.
Someone said they went to a titty bar, but why?
Would you want to see either of these women naked?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 20:42 13 Jul 2010
Is he having a fit?
No, he fell out of the elevator door.
I think he tripped over his cell phone.
By Bureau at 20:44 13 Jul 2010
D'you want to switch places?
Not with YOU but with the woman in red.
Look! Can't you be without me for a few minutes? You are sex mad.
By Lady Godiva at 21:13 13 Jul 2010
Are you REALLY a medic?
Well I have a medicine cabinet at home. Does THAT count?
No you moron. I'm telling on you after this . You need training!
By Lady Godiva at 21:16 13 Jul 2010
I'm not really a medic. I'm an 'extra' hired just for this.
Yes. We ALL are. The doctors are all on strike.
True. They couldn't bring The Queen and Laura to a hospital without doctors.
By Lady Godiva at 21:18 13 Jul 2010
Do we get to keep these white coats when we're finished here.
Well I suppose so. They've embroidered our names on them.
True. I don't know anyone else but me called Throckmorton Turdbottom.
By Lady Godiva at 21:20 13 Jul 2010
I hope we're not here long. Corrie's on in 30 minutes.
I know. I just love that Sean character. He's gay in real life you know.
I DO know. I've been out with him a few times. Jealous now aren't you?
By Lady Godiva at 21:22 13 Jul 2010
I didn't realize the Queen was so short.
Me neither - and she's wearing 6 inch stilletoes. Is that how you spell it?
No it's " I - T". Anyway why didn't you just say 'heels'? Show-off!
By Lady Godiva at 21:55 13 Jul 2010
Now the world will never know the identity of the man behind Laura
He could know the truth behind the Kennedy assassination.
No, he's really the guy with the truth about Obama's birth certificate.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 21:57 13 Jul 2010
Look at the weird smile on Laura Bush's face.
Her mouth is so wide, she could be the Joker.
No, she's just another Stepford wife.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 21:58 13 Jul 2010
Everyone's trying to guess who that guy is behind Laura's head.
I'm sneaking a look at him. Kinda a 'side-ways' glance you might say.
Describe him to me because I can't turn around. I've got a stiff neck.
By Lady Godiva at 22:04 13 Jul 2010
I really thought we'd miss Adolf and Mussi. Didn't you?
Yes. But they say 'a change is as good as a rest' don't they?
Not much 'rest' with THREE of us prattling on now though.
By Lady Godiva at 22:13 13 Jul 2010
Is that bird poop on top of Liz's hat?
Don't be so rude. It's the Queen. You can't call her 'Liz'.
He's right! She prefers Betty!
By Lady Godiva at 22:15 13 Jul 2010
The Queen is covering her bald spot again.
I think she's here at the clinic to refill her Rogaine prescription.
Shhhhh... that's a state secret.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 22:27 13 Jul 2010
I understand that the Queen is here to cover her bald spot with implants
Is it true Mrs. Bush is here for breast implants?
No, you wouldn't want three big boobs in her house.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 22:28 13 Jul 2010
The Queen told Laura she had a treasure.
I heard her. She stated that she had Charles and his ears.
Who's HE got? Oh yeah, Blair.
By Bureau at 22:48 13 Jul 2010
They've been there ages...
I know, poor dears...
There's one due in two minutes, Your Majesty.
By Monkey Woods at 01:33 14 Jul 2010
Just look at that big, blue hat!
...and that ladder in her tights!
Take no notice of them, Your Majesty.
By Monkey Woods at 01:36 14 Jul 2010
Hey! Watch it matey. Did you just say there`s one Jew in 2 minutes
Oh god! You`ve lost your question mark again haven`t you
You need bloody talk! Where`s yours.
By Lady Godiva at 02:30 14 Jul 2010
Did you just say there`s one Jew in 2 minutes
Oh hell! You`ve lost your bloody question mark again haven`t you
Your`re a right one to talk aren`t you. Christ , mines gone too.
By Lady Godiva at 02:32 14 Jul 2010
Don`t you think it`s about time Lady Godiva got her keyboard sorted out
She said there was no info. in the manual that came with her laptop.
Poor woman. She definitely needs help. And fast!
By Lady Godiva at 02:34 14 Jul 2010
That Throckmorton fella seems to be enjoying himself lately.
Well, he doesn`t get out much from what I`ve heard.
I don`t mind - as long as he keeps putting words in our mouths.
By Lady Godiva at 02:37 14 Jul 2010
Do you think the Queen is shrinking (insert question mark).
No you idiot, we`re standing on a bleeding platform.
So is she you idiot. The same one we are standing on. She IS shrinking.
By Lady Godiva at 02:38 14 Jul 2010
Hasn't everyone seen doctors and nurses do that?
I guess not!
I'm their supervisor and they didn't tell me.
By Philbert of Macadamia at 02:43 14 Jul 2010
Did I just hear and smell a Royal Fart
You did indeed. So did I. She usually blames her corgies.
Well she can`t do that today. No dogs are allowed in here. Bet she blames Laura
By Lady Godiva at 03:02 14 Jul 2010
Hey! Right guy....are you going down the pub after this.
This conversation is confusing but I think the answer is YES!
Yes I am. Are you going to be joining us Middle guy.
By Lady Godiva at 03:04 14 Jul 2010
The Queen looks a bit like Lady G.`s mother
Oh yeah! If that`s true I`ll eat the Queen`s hat.
Start chomping down Middle guy. I`ve seen Lady G`s mother and Left guy is right
By Lady Godiva at 04:23 14 Jul 2010
Hell, that hat is as wide as the Queen`s shoulders when you look at it.
It`s still the same when you DON`T look at it.
Shut up! Here comes Pee Wee Herman. I`ve been waiting to meet him for ages.
By Lady Godiva at 04:26 14 Jul 2010
Are you REALLY a medic or do you just play one in real life.
That`s for me to KNOW and YOU to find out.
What kinda dumb assed answer is that. You must be in the CIA
By Lady Godiva at 04:28 14 Jul 2010
Are you really a medic Middle guy.
No, I just play one in real life.
Left gujy, I`ve seen Middle guy before and he`s an undercover CIA agent.
By Lady Godiva at 04:30 14 Jul 2010
Why the hell is Laura Bush grinning like that.
I haven`t a bleeding clue.
I have. She`s holding know what. Do I have to spell it out.
By Lady Godiva at 04:31 14 Jul 2010
Do you think Queen Liz should have a facelift.
Don`t be cruel. She`s already had four.
Shit! She should have that plastic surgeon executed.
By Lady Godiva at 04:34 14 Jul 2010
What do you think that is on the Queen`s left shoulder.
Looks like one of Mussolini`s medals to me.
It IS. Adolf got them after Mussi. died and gave them out to his close friends.
By Lady Godiva at 04:37 14 Jul 2010
That Laura sure looks a bit dozy.
Hell...she`s married to George W. That should be a clue.
I hear she has an IQ of 74-which is equal to George W`s. So they`re well matched
By Lady Godiva at 04:40 14 Jul 2010
Why isn`t Laura wearing a hat like the Queen is.
Have you ever been to an American wedding. They don`t even wear hats there.
I know. They dress like they`re at a bloody funeral. Drab lot they are.
By Lady Godiva at 04:42 14 Jul 2010
The buttons on Laura`s jacket are huge.
That`s because she has a problem with fine motor skills.
True! I heard she`s just crashed her 4th Merecedes.
By Lady Godiva at 04:44 14 Jul 2010
It`s just dawned on me why Mark chose this picture for the Caption Competition.
Oh yes. May I ask why (he asks, knowing the answer already..)
Because he just loves messing with our minds. But then you already knew that.
By Lady Godiva at 04:48 14 Jul 2010
Do you think those two are wearing clean knickers.
I haven`t a clue and I don`t really care.
How do you know whether or not they are WEARING knickers.
By Lady Godiva at 04:50 14 Jul 2010
That guy behind you is giving you funny looks.
He`s grabbing my arse as well.
Give him to me when he`s finished with you. He`s pretty cute.
By Lady Godiva at 04:52 14 Jul 2010
Testing! Testing ???? ?????? ??????? ??????
What are you testing Left guy?
Any moron could answer that. Lady G's question marks. Oh hell...I'm a moron.
By Lady Godiva at 05:17 14 Jul 2010
What shade of lipstick do you think the Queen is wearing?
Looks like the same shade Queen Mudder wears...y'know..that Spoof writer.
I disagree.I think it's closer to the shade Mark L. wears.His tastes good too.
By Lady Godiva at 05:24 14 Jul 2010
How long do you think we've been here Middle guy?
Feels like Yonks.
Wow! THERE'S a"blast from the past" if EVER I heard one Middle guy. Good one.
By Lady Godiva at 05:27 14 Jul 2010
What's that guy on your left muttering, Middle guy?
Something about the Second Coming I believe.
Not SEX again. You're freaking nymphos. the pair of you. Sorry Queen and Laura
By Lady Godiva at 05:30 14 Jul 2010
I think he's flipped.
He just called the Queen, Sir.
Then he said that Laura was slowly turning into The Joker!
By Bureau at 13:55 14 Jul 2010
Why's he trembling like that?
No idea
With a Scots terrier humping one leg and a corgi the other you'd tremble too
By Lynton at 14:27 14 Jul 2010
Why can't this bubble be the Queen's?
Why can't this bubble be Laura's?
Don't ask me I'm just having a piss
By Lynton at 14:29 14 Jul 2010
Oh God no he isn't is he!?
He bloody well is!
..And this ladies is how we make donations to the sperm bank
By Lynton at 14:35 14 Jul 2010
The Queen has a funny expression on her face.
She probably needs a laxative again.
Laura doesn't; she just shit on my shoe.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:37 14 Jul 2010
I sure hope that Dubya's plastic surgery went okay.
Laura said that he wanted to look like a movie star.
But he's already "Goofy!"
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:40 14 Jul 2010
I sure hope that Prince Charles plastic surgery went okay.
I understand that he is having his ears made smaller.
If they cut off half, they'll still look like Dumbo.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:41 14 Jul 2010
There sure are a lot of celebrities here for Obama's surgery.
What do you expect from such a popular President?
He's finally having his head surgically removed from his ass.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:42 14 Jul 2010
Wow, a lot of important people are here for Oprah's surgery.
Oprah? I thought they were operating on King Kong!
What? That wasn't a dog? I'm a veterinarian.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:45 14 Jul 2010
I hear Laura's here to get her pet to stop chasing cars.
She's afraid that he might get run over when he bites a tire.
Poor George sure is taking his retirement hard.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:46 14 Jul 2010
Is that George Burns in drag, or is it the Queen?
Is that Heath Ledger in drag, or is it Laura Bush?
I think Rosie O'Donnell's always in drag.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:48 14 Jul 2010
I'm not really a doctor; I just wear labcoats to pick up girls.
I'm not really a doctor; I don't wear pants and flash people.
I'm not really a doctor; I just play one in caption competitions.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:49 14 Jul 2010
I notice the Queen is wearing a nice strand of pearls.
What's that around Laura's neck?
It's a dog collar. She and George are into B&D.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:55 14 Jul 2010
How come I always have to go first?
How come I never get to deliver the punch line?
I think I need to hire a couple of new straight men.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:57 14 Jul 2010
The older the Queen gets, the more she looks like George Gobel
The more make-up Laura uses, the more she looks like the Joker.
The longer I stand here, the more I need to pee.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:07 14 Jul 2010
Yeah, not bad for an old queen
Get a load of the bum on the mum
I'm not gonna look. You guys are gonna make me pee my pants.
By Charpa93 at 15:26 14 Jul 2010
The Queen is wearing purple because it's a royal colour.
Bush is wearing red because it is a conservative state colour.
I'm wearing white because I'm a virgin.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:49 14 Jul 2010
I think I just saw the Queen move.
No she didn't. It's just your imagination.
It can't bed. He hasn't got one.
By Lady Godiva at 17:15 14 Jul 2010
I wonder what photo Mark will put up next.
I was just thinking the same thing.
Me too. Probably coz the same person is writing in our bubbles.
By Lady Godiva at 17:18 14 Jul 2010
If the Queen is wearing white because it is the royal colour...
...and Mrs. Bush is in red because she's from a conservative state
...which one of us is the bride?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 18:09 14 Jul 2010
Are we still here?
It's only been two days so far.
Yeah, but people are running out of funny stuff for us to say.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 01:53 15 Jul 2010
The Joker's sex op seems to have gone okay
Yep, but cat woman's let herself go
I think Batman has fallen in your trap, Miss Joker
By IainB at 06:42 15 Jul 2010
Is it wrong of me to think Liz has a nice arse?
Nope, you're right
She's got an ugly Bush in front of her though
By IainB at 06:43 15 Jul 2010
Who would have thought the Queen and Laura Bush would appear in Casualty?
I know! I had Prince Charles and Michael Jackson in the sweepstake
This isn't Casualty, numbnuts, it's Animal Hospital and we're waiting for Rolf
By IainB at 06:52 15 Jul 2010
Before 'Right guy' when you mentioned the Queen had an ugly bush in front of her
I know what you are going to say Right guy....were you being 'inappropriate' ?
I meant LAURA. Get your bloody minds out of the gutter will you.
By Lady Godiva at 13:00 15 Jul 2010
Not many readers click the red LIKIE button do they?
Most don't know it's there or don't know what to do with it.
Readers! If you 'like' a set of on the red Like button below.
By Lady Godiva at 13:04 15 Jul 2010
Do you think readers will click the LIKE button now?
Only if they SEE it.
And only if they LIKE what they read. Sigh! Onwards and upwards guys!
By Lady Godiva at 13:06 15 Jul 2010
Isn't it funny the way women throw themselves at Doctors?
They think that marrying an M.D. puts them on easy street forever.
Yeah, but I prefer the 21 year old babes, not these old buzzards.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:03 15 Jul 2010
Are these old battle axes here for face lifts or tummy tucks?
They could be here for the boob jobs.
No, they are both in governments full of boobs.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:06 15 Jul 2010
Wow, new patients here at the Moorview Institute
I wonder what they've done to be considered criminally insane?
Their actions running their governments were both.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:34 15 Jul 2010
Look, it's visitors day at the Moorview Institute!
Those two should be safe with their security patrols.
Yeah, but Dangerous Deano would still beat them up.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:36 15 Jul 2010
Wow, more visitors at the Moorview Institute.
SFO will probably think they are here to see him.
Yeah, we're treating him for center of the universe syndrome
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:38 15 Jul 2010
Looks like these Moorview Insitute patients are awaiting visits
One thinks she's the Queen, the other thinks she's the First Lady.
Don't they know Queen Mudder is first lady and queen here?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:40 15 Jul 2010
I thought they quite writing the Moorview series months ago?
Yeah, but it kinda works for this caption competition.
... and this whole website is still a nuthouse anyways.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:41 15 Jul 2010
Is it true these women want a shared sexual experience?
Yes, but I hope it isn't something Lesbian.
Nope, they both want to get laid by the Pissgums.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:43 15 Jul 2010
Why did they bring these two to the Moorview Institute?
The one in purple thinks everyone should bow down and worship her.
Oh.... she thinks she's Dean West?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:44 15 Jul 2010
Why is the one in red at the Moorview Institute?
Someone said she thinks she's the First Lady.
No, she believes her husband was a real National Guard Pilot.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:46 15 Jul 2010
I wish this cafeteria line would move; I'm hungry.
I hear that they Texas patients requested a regional entree.
Yep, we're eating BBQ Chupacabra steaks and drinking Lone Star.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:48 15 Jul 2010
We sure get a lot of strange patients at the Moorview.
Yep, and these two are actually stranger than most.
I never imagined that there were two women who lusted for Lowton
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:50 15 Jul 2010
Is it true that Mark Lowton has the hots for these ladies?
Yes, be careful or your hands might stick to the monitor.
I understand that he photoshopped them both without bottoms.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:51 15 Jul 2010
Jesus Budda actually got two visitors?
I know, nobody has visited him at Moorview for years.
I think they are here for his naked Twister and Jenga tournaments.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:53 15 Jul 2010
Why is the lady in purple here at the Moorview Institute?
Someone said that she thinks she's Queen of England.
No, it's because she thinks she's more popular than Princess Di.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:59 15 Jul 2010
Too bad that Dr. Tryhol isn't here when discussing the Moorview.
Yes, he was mainly responsible for our existence as a nuthouse.
Yeah, but he'd fill this up with penis jokes.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:00 15 Jul 2010
I hear the owner and chief nut is trying to escape Moorview.
Yes, they think that he's dressed as one of these two visitors.
I'm not frisking them to find out which one is Mark Lowton.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:11 15 Jul 2010
These two ladies both requested to be strip searched before entering.
What are they trying to sneak into Moorview?
I vote we let Bargis do the body cavity search.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:13 15 Jul 2010
Do you think Susan Boyle will talk to US?
No chance! She's here to receive her Dameship or whatever it's called.
Well, Mooreview,s the right place for her then
By Lady Godiva at 16:26 15 Jul 2010
Isn't that Lady G. from The Spoof !
Yes, she's in charge of Mooreview now. Didn't you read the Memo?
She'll do a good job here. She understands nutcases coz SHE is one.
By Lady Godiva at 16:28 15 Jul 2010
I heard Lady G. enjoys strip poker. Is that right?
You need your hearing checked..she likes 'tripping' people with a poker.
Yes. She has a masochistic streak in her. That's no lie.
By Lady Godiva at 16:30 15 Jul 2010
Is Turdblossom his real name?
We'll know when he takes his pants off.
I heard he made the name up for a bet. But - 'the truth will out' very soon.
By Lady Godiva at 16:32 15 Jul 2010
Oh! We are not amused!
Well, would you be if you saw The Elephant Man naked?
I didn't know he had THREE legs.
By Lady Godiva at 16:33 15 Jul 2010
I still say the Queen's outfit is deep blue.
I still say it's a purplish colour.
And I keep telling you both - it depends on your monitor.
By Lady Godiva at 16:35 15 Jul 2010
By Lady Godiva at 16:36 15 Jul 2010
By Lady Godiva at 16:36 15 Jul 2010
to me.
By Lady Godiva at 17:09 15 Jul 2010
The Queen does 'smell old' doesn't she? Just like my gran's house.
Don't be so rude. That's the mothballs they wrap her in everynight.
Are you sure it's not embalming fluid?
By Lady Godiva at 17:12 15 Jul 2010
Made you look. Made you look.
Laura Bush did not just pinch Dr. Handsome's ass.
Maybe if I move a little closer, just maybe I can cop a feel with my elbow.
By Charpa93 at 17:47 15 Jul 2010
Yeah, cheap old bird she is. Hardly ever buys them new.
The Queen has a hideous run in her stocking.
Pity. With a new Wal-Mart just opened across the street from Buckingham Palace.
By Charpa93 at 17:54 15 Jul 2010
We sure are dressing the patients up nicer at Moorview.
It's better than the orange jumpsuits or the striped ones.
Yeah, but they still get scratchy burlap underwear.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 18:45 15 Jul 2010
I got D's in medical school, so I ended up here at Moorview.
I accidentally killed 2 patients when I was a resident.
I'm here because I'm not a doctor, but a patient who wants to be one.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 18:46 15 Jul 2010
So, which of those three is really Dean West?
I'd look for the one with the cars on his fists or the brandy breathe.
How dare you insult me! I'll one star all your stories now!
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 18:48 15 Jul 2010
I understand that Buck E. Filbert is now a patient at Moorview.
Yes, he's the one that always starts and end things he says with...
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 18:58 15 Jul 2010
Wow, they've got Skoob as a patient at Moorview Institute now?
Yeah, it's all because of an inferiority complex.
Must be embarrassing to have the world's smallest penis.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 18:59 15 Jul 2010
When are they bringing Abel Rodriguez into Moorview.
I understand he'll be on the next bus. Why is he coming here?
He's terrified of mythical chupacabra attacks.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 19:01 15 Jul 2010
They say Frankie the J. keeps showing people his teeth.
He also keeps grabbing nurses on the behind.
I'm just afraid he'll tell the little boys he's a Monsignor.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 19:02 15 Jul 2010
How long will he keep at it?
He looks tired.
Stuck on the escalator. I never would have believed it.
By Bureau at 20:47 15 Jul 2010
He's still stuck on the escalator?
Yeah. He refuses to ask for help.
Just keeps saying, "Stay the course!"
By Bureau at 20:51 15 Jul 2010
We really don't share a group mind and can't mind meld.
I don't know why some people think we should all say the same thing.
Crap! We think we left the window open and the iron plugged in.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 00:44 16 Jul 2010
Hey Diddle Diddle
You really don't expect me to continue a nursery rhyme?
No, he's just talking about playing with himself again.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 00:44 16 Jul 2010
Chelsea Clinton doesn't look to bad with her bridal veil on her face.
I wonder why she's having her wedding at an insane asylum?
Are you kidding? Any guy that would marry her belongs here.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 00:51 16 Jul 2010
Chelsea Clinton is walking the aisle, but where's the Wedding March?
Yeah, what's that song they are playing instead?
Mr. Ed's theme; "A Horse is a Horse, Of Course, Of Course."
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 00:53 16 Jul 2010
Wow, I guess Chelsea Clinton's fiance took that old advice.
Which old advice?
He got the cow and the milk.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 00:56 16 Jul 2010
There's a lot of celebrities here for Chelsea Clinton's wedding.
Even the Queen and Laura Bush showed up in the reception line.
Chelsea Clinton's Wedding! I thought this was a petting zoo.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 00:57 16 Jul 2010
What are all those balloons and confetti for?
Dick Cheney just got his 1000th heart operation.
Waste of bionic technology, and balloons, if you ask me.
By Charpa93 at 03:54 16 Jul 2010
Are these the new signings for Chelsea and Manchester United?
Yes, Windsor is a defender and Bush is an attacker
You won't win anything with pensioners
By IainB at 10:16 16 Jul 2010
Why is he down on his all-fours?
Ate a pretzel by mistake. Had chocolate on it.
Looks like a dog after eating bad road kill!
By Bureau at 13:10 16 Jul 2010
Is that Al Gore?
I'm afraid so.
And he's oggling Ms. Bush, the Queen, even us.
By Bureau at 13:11 16 Jul 2010
Now he's cleaning his shoes on the mat again.
He's just making sure.
Stepped right into some royal dogshit outside.
By Bureau at 13:13 16 Jul 2010
He's seven foot tall!
Elevator shoes. Trying to impress the Queen?
Yes, now he's gone down to five foot three. Guess they work both ways.
By Bureau at 13:16 16 Jul 2010
He's forgotten to zip up.
Trying to show off!
Trying to show off What?
By Bureau at 13:22 16 Jul 2010
Here comes the bride!
Chelsea Clinton doesn't look bad is she keeps her veil on her face.
Everyone get their Milk Bone Dog Biscuits ready to throw.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:10 16 Jul 2010
I gave Chelsea Clinton and her new husband chew toys as gifts.
The Queen gave her a new diamond studded collar and tags.
Mrs. Bush got her a guide to which states bestiality is legal.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:13 16 Jul 2010
Do you know all the words to " God Save The Queen?"
I don't believe in god. I believe in 'good', that's god with an extra 'o'.
Bloody hell, don't start all that up again Middle guy. You know what he means.
By Lady Godiva at 18:15 16 Jul 2010
Do you see what I see?
I doubt it - we're looking in different directions.
OK. Let's play '| spy with my little eye'. None of us will ever win. Ha Ha.
By Lady Godiva at 18:16 16 Jul 2010
Will one of you lend the Queen one of your bubbles for a minute.
She's not getting mine. Think of the spread of bacteria.
I'll lend her mine in a minute. I'm running out of ideas.
By Lady Godiva at 18:18 16 Jul 2010
I seem to be talking 'off the top of my head".
Me too! Well, off the left side of my head that is.
Well it looks like I''ve had my voice box removed...look where MY bubble points.
By Lady Godiva at 18:20 16 Jul 2010
"Wo, bad timing bro, just as he is humping his new secretary over the desk man!"
"Holy cow, I never knew Jenkins was that well hung, what a beauty!"
"The little bitch, she was supposed to be getting laid by me later tonight!!"
By Herrdoktorfox at 20:19 16 Jul 2010
I hear the chick in the red coat gives great head?
You better believe it Hank, I hear she's 'swallowed' most of the White House.
Jeez, I'm starting to get an erection just thinking about Laura blowing me.
By Herrdoktorfox at 20:58 16 Jul 2010
Where Chelsea and her hubby are going for the honeymoon?
Devil's Island? Dog Canyon? The Horse Head Nebula?
The Petting Zoo? The Bermuda Triangle? The Wild Animal Park?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:02 17 Jul 2010
I wonder if the new couple will do a dollar dance at the reception?
You think someone would pay to dance with Chelsea Clinton?
People will only pay to dance with her if she keeps the veil on.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:03 17 Jul 2010
I wonder if the Chelsea Clinton wedding will be a reality show?
You mean like a celebrity bride show?
How about "Livestock of the Rich and Famous?"
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:05 17 Jul 2010
Now he has frog feet on. Says he was told it would impress the Queen.
Looks like he's fallen a few times on the way over.
Cheney probably laughing himself into another heart attack.
By Bureau at 18:47 17 Jul 2010
I hate waiting in airport baggage claim for your luggage.
I wonder what kind of baggage the Queen and Laura have.
Charles and Dubya.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 22:11 17 Jul 2010
Hey, that's the back of the elevator.
That door won't open.
Well, there he goes up again....and now back down. I think he waved.
By Bureau at 00:18 18 Jul 2010
Not much going on with the Caption Comp. lately
Wonder why that is! Anyone know?
Someone mentioned the British Open-but I doubt many Spoofers will be watching it
By Lady Godiva at 14:51 18 Jul 2010
What or who is Dubya?
Are you thick or what?
Well, to be honest, I was going to ask the same question but felt a bit foolish.
By Lady Godiva at 14:52 18 Jul 2010
Do you think we'll all get a free massage when the photo changes?
I bloody well hope so. I'm as stiff as a board.
Sex, sex, sex -that's all YOU think about. Disgusting!
By Lady Godiva at 14:54 18 Jul 2010
I feel like a pizza.
With that acne, you look like a pizza.
Well at lease HE's got a bigger.....................nose than you.
By Lady Godiva at 14:56 18 Jul 2010
There's one think I hate about these bubble things.
I think I know what you are about to say. They can't be edited once the Create
button is pressed. Also, sometimes you haven't enough space to finish what you
By Lady Godiva at 14:58 18 Jul 2010
I think we are supposed to be saying funny things about Liz and Laura
Who gives a flying..........thingy. I'm running out of ideas.
Well you'd better think of some if you want the points....and quickly....
By Lady Godiva at 15:00 18 Jul 2010
'The hills are alive with the sound of
Where's Mark when you need him?
Probably sorting out the 'update' whatchemecallit. He'll get back to us soon.
By Lady Godiva at 15:03 18 Jul 2010
Ahem! Ma'am...Your Royal Highness....your slip is showing!
Ssh! That's not her slip, it's the trim on her knickers...
How do YOU know? Narna narna na nar na!!
By Lady Godiva at 15:05 18 Jul 2010
Why are we standing here?
We're watching to see if Dubya will get on the escalator.
Someone find a Las Vegas bookie. I'm betting against him.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:47 18 Jul 2010
Have you read The Isle of Wight News this week.
Yes. Did you read the bit about the new Pound Shop in Newby.
Oh. Hold me back!
By Lady Godiva at 21:24 18 Jul 2010
Read any good books lately?
Me neither!
By Lady Godiva at 21:25 18 Jul 2010
What does The Spoof have that the Tabloids don't?
I give up. What?
I know! Bloody marvellous writers with talent and a few scruples left.
By Lady Godiva at 22:39 18 Jul 2010
Do you think Mark will change us in the morning to something else?
I'm looking forward to not staring at the Queen's ass.
I'm tired of Laura Bush making eyes at me and grabbing my ass.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 02:45 19 Jul 2010
I'm kinda hoping to leave here soon. I have a wedding to go to. MY OWN!
I know what you mean. I have a new garage to build.
Stop should feel honoured that Mark chose us.
By Lady Godiva at 03:10 19 Jul 2010
Wow, it looks like some old guy is coming up next.
It's Einstein and I'll bet the Queen wishes she'd have gotten him.
Laura is happy the U.S. did. E=mc2 is one thing Dubya can spell.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 18:18 06 Aug 2010
Does he know his flies are open
No, but queeny lady has sure as hell noticed
What are they looking at?
By Xavier at 21:21 06 Aug 2010
Nice legs
Nice Ass
Who's hand is touching my leg?
By Xavier at 07:16 08 Aug 2010
You'd think they'd never seen a streaker before.
'bout the only thing that's put a smile on Laura's face
Hmm, wait till I get mine out.
By Xavier at 07:18 08 Aug 2010
You think she has never watched a vasectomy before.
No, the old codger she's shacked up with never needed on.
No and if Laura doesn't let go of my manhood I won't need one either!
By Xavier at 22:12 09 Aug 2010
(she wants me, I know it, yeah, she want's me)
I don't care I would tap that!!
Mr. Mussolini, Mr. Hitler, this is the Queen of England & Mrs. Laura Bush.
By OIF2Sniper at 19:47 05 Sep 2010
Just think if the Queen owned laura, She would be the Queens Bush.
Hey check out the hot blonde in pink below this picture.
(Just don't drop that shit Rodney, please don't drop that shit.")
By OIF2Sniper at 19:51 05 Sep 2010
I heard that the UK monarchy are pervs
Yeah seems that way
Coma on guys she ain't had any for over 60 years
By Kazytc at 19:31 23 Sep 2010
Wonder which one is going in for shock treament first?
Well the old gal from the UK needs it most
I'm not looking forward to giving it to her either!
By Kazytc at 13:14 25 Sep 2010
Is that Hatti Jaques then?
Who her in the bucket hat?
I'm not with these guys they don't know senile old queen's when they see them!
By Kazytc at 13:16 25 Sep 2010
Is that the one who applied for a poverty grant in the UK?
Who, the one in the Oxfam clothing and bucket hat?
Yeah and I am looking away cos she pongs as well.
By Kazytc at 13:18 25 Sep 2010
Reckon that one in the blue hat fancies him
Heaven forbid Laura is the sexier of the old grannies
Its alright for you at the back they have lined me up for an audience with them
By Kazytc at 13:20 25 Sep 2010
Do they call it Royal Blue because the Queen always wears it?
I'm not sure. Personally it looks more like Midnight Blue to me.
Hmm, Mrs Bush. You said its been 15 years since your husband's last lobotomy?
By alexc at 14:21 25 Sep 2010
Look at them queuing up for sex
Yeah they must be desperate
They are only jealous 'cos we got here first, anyway Bush ain't that bad
By Kazytc at 18:48 26 Sep 2010
I wonder if they realise it's Prince Phillip
Another old twat isn't going to make much difference
Oh dear Prince Philip has taken the wrong door to the over 60s gynecology ward
By Zoltan Peppa at 20:27 23 Oct 2010
I cant believ they flew down from US to see the carnal remains of Princess Diana
Dead princess better than 2 living women in front.
*Can I move my right elbow*
By thehideous at 08:39 08 Nov 2010
Bloody typical, I say
Yes, if it was Graham Norton and not Elton John, no one would give a monkeys
So you've never seen a celebrity give birth before ma'am?
By Steddyeddy at 12:43 28 Mar 2011
The AIDS viruse deployment is complete your highness
Good, now run along and sell the chinks more opium.
It's a viagra overdose. I can have a shipment ready in the AM
By Aspartame Boy at 05:44 08 May 2011
I'm not going over there!
Nor I
It's a viagra overdose, Queeny. Get over it.
By Aspartame Boy at 06:04 08 May 2011
When I shook her hand it felt icy cold
I've heard she has no pulse
I'm keeping my thermal gloves on whether she likes it or not!
By Tommy Twinkle at 16:44 11 Jun 2011
Who'd have thought it - The Queen standing in a queue waiting for a bus.
The austerity measures are really beginning to bite
Here comes the bus. If she tries to push in then that hat becomes a frisbee.
By Tommy Twinkle at 17:04 11 Jun 2011
"I think she's confused?"
"Looking for her Butler?"
"Oh my God!, I'm wearing the same eyebrows as 'she' is!"
By Inchcock at 18:43 30 Oct 2011
"Do you think she's noticed us at the back?"
"Nae, probably thinks we're butlers!"
"Oh eck, I'm wearing the same eyebrows as the Queen, & they're 'Bushy' too"
By Inchcock at 18:47 30 Oct 2011
"Better be careful, we might catch nepotism from either of em!"
"Or maybe their wealth hopefully!"
"God, she's waiting to see Dr No now!"
By Inchcock at 18:50 30 Oct 2011
By DON at 22:14 21 Feb 2012
I'll have the one in the blue you have the one in the red
Oh come on! All you think about is Bush!
I apologise for my colleagues!
By HaveIGotNewsForYou at 19:04 26 Jul 2012
I'd love to get me a middle-aged man in a white coat!
I'd love me some old, saggy, and waspy threesome.
I really wish all of us didn't just think out loud.
By Butch32 at 00:55 29 Nov 2013
They always scream louder without anesthesia.
Such a grusome sight. Where's the barf bags?
Now watch the terror in his eyes as I amputate his foot.
By Dick Sheerer at 07:47 11 Jun 2015
I thought no one was supposed to talk unless spoken to when around the Queen.
Laura Bush is clueless. Look at her trying to flirt with that doctor.
Tell those assholes behind us to shut the fuck up. We can hear them!
By Al N. at 20:44 25 Dec 2016
I can't tell if the Queen is ogling that guy or watching Laura Bush ogle him.
I think it's a little of both.
I'm putting in for hazard pay.
By Al N. at 21:56 15 Mar 2017
Who's the one in the blue hat?
Dunno, she's been standing there practicing her curtsy for when she meets her.
I'm so nervous. I hope I don't wet myself when Camilla arrives.
By Tommy Twinkle at 20:08 08 Jul 2017
The Queen told Mrs Bush that they are leaving soon.
I know. She hasn't stopped smiling since.
Is she still looking at me?
By Al N. at 02:10 18 Dec 2017
Someone's left a horse outside.
She's the one, the lady in the blue hat.
She says the pay and display hospital car park is far too expensive
By Tommy Twinkle at 23:41 03 Aug 2018
That lady really looks like Queen Elizabeth! The other one looks familiar too.
I think its Rosalyn Carter.
Very funny everyone. You know it's Nancy Reagan.
By Al N. at 07:07 03 Nov 2018
I know it's disgusting.
She just farted.
And today was my day off.
By Butch at 00:00 02 Apr 2020

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