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Old Satire, Revisited

 
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By author at 00:00 1 Jan 2000
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William Pitt Napoleon
"I ordered meat balls, not a meat ball!"
"Twat"
By armfeetandtoe at 10:11 04 Nov 2011
"Are you sure theres a sixpence in this pudding?"
"Twat"
By armfeetandtoe at 10:12 04 Nov 2011
"Zo, zis is ein testicle zat vee vill be dizecting Nap"
"Mein ghot! he vos der big guy yar?"
By armfeetandtoe at 11:07 04 Nov 2011
You know what will happen if you eat this Boney?
Ze World will dop out of my bottom no?
By Lynton at 11:34 04 Nov 2011
Only you, you cunning Frenchman could breed a chicken with no legs!
Makes them easier to catch
By Lynton at 11:36 04 Nov 2011
She did, did she? Then what did you say?
I say not tonight Josephine, I got other things to do wiz my chopper
By Lynton at 11:41 04 Nov 2011
And what shall you have for afters Boney?
'Ow about the Maghreb Dessert?
By Lynton at 11:47 04 Nov 2011
Tough chicken!
I cannot get zis bone apart neither
By Lynton at 11:48 04 Nov 2011
Difficult to carve this up sir!
Just give it some Elba grease monsieur
By Lynton at 11:50 04 Nov 2011
Cadiz!
Cadizn't!
By Lynton at 11:52 04 Nov 2011
Have you met Horatio Nelson sir?
No, but when I do, I shall stick a great stone column up his cul!
By Lynton at 11:54 04 Nov 2011
They're from Scotland. They roll down from the mountains so I've been told.
Where's the egg - I can't find the egg!
By Tommy Twinkle at 12:51 04 Nov 2011
Ah, a delicious English faggot
Big chap wasn't he sir!
By Tommy Twinkle at 13:09 04 Nov 2011
Nappy, does this look like a basketball to you?
What ze hell is a basketball?
By Abel Rodriguez at 13:37 04 Nov 2011
One big piece for me.
And a little bitty piece for me.
By Abel Rodriguez at 13:38 04 Nov 2011
I say Leon old chap, this is one big McNugget.
Billy, my friend I totally agree.
By Abel Rodriguez at 13:39 04 Nov 2011
This is the strangest pizza I have ever seen.
Ditto Mr. Pitt. Ditto.
By Abel Rodriguez at 13:40 04 Nov 2011
Naps old boy, I said I wanted it cooked medium rare.
Forgive me sir. I'll do better next time.
By Abel Rodriguez at 13:42 04 Nov 2011
Looks like we'll be eating on this meat ball for days.
Well, so much for dessert.
By Abel Rodriguez at 13:46 04 Nov 2011
Biggest donut hole I've ever seen laddie.
Without a friggin doubt sir.
By Abel Rodriguez at 13:47 04 Nov 2011
It kinda reminds me of me first wife it does.
The one with the humongous ovaries?
By Abel Rodriguez at 13:49 04 Nov 2011
Nappy, old boy, I think I have found your missing watch.
And now I feel so bad about firing the maid.
By Abel Rodriguez at 13:52 04 Nov 2011
I do wish we had a side dish to go with this.
That makes two of us Mr. Pitt.
By Abel Rodriguez at 13:54 04 Nov 2011
This would make some wonderful tacos.
Excuse me sir, but what are tacos?
By Abel Rodriguez at 13:54 04 Nov 2011
I am definitely taking some of this home with me.
Me to. I'll ask the waitress for a "To Go" box.
By Abel Rodriguez at 13:56 04 Nov 2011
Aren't you glad we decided against eating Chinese.
Yes, yes, oh my yes!
By Abel Rodriguez at 13:57 04 Nov 2011
That sure is one big hat for a little fella.
Your mama Billy. Your mama!
By Abel Rodriguez at 13:58 04 Nov 2011
I do wish we had something to drink this down with.
Well, I did order two...Napoleon Brandies.
By Abel Rodriguez at 14:00 04 Nov 2011
What's for dessert? Yorkshire Pudding?
No, it's Creme Brulee.
By Abel Rodriguez at 14:02 04 Nov 2011
I do hope they bring us some chips and queso.
Chips I know, but what is queso?
By Abel Rodriguez at 14:03 04 Nov 2011
Leon are you wearing eye liner?
A little, and what is with the tons of rouge old boy?
By Abel Rodriguez at 14:04 04 Nov 2011
My tape worm is already yelling "Yeaaaaa."
Goodness Will, what do you have? A 16 inch waist?
By Abel Rodriguez at 14:06 04 Nov 2011
You've got real pretty epaulets Napoleon.
And you sir have a charming smile.
By Abel Rodriguez at 14:13 04 Nov 2011
"Ah, I see you have cut through Russia!"
"Mmm... probably a mistake on my part?"
By Inchcock at 09:52 05 Nov 2011
"Your not going to argue about Canada again are you?"
"I geese not!"
By Inchcock at 09:54 05 Nov 2011
I predict a debt crisis in 2011. And you, Napoleon?
Shut up and eat your piece!!! Damn, when will electricity come in?
By whatinthe world at 09:57 05 Nov 2011
"I'm not just hungry, I'm power-hungry!"
"Wee, me too!"
By Inchcock at 09:58 05 Nov 2011
Global politics is a pretty messy business. Um, needs more salt!
Trez bien, good sir!! I need a bigger share I'm afraid.
By whatinthe world at 10:01 05 Nov 2011
"You know there will come a time when Europe has an even more greedy leader!"
"Yes, I think he will cam er on the scene around 2010!"
By Inchcock at 10:02 05 Nov 2011
"Damn, I've got me fork stuck in America!"
"Fork in Hell!"
By Inchcock at 10:03 05 Nov 2011
"I've got me fork in America!"
"No need for bad language please!"
By Inchcock at 10:05 05 Nov 2011
"Blimey old thing, this cake of the world is burnt!"
"Yes, I told the Mrs, hot tonight Antoinette!"
By Inchcock at 10:09 05 Nov 2011
"This bit here is tasty!"
"It must have been French fried"
By Inchcock at 10:10 05 Nov 2011
So we're in a cartoon, are we Mr Napoleon?
Oui, Mr Pitt, and I don't have much time. I must win at Waterloo!
By whatinthe world at 10:24 05 Nov 2011
Right, I'll take this bit with all the fast-food outlets and the big cars
Bugger! I think I've just taken Greece.
By churchmouse at 10:48 05 Nov 2011
Onion bharji is very tasty, but it gives me the wind.
Ordered my crew to eat them when we were in the doldrums - soon had us moving!
By Tommy Twinkle at 11:41 05 Nov 2011
It says on the box 'feeds two'
What a swizzle! Shall I order some chips for us as well?
By Tommy Twinkle at 11:56 05 Nov 2011
"Nobody told me the Butchers fancy dress party had been cancelled"
"Twat"
By armfeetandtoe at 13:18 05 Nov 2011
This bit under Libya seems rather oily
I just poked me fork into Japan and sparks flew out!
By Tommy Twinkle at 13:33 05 Nov 2011
Eating out has its advantages I suppose
Well at least one doesn't have to tip those frightful chaps on their mopeds.
By Tommy Twinkle at 14:39 05 Nov 2011
Do you like English jacket potato young man?
Yes, it's about the only thing you English eat without smothering it in ketchup!
By Tommy Twinkle at 14:47 05 Nov 2011
I'm so hungry I could eat a horse
That's just as well Mr Pitt. This is France!
By Tommy Twinkle at 14:54 05 Nov 2011
You filthy French git, vous est ouideed una de fleur.
It wasn't me. That puddle on the floor was ouideed by your cat Monsieur!
By Tommy Twinkle at 15:57 05 Nov 2011
"Im Pit the twinkle in the milkmans eye"
"Oh, your the younger one then"
By armfeetandtoe at 20:28 05 Nov 2011
"Tute la mond et petite par?"
"Dont know mate, I'm from Essex"
By armfeetandtoe at 20:32 05 Nov 2011
Why are you carving so frantically? Plenty of time. Carve slowly, like so.
Josephine's to join us after her bingo - she has a gob like Blackwall Tunnell!
By Tommy Twinkle at 21:49 05 Nov 2011
We'd better not eat it all Mr Dettori, we're due in the paddock shortly.
Good advice Mr Murtagh. By the way, what d'you think of the new silks and hats?
By Tommy Twinkle at 22:05 05 Nov 2011
Difficult times alas. The austerity measures mean we'll have to share.
I hope the peasants realise it's not only them having to go without.
By Tommy Twinkle at 22:29 05 Nov 2011
Would you like me to summon a lifter upper?
No, I can land me bum on the chair with a little jump thank you.
By Tommy Twinkle at 22:44 05 Nov 2011
Might just be me, but does this smell a bit orf Mr Bonaparte?
It's just you Mr Pitt. Still, better out than in.
By Tommy Twinkle at 22:51 05 Nov 2011
I predict a time will come when people will kick a round thing about as a sport.
You Inglishe you are so crazee!!
By Tommy Twinkle at 22:58 05 Nov 2011
What shall we have for afters, the ice cream or the apple pie?
I'm going to have the apple pie. This will never fill my belly up.
By Tommy Twinkle at 00:35 06 Nov 2011
This is he last time I'm ordering the Dim-Sum...
Well don't blame me, it was your idea to come to Brobdingnag on holiday!
By I think I'm funny... at 08:05 06 Nov 2011
Food is so expensive nowadays"
"Yes, I think I'll start a common market!"
By Inchcock at 11:02 06 Nov 2011
"It's quaint in Versailles"
"Size! - why do you mention the size!!!"
By Inchcock at 11:08 06 Nov 2011
He pulled the wall down as he fell. Orange glows then seen were from his ciggy.
And Mr Dumpty was farting as he fell - hence the sounds of many explosions!
By Tommy Twinkle at 13:00 06 Nov 2011
I hear Josephine was was 'entertaining' the lads last night Nap?
You better believe it mon amie, zat girl can suck like ze Dyson non.
By stickitinthecurry at 14:53 06 Nov 2011
Do you know of Horatio Nelson Bono?
Non, but I like Horatio Cain and CSI:Miami
By SPUNKWAD at 17:51 06 Nov 2011
"Do you realise that your name anagrammed is "Pee on Pantaloon bra"? Ha ha!
"Do you realise that your name anagrammed is "Twit I am pill"? Ha ha ha!
By Inchcock at 05:57 07 Nov 2011
This onion bharji's going to give me the Napoleon Bonapartes all day
I fear it will give me the William Pitts all week!
By Tommy Twinkle at 09:01 07 Nov 2011
"I played your general at chess, and got the Frogs-pawn, ha ha, do you get it?"
"Go forth and multiply Pitt!"
By Inchcock at 07:34 08 Nov 2011
"Wait till they find out we have punctured their ball"
"Fuck the Germans"
By armfeetandtoe at 16:02 08 Nov 2011
"I want to be Frank with you Nap"
"Mon amie, Pansy I am not, therefore it is not the Frank I will be"
By armfeetandtoe at 16:07 08 Nov 2011
Why do you eat so much white meat Nap?
It 'elps with ze erections mon amie, Josephine 'ow you say, want's ze cock 24/7
By Herrdoktorfox at 16:47 08 Nov 2011
Be fair Nap this was a fucking good deal at LIDL, Tesco were charging double.
Tesco are pricks, I get my condoms at LIDL, as they sell the large ones cheaper.
By Herrdoktorfox at 16:54 08 Nov 2011
Are you and Josephine into dogging by any chance Nap?
Don't mention dogs to me, Josephines dog keeps shitting around the Palace.
By Herrdoktorfox at 16:56 08 Nov 2011
I'm told too much meat can stunt one's growth Nap.
Bit late for me Bill, I've been shagging Josephine nightly for fucking years!
By Herrdoktorfox at 18:32 09 Nov 2011
"Better than an artichoke globe"
"I am the architect of the globe! ooh I misheard?"
By Inchcock at 14:20 10 Nov 2011
"I wish it was as easy to carve up the world between us in reality!"
"Reality? Where is that then?"
By Inchcock at 08:35 11 Nov 2011
It's a horse's what?
It's called a hors d'oeuvre Monsieur.
By Tommy Twinkle at 12:18 11 Nov 2011
Mmm...Egypt is a bit too crunchy for my teeth.
Probably a pyramid
By Tommy Twinkle at 12:43 11 Nov 2011
My guts still feel queasy from that choppy channel journey over here to France
You should give that Eurostar train a try.
By Tommy Twinkle at 13:17 11 Nov 2011
What's for the main course?
Jupiter!
By Tommy Twinkle at 13:21 11 Nov 2011
Ah, so this is the actual apple he hit.
Yes, William Tell isn't such a brilliant aimer with his crossbow.
By Tommy Twinkle at 14:40 11 Nov 2011
You do know you are about to bite into India? That's very spicey
It's OK monsieur, If it get's too hot, I will surrender.
By Perks at 20:40 11 Nov 2011
Those chaps at the table behind me ordered the same as us, but it's different.
Pancake monsieur, they are from the Flat Earth Society.
By Tommy Twinkle at 14:28 12 Nov 2011
And just how will these French curried cannon balls defeat the British navy?
The cost of replacing uniforms monsieur. Curry stains are very hard to remove!
By Tommy Twinkle at 16:43 12 Nov 2011
Mmm....this French boule bread could have done with a little more salt.
And a lot less yeast!
By Tommy Twinkle at 17:05 12 Nov 2011
I'll see to it that the chef is thrown into a vat of boiling oil for this
I should think so too. The poles should have icing sugar on them!
By Tommy Twinkle at 17:15 12 Nov 2011
Short chappy aren't you - there's a playground nearby if you'd like to go there.
Wow! Does it have a see-saw and a slide?
By Tommy Twinkle at 17:36 12 Nov 2011
Have you ever sucked a mans cock and swallowed his juice Boney?
Why do you ask mon amie, do you want me to blow you because I am a short arse?
By cremedemeth at 19:26 12 Nov 2011
Ah, I do smell the stinking French defeat
You insult all of Fwance Monsieur - I washed my feet less than an hour ago!
By Tommy Twinkle at 20:09 12 Nov 2011
Runour has it that Prince Philip eats these Scotch eggs in one go
That is because he has a big mouth and a loose tongue perhaps?
By Tommy Twinkle at 20:24 12 Nov 2011
Deciding the winner using this method is a more civilised way of doing battle
Oui, far too much diving and shirt pulling goes on the other way
By Tommy Twinkle at 13:28 13 Nov 2011
We'll have to try a different restaurant next time
Oui, the dumplings they serve up here are definitely getting smaller
By Tommy Twinkle at 16:39 13 Nov 2011
This new KFC is certainly an improvement over McDonalds eh, Boney?
Oui, mon amie 'owever next time we must not order ze Family Bucket Will.
By Herrdoktorfox at 18:15 13 Nov 2011
"Where's that waiter, I want water Lou!"
"Waterloo? You swine, how dare you mention that!"
By Inchcock at 18:31 13 Nov 2011
"What do get from German, Belgium, Dutch, and Prussian soldier?"
"Funny Bill! Waterloo!, now shut it and eat your meal... Git!"
By Inchcock at 18:33 13 Nov 2011
"They were going to use Ronnie Corbett as you in the new film but he's too tall!
"Armholes!"
By Inchcock at 18:35 13 Nov 2011
Sir I think it's still alive!
Qui Masseur, you can stab it with your steely knife but you can't kill the beast
By Mike at 18:49 13 Nov 2011
Roughly how many times can a waiter's back stand up to bringing these to table?
About three. The Job Centre then finishes them off as bell ringers at Notre Dame
By Tommy Twinkle at 11:32 14 Nov 2011
Greece is in trouble, sir. What do we do?
Take the damn thing over, my lord. Works every time.
By whatinthe world at 11:39 14 Nov 2011
Goin' to buy me a new carving knife. This one is blunt.
Um, you have just committed your first blunder, sir.
By whatinthe world at 11:47 14 Nov 2011
Ooh drat! It's so hot in the middle it's melted the tip of my blade
Chef makes these as realistic as he can.
By Tommy Twinkle at 12:31 14 Nov 2011
No, there's no hole in the middle. I'm not going to pay for this.
Ah, it is clear you are a believer in that hollow Earth twaddle!
By Tommy Twinkle at 12:47 14 Nov 2011
You appear to have an enormous appetite today Nap, been on the nest again mate?
Zat Josephine, she is..ow you say eet, cock crazy..always wanting jig-a-jig 24/7
By Edwinrooteresquire at 15:40 14 Nov 2011
Gadzooks, I should have had a dump before dinner...excuse the smell Nap.
Mon dieu, what a relief I thought ze Turkey was off!
By herrdoktorfox at 18:41 14 Nov 2011
"They have food now that is genetically modified, grows bigger crops"
"Now that I'd be interested in!"
By Inchcock at 09:35 15 Nov 2011
did you watch The X-Factor Saturday night Nap?
Do me a favour cock, I'd sooner lower my testicles into a vat of boiling oil!
By Herrdoktorfox at 19:48 15 Nov 2011
"I nearly into Britain then"
"A dream for me too Bill!"
By Inchcock at 05:57 16 Nov 2011
Have you ever suffered from premature ejaculation Boney?
Oui, every time Josephine goes commando and bends over Bill!
By dickscratcher at 09:26 16 Nov 2011
"Oh, I've got my fork stuck into Canada!"
"Well Fork Off!"
By Inchcock at 07:08 17 Nov 2011
I see Tesco are droping their prices of late Nap.
Fuck Tesco Bill, me and Josie always go to LIDL hell of a lot cheaper!!
By wetmypanties at 16:32 17 Nov 2011
"It's getting harder to find somewhere new to attack in Europe now"
"Hang on, there's bags of room in this island at the bottom!"
By Inchcock at 05:17 18 Nov 2011
I like my meat rare and not well done.
I like my defeats to be rare and not well done.
By whatinthe world at 14:12 18 Nov 2011
Say, that David Cameron is impressive.
Any pom looks good in French designer chic! Waiter, more Napoleon brandy.
By whatinthe world at 14:21 18 Nov 2011
What do you think of Angelina Jolie Nap...fancy giving her one old son?
I'm more into Cheryl Cole myself..or rather I'd like to be ball deep in Cheryl!
By Herrdoktorfox at 17:14 18 Nov 2011
"Oh dear, I've carved up Europe with my knife"
"Under Iran here, I find oil?"
By Inchcock at 09:43 19 Nov 2011
Have you ben watching that Celebrity Jungle thingy on TV Nap?
Oui mon amie but only ze bimbo with ze big tits she give me ze 'ardon evry time.
By wankstainjr at 11:05 19 Nov 2011
"I see it's been made with shortbread!"
"I suppose you'd have preferred ze puff pastry?!
By Inchcock at 03:47 20 Nov 2011
Are we supposed to say something witty here, old bean?
Yes. Big bollocks.
By Skoob1999 at 17:10 20 Nov 2011
I so love French cuisine, Boney old chum.
Shut up and pass the ketchup.
By Skoob1999 at 17:12 20 Nov 2011
I had a wet dream last night Boney, have you ever had one before?
Never get time Bill I'm always on Josephines nest the minute we get into bed.
By Herrdoktorfox at 18:19 20 Nov 2011
Tie myself to the mast you say? I'll give it a try on the journey back to Dover.
Oui, otherwise with these hats you'll find you'll arrive before the ship again!
By Tommy Twinkle at 00:03 21 Nov 2011
"It's about time we used cutlery, instead of cutlass's
"Damned poetic pacifist!"
By Inchcock at 07:49 21 Nov 2011
As soon as we are done divvying up, we go back to fighting each other. Clear?
Right, right, I tell you, I'm so hungry right now, I could eat a world!
By alassandra2000 at 09:27 21 Nov 2011
I thought it was rather small. I assumed they'd given me your room by mistake.
Non, ze rooms in this hotel do not have ze bath tubs Monsieur!
By Tommy Twinkle at 13:44 21 Nov 2011
Any luck on the lottery this week Nap?
Naff all as usual Bill, I might have a crack at that new Health Lottery instead
By Herrdoktorfox at 15:51 21 Nov 2011
"I'd like to visit Paris some time."
"I'd like to visit London some time, with my army!"
By Inchcock at 06:24 22 Nov 2011
I'll have Greece, Turkey, Italy and Portugal
That could cause a bit of indigestion
By IainB at 14:06 22 Nov 2011
Do you stroke it very often Nap or do you prefer a good tug?
You dirty dog Bill, I let Josephine handle it personally.
By herrdoktorfox at 19:00 22 Nov 2011
"How can you expect to rule Europe all the time?"
"Ah, soon we will have De Gaul to!"
By Inchcock at 06:59 23 Nov 2011
Okay, Bonaparte, how you going to solve the debt crisis?
I'm thinking........but first we eat.
By whatinthe world at 12:50 23 Nov 2011
I see we're targets of sloppy print journalism.
Pardon? Just divide and rule. Works every time.
By whatinthe world at 12:54 23 Nov 2011
That reminds me Nap how big are Josephines tits, I bet they are quite a hanful?
Mon Dieu Bill, ze breast relief is magnifique and ze nipples like large acorns
By handjobharry at 16:43 23 Nov 2011
Tell me Nap, why do you wear such a big hat being so, how do I put this..short??
Because I have a big head you tosser!
By Herrdoktorfox at 19:18 23 Nov 2011
"I understand you were born on an island Mr Bonaparte?"
"Of Corsica I was!"
By Inchcock at 02:47 24 Nov 2011
I'll take the carrier pigeon back to England with me. Did you get the message?
Ah...well in a way you'll be taking some of the pigeon back to England with you!
By Tommy Twinkle at 22:07 24 Nov 2011
"I suppose you don't have any ketchup?"
"You really are the pits, Pitt!"
By Inchcock at 06:07 25 Nov 2011
So this satirical cartoon is being used in The Spoof.com, eh?
Yes, Bill. I'm still waiting for our cheque.
By whatinthe world at 13:19 25 Nov 2011
You know, Napoleon, you could be famous one day.
Sacre cour, Bill!! I am now, damn it!!!!
By whatinthe world at 13:24 25 Nov 2011
"Plumb-pudding?" That Gillray never could spell.
Told ya... shoulda got Cruikshank!
By Ellis Ian Fields at 13:59 25 Nov 2011
"We English MPs can travel anywhere in the world on expenses!"
"Believe me, you don't want to go to Russia!"
By Inchcock at 05:03 26 Nov 2011
I hope you enjoy Nelson's testicle
I can't wait to get my teeth into his admirable ball
By j.w. at 11:37 26 Nov 2011
I'm going to complain to the waiter. I haven't found even one piece of meat yet?
Me neither. And the gravy's lumpy!
By Tommy Twinkle at 13:16 26 Nov 2011
Let me explain. If we borrow a pound from each other then we'd not be in debt
Oh, I see. But if we do it through a banker then we both end up in debt!
By Tommy Twinkle at 13:51 26 Nov 2011
Heard anything about Iceland ? Zilch about them in the British press recently.
Yes, apparently they're doing very well.
By Tommy Twinkle at 16:43 26 Nov 2011
Is it a red or a white wine?
Not sure. For now let's keep trying to remove this cork from the bottle!
By Tommy Twinkle at 18:14 26 Nov 2011
"Your hat looks like a cockerel!"
"Yours looks like a hedgehog on a pillow-box!"
By Inchcock at 07:18 27 Nov 2011
The invitation card said Dinner With Ball. I assumed there'd be dancing.
You won't feel like dancing after getting this down into your stomach
By Tommy Twinkle at 16:00 27 Nov 2011
I have an irresistable urge to have a stiff wank at the moment
Go ahead mon ami I have always considered you a bit of a wanker at best of times
By Herrdoktorfox at 18:14 27 Nov 2011
"Oh look, I've found baked Alaska with my fork!"
"How sweet!"
By Inchcock at 01:45 28 Nov 2011
The wife just told me she need's extra stools for Christmas dinner.
...it's gonna taste like shit then Will.
By uoyerarse at 16:42 28 Nov 2011
What's the difference between Gary Speed and Princess Di Nap?
Gary Speed wore a belt!
By uoyerarse at 16:43 28 Nov 2011
"Yes, the X-Factor..........
......when there are definately no vacancies at McDonalds oui?"
By uoyerarse at 16:46 28 Nov 2011
On Wednesday there will be a reputed 2 million people on the streets not working
In other words, what most of us Politicians do every day eh Mr pitt.... tee hee.
By uoyerarse at 16:52 28 Nov 2011
Sadly inevitable. The State Retirement age will have to be raised to 86!
Oui, so much tax revenue will be lost from drivers not using petrol on Wednesday
By Tommy Twinkle at 18:44 28 Nov 2011
"We'll shortly be ruling Europe between us!"
"Shortly? What are you implying!"
By Inchcock at 05:44 29 Nov 2011
What did you think of Osbornes overall appearance today Boney?
Last time I saw Ozzie he was biting the head off of something, great show though
By Herrdoktorfox at 16:36 29 Nov 2011
"Let's go out today, do it Al Fresco"
"I know better than to go Russian out!"
By Inchcock at 06:05 30 Nov 2011
Did you have trouble getting in this morning, what with the strikes Boney?
No, mon amie Josephine is always obliging when it comes to getting in
By 1offderwrist at 18:50 30 Nov 2011
"Oh.. I've pricked myself with the fork!"
"That's nothing, I've often forked myself with the ......!"
By Inchcock at 07:08 01 Dec 2011
"The Russians call you Napoleon Blown-Apart!"
"Sod-off Pit Bull!"
By Inchcock at 06:39 02 Dec 2011
So the Euro zone is in real trouble, eh?
Sacre couer!! It's those damn Greeks again!
By whatinthe world at 06:45 02 Dec 2011
Hey Napoleon, have you read Marcel Proust?
No but I'd like to have his music on my Ipod.
By whatinthe world at 07:36 02 Dec 2011
Say, I just saw this great recipe for fillet mignon on Nigella Lawson's show.
I only watched Nigella Lawson.
By whatinthe world at 07:45 02 Dec 2011
"Nice of you to spend so much money entertaining me Nap!"
"It's nothing, a small 'bill', it was a 'PITT-ance'!"
By Inchcock at 06:49 03 Dec 2011
"Do you think we ought to save a bit for Spain?"
"I've got an icy bit at the bottom here they can have!"
By Inchcock at 07:42 04 Dec 2011
I'll bring some over with me next time. The plum pudding's fine but deary, dear
A sweet yellow gravy you say? No, I've never heard of the custard!
By Tommy Twinkle at 16:20 04 Dec 2011
"Who do you fancy in the X-Factor Boney?"
"No contest Will, that Tulisa Contostavlos doing girl on girl will Josephine!"
By Herrdoktorfox at 19:13 04 Dec 2011
"I'm enjoying our dividing up the Artichoke between us!"
"You mean the globe you fool!"
By Inchcock at 04:35 05 Dec 2011
What do you think of the Scottish Panda Boney?
Not a lot, still tastes like Turkey to me Will.
By herrdoktorfox at 19:34 05 Dec 2011
Do you know my bowels have been playing up something rotten lately Nap.
You hum it son, I'll play it.
By herrdoktorfox at 19:38 05 Dec 2011
"Oh, I've prodded Canada!"
"We'll have to share it now it's damaged!"
By Inchcock at 06:10 06 Dec 2011
What do you think about Kelly Rowlands moving mole Nap?
I'm more interested in her quivering beaver after seeing her dance in her undies
By herrdoktorfox at 15:54 06 Dec 2011
"We now have proof of your photographic escapades with Josephine!"
"How dare you.... oh photographic?...."
By Inchcock at 06:11 07 Dec 2011
"Oh, I nearly sliced my way through Great Britain then!"
"A dream of many an country Bill, I can assure you!"
By Inchcock at 06:29 08 Dec 2011
"I see you've sliced Britain off from Europe Nap?"
"And you think that a bad thing then Bill?"
By Inchcock at 05:58 09 Dec 2011
"Now, where will Britain reign next?"
"You can fork off from Canada mate!"
By Inchcock at 06:52 11 Dec 2011
So would that be just the nobs or are wife swapping parties the norm in France?
Just the nobs monsieur - they have the morals of the alley cat!
By Tommy Twinkle at 13:40 11 Dec 2011
I'll take this middle bit of the Atlantic - I guess that leaves you with...
THE EUROZONE!!!!!
By IN SEINE at 21:15 11 Dec 2011
"Lots of icing here near Iceland!"
"Oil underneath the desert bits here!"
By Inchcock at 05:12 12 Dec 2011
Ouch! You said this contained no bones. I've just broken a tooth on one.
Voila! So that's what happened to the middle prong of my fork.
By Tommy Twinkle at 19:02 12 Dec 2011
Well Boney thats the X-Factor over for another year, any comments mate?
Actually yes, how come a bunch of wailing Irish Banshee's won, little Micks?
By spunkinyermouth at 21:12 12 Dec 2011
I awoke with an amazing stiffy this morning Boney, to an hour to tug it orf!
Dirty fucker, you just want to give Jpsephine one up the arese again don't you?
By backdoorshitkicker at 16:44 13 Dec 2011
The world will chew you up and spit you out.
I think you have that backwards.
By Spyder at 21:08 13 Dec 2011
That Imogen Thomas has some right form on it don't yoy think Boney?
Mon dieu Will, given ze chance I would fuck her day and night in every hole..!
By Herrdoktorfox at 20:32 15 Dec 2011
"My fork prong is not long enough"
"Are you getting at me again?"
By Inchcock at 12:40 16 Dec 2011
Mr Cameron was simply referring to the French Euro bankers
Oh, we thought he said 'The French, you're all bonkers'.
By Tommy Twinkle at 12:43 16 Dec 2011
Got a stiffy on last night Boney...was wanking until dawn before it went off!
Fuck me, I thought it was the dawn chorus I was listening to!
By spunkinyereye at 19:58 16 Dec 2011
Would you like stuffing?
No..I had some at the Battle of Sedan and didn't care for it.
By Micflex at 18:24 17 Dec 2011
Do you like stuffing balls Nap?
No, I am not into beastiality Will, as a Frenchman I much prefer women.
By herrdoktorfox at 20:58 17 Dec 2011
"Shall we celebrate by asking the German's to join the party this Christmas?"
"No, bar Hamburg!"
By Inchcock at 06:11 18 Dec 2011
"I like T-bone steak, sirloin, brisket..."
"What are you beefing on about now?"
By Inchcock at 08:16 19 Dec 2011
Who's going to save the world? Bono, Obama or Bill Gates?
What about me? I'm famous and I have been the subject of some movies.
By whatinthe world at 12:41 28 Dec 2011
The old ones are the best
No they are not..... RAOFLMFAO
By Chris James at 17:59 11 Feb 2012
Another slice of Mastadon testicle?
Don't mind if I do.
By Pariah at 22:59 08 Apr 2012
I really want to fuck your wife Nap I get a hard on just thinking about her.
Not tonight Josephine... she's entertaining the 7th Fleet dear boy.
By Herrdoktorfox at 15:22 14 Apr 2012
1
1
By yindsice at 19:23 19 Jan 2013
Oh, dear, I think it's gotta blow!
Just shut up and keep slicing the damn thing! At least we leave out our place...
By Rocko the Zen Wallaby at 02:28 07 Mar 2013
The hormones they use on the farm REALLY fattened it up, eh?
Oui, quite the breast.
By Smart Blonde Bimbo at 20:31 22 Dec 2013
I say old chap, this is really subtle, us cutting up the world and all.
About as subtle as a French whore-ooh la la!
By Al N. at 04:58 21 Oct 2014
Should we at least throw the starving citizenry a bone?
Let them eat cake.
By Dick Sheerer at 05:48 11 Jun 2015
Oh, I bloody got it, it's satire. Carving up the world. Jolly Good!
You Brits are so thick I'm surprised you even recognized that we're a cartoon.
By Al N. at 05:02 25 Dec 2016
So pretend this is Austria...
And pretend THIS is Spain...
By Al N. at 16:08 05 Apr 2017
It wouldn't be suitable for making the superior English chip of course
True, but for french fries all we require is this type of rubbish french spud
By Tommy Twinkle at 00:25 02 May 2017
I did not know tumors could cook up so nicely.
Yes. But they are rather stringy.
By Aspartame Boy at 02:34 06 Apr 2018
And in the master's chambers, They gathered for the feast.
I'll stab you with my steely knife if you get us arrested for plagarism.
By Al N. at 22:57 12 Jun 2018
I don't know how you have any power.
My jacket is blue.
By Butch at 23:41 01 Apr 2020

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