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Spoof news events on this day in history

Funny story: OMFG! I just l-u-r-v-e Brad so much I'll even stop shagging slags, says Angelina

OMFG! I just l-u-r-v-e Brad so much I'll even stop shagging slags, says Angelina

(2007) Hollywood, California - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): "I'll do absolutely anything to keep my man's attention," Angelina Jolie has told reporters.

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Funny story: Gays accidentally let into U.S. military

Gays accidentally let into U.S. military

(2007) The U.S. military has reversed a long-standing policy and will now allow gays to serve openly in its ranks.

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Funny story: Global Warming Said to Cause My Six Month Dry Spell

Global Warming Said to Cause My Six Month Dry Spell

(2007) "I haven't gotten laid in six months, and Global Warming apparently is to blame," say local scientists.

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Funny story: Queen sends in the bulldozers

Queen sends in the bulldozers

(2004) London, Saturday (Associated Mess) - A fleet of Royal Parks Agency turbo-powered bulldozers is reported to be heading towards Hyde Park this evening following reports that Her Majesty has ordered the razing to the ground of the disastrous Diana, Pri...

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Funny story: Oh, Doctor! What's Wrong with YOU?!

Oh, Doctor! What's Wrong with YOU?!

(2005) CHICAGO-A local woman who for years was looking for health care in all the wrong places turned to litigation to cure what ailed her and uncovered a massive medical fraud scheme.

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Funny story: Albany County Supreme Court Races Against Time

Albany County Supreme Court Races Against Time

(2007) Altamont, NY (Times Union Staff Writer) - According to locals here, the only thing sweeter than the upcoming apple harvest and eventual cider-drinking could be the legal showdown currently brewing in the Albany County Supreme Court.

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Funny story: Goldman Sachs bails out Bush's hedge fund with $3bn

Goldman Sachs bails out Bush's hedge fund with $3bn

(2007) Canary Wharf, Shitty of London - (Ass Mess): Hedge Funds, a term synonymous with Bush Slush Funds only even bigger, are financial scams open to invitation-only mobster cartels wanting to make a packet without paying any tax on earnings and run withou...

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Funny story: Kobe Bryant Civil Trial Before Oklahoma Judge

Kobe Bryant Civil Trial Before Oklahoma Judge

(2004) US District Judge Richard Matsch, the no nonsense federal judge who presided over the Oklahoma City bombing trials of Timothy McVeigh and Terry Nichols, will be hearing the civil suit filed against Kobe Bryant by the woman involved in the sexual hara...

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Funny story: Octomom and Levi get married

Octomom and Levi get married

(2010) Last night was a great night for newlyweds Levi Johnson and Nadya Suleman-Johnson. After getting marry in Las Vegas early that evening they announced that Octocmon was six months pregnant and the proud father to be was young Levi Johnson. This ti...

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Funny story: "Evil Triumphs When Good Men Spank the Monkey"

"Evil Triumphs When Good Men Spank the Monkey"

(2010) Robert Gibbs, the White House press secretary startled the press corps this week when he opened his remarks by saying, "Evil triumphs when good men spank the monkey!" Chairs scraped the floor, mouths fell open, and several of the "professional left"...

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Funny story: Donald Duck & Goofy: The Taliban Killers

Donald Duck & Goofy: The Taliban Killers

(2007) Open on a lonely bar in the middle of the Nevada desert.

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Funny story: Sky issues Soccer Saturday fans an Ultimatum - Subscribe to Sky or Garth Crooks doesn't get it

Sky issues Soccer Saturday fans an Ultimatum - Subscribe to Sky or Garth Crooks doesn't get it

(2010) From August 23rd Sky will no longer be broadcasting their Sky Sports News channel on digital Freeview. This means that unless viewers subscribe to Sky they will no longer be able to enjoy the unmissable Soccer Saturday presented by the legendary Jeff...

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Funny story: Man in the moon?!

Man in the moon?!

(2015) A photo taken from Google Moon claims to have captured the fossilized face of an ancient man, alien - or even that of an ancient statue. But NASA says that is probably not the case. Facebook user, Johnathon Mathin posted a photo of the find mad...

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Funny story: Newspaper in Mormon town refuses to print photograph of legally married gay couple

Newspaper in Mormon town refuses to print photograph of legally married gay couple

(2009) SAINT GEORGE, Utah - Don't bother trying to get your same-sex wedding announcement printed in The Spectrum, regardless of how much you pay for the notice. A California couple, Spencer Jones and Tyler Barrick, from San Francisco paid the St. Ge...

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Funny story: Price Crash for Sub-Prime Players

Price Crash for Sub-Prime Players

(2007) Markets were in turmoil yesterday as the price of football players tumbled worldwide.

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Funny story: A List of 10 New NFL Rules For 2013

A List of 10 New NFL Rules For 2013

(2013) Over the years the National Football League has strived to do what it takes to make the game of professional football safer. And no one can argue that we have not come a long way since the days of leather helmets, one bar face masks, and a square football. NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell has said that he and the NFL will continue to do whatever it takes to make sure that NFL players do not en...

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Funny story: US Calls For Sanctions Against Evil NHS

US Calls For Sanctions Against Evil NHS

(2009) Republicans in the US are calling on immediate wide-ranging sanctions against the UK's National Health Service. They claim that the evil communist-inspired regime must be toppled for the sake of world stability, and say that if the United Nations is...

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Funny story: Irish presidential election now open to all former Eurovision contestants

Irish presidential election now open to all former Eurovision contestants

(2011) DUBLIN, Ireland - A representative of the Irish government announced yesterday that all former Irish representatives at the Eurovision Song Contest would be eligible to stand for the upcoming presidential election. This marks a notable change to the...

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Funny story: iPhone Upgrade To Have Built in Enema Function

iPhone Upgrade To Have Built in Enema Function

(2007) How nifty is the new iphone?! It does everything. You can phone your friends, text message them, email them, chat with them; listen to your music, watch your movies, surf the web; use the built-in swiss army knife to open beers, and 8 or 9 later stab a friend; and otherwise pretend that technology is making your more rather than less social. All in that with a touch-sensitive screen in a little sm...

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Funny story: Dr. Laura Emerges From Obscurity, Refers to Black Caller as The N-Word 400 Times, Disappears

Dr. Laura Emerges From Obscurity, Refers to Black Caller as The N-Word 400 Times, Disappears

(2010) Dr. Laura Schlessinger has apologized to a country that thought she was dead, after a shocking rant on her radio show, during which she said the n-word 11 times over the course of five minutes. "Yesterday, I did the wrong thing," she said. "I didn...

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Funny story: Rex Ryan Behind IK Enemkpali Breaking Geno Smith's Jaw

Rex Ryan Behind IK Enemkpali Breaking Geno Smith's Jaw

(2015) It appears that there is more to the story of IK Enemkpali breaking Geno Smith's jaw than we were first led to believe. Sources originally reported that the linebacker had "sucker-punched" Smith over $600 that the Jet's quarterback had owed him. The...

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Funny story: OMAROSA Spelled Backwards: ASORAMO...

OMAROSA Spelled Backwards: ASORAMO...

(2018) BILLINGSGATE POST: OMAROSA spelled backwards is ASORAMO. In the Looking Glass War, there are many images that are mirror reflections of counter-intuitive deflections. This might provide insight into the war of words that takes place in everyday life. Linguistically speaking, the word “ASORAMO” might conjure up suggestions of “Ass” “Hole” and “Panorama.” How ironic this is for a lady who sold out...

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Funny story: Tila Tequila Auditions for, Then Is Savagely Beaten By, Juggalos At Concert

Tila Tequila Auditions for, Then Is Savagely Beaten By, Juggalos At Concert

(2010) Tila Nguyễn, the academically challenged television whore known as Tila Tequila, is having her face sewn back on at a suburban Chicago hospital, after being unceremoniously removed from the stage of an Insane Clows Posse concert by ticket holders wit...

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