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Spoof news events on this day in history

Funny story: David Cameron sets out to beat cock-sucking record

David Cameron sets out to beat cock-sucking record

(2010) To raise publicity for the Conservative party ahead of the up-coming election, David Cameron has promised to enter the annual Gay UK Cock Sucking Contest. In the contest, participants are given 10 minutes to suck as many penises to climax as possi...

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Funny story: Scientists To Invent Some New Things

Scientists To Invent Some New Things

(2007) A team of scientists - including a selection of boffins and eggheads - are to invent some totally new things by the year 8005. Amongst the things to be invented are a car which can run on used beard-clippings, a telescope able to see into the human m...

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Funny story: Pakistan's F16 purchase is 1 millionth for DefenseDepartmentSales.com

Pakistan's F16 purchase is 1 millionth for DefenseDepartmentSales.com

(2005) The Pentagon.-"Jeff Bezos had better watch out!" ejaculated Secretary of Defense Don Rumsfeld today as he answered questions from the press about Pakistan's purchase of U.S. made F-16s.

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Funny story: Chocolate covered Maltesers prove the world is flat not round!

Chocolate covered Maltesers prove the world is flat not round!

(2018) Giant chocolate producers, Mars (not on Mars), have finally convinced the world that the world is flat, and in honor of this great discovery, they have decided to issue a 'flat' version of Brits favorite 'round' choco snack, Maltesers! There were...

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Funny story: Dolly the sheep stolen

Dolly the sheep stolen

(2007) The stuffed remains of Dolly, the first mammal cloned from an adult cell in 1996, were stolen from the Royal Museum early Monday morning.

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Funny story: The Detroit Tigers Sign Gary Coleman

The Detroit Tigers Sign Gary Coleman

(2008) The Detroit Tigers have confirmed that Gary Coleman will be their backup catcher for the oncoming season, as part of the Dontrelle Willis package. The Diff'rent Strokes star will be catching for the ex-Marlins pitcher as GM Dave Dombrowski hopes t...

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Funny story: David Jason In Racist Joke Row

David Jason In Racist Joke Row

(2009) Sources at the BBC have uncovered, what they say is, evidence that Sir David Jason, the long-time star of shows such as Only Fools And Horses and A Touch Of Frost, is a racist, after he unleashed a torrent of racist abuse and innuendo during a live r...

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Funny story: Fourth "Twilight: Breaking Dawn" Will Be In 3D

Fourth "Twilight: Breaking Dawn" Will Be In 3D

(2010) With the success of the Avatar movie and the large audience that the first two Twilight movies have brought in, assistant producer, Akira Horoko told reporters yesterday the the fourth Twilight movie, "Breaking Dawn" will almost certainly be in 3D.

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Funny story: Carla Brunei and David Cameron are the royal cuckoo's parents

Carla Brunei and David Cameron are the royal cuckoo's parents

(2008) Windsor Castle - (ReUterus & Royal Ass Mess): France's first Madame Carla Brunei Sarkozy and UK Tory leader David Cameron were named today as the biological parents of the Pretender to the Throne's heir of the dog apparent.

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Funny story: Cruise & Cruz Split - Cruise on cruise

Cruise & Cruz Split - Cruise on cruise

(2004) Hollywood couple Tom Cruise and Penelope Cruz have split up it is reported. Their three year relationship is said to have finished at the end of January and is believed to have been amicable.

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Funny story: Miley Cyrus to Star in True Grit Remake

Miley Cyrus to Star in True Grit Remake

(2009) The Coen brothers have announced plans to remake the John Wayne classic western, True Grit. Wayne won his only Oscar playing a "one eyed fat man" sheriff named Rooster Cogburn who helps a young girl (Kim Darby) avenge the murder of her father. The...

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Funny story: Britney Spears has come out

Britney Spears has come out

(2007) Britney Spears is finally out of rehab, and returned to her first love - GIRLS. There has been much speculation about the true desires that plague Ms Spears. On her departure from rehab, she announced that she is coming out for good. On analysing t...

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Funny story: Bill Clinton gagged UK courts about Jade Goody paternity

Bill Clinton gagged UK courts about Jade Goody paternity

(2009) London - (Seedy Ass Mess): In a startling development this afternoon lawyers acting for fetid former come-back kid Bill Clinton obtained a gagging order forbidding UK media from publishing his DNA paternity test results re Jade Goody. The feckless...

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Funny story: The Day the Penis asked for a Raise

The Day the Penis asked for a Raise

(2009) I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons: I do physical labour. I work at great depths. I plunge headfirst into everything I do. I do not get weekends or public holidays off. I work in a damp environment. I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation. I work in high temperatures. My work exposes me to contagious diseases. Sincerely,...

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Funny story: Rupert Grint To Write Best Selling Novel

Rupert Grint To Write Best Selling Novel

(2008) Ginger actor Rupert Grint who stars along side Daniel Radcliffe as idiot sidekick Ron in the Harry Potter films has announced today that he is writing a book that WILL sell millions.

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Funny story: Records Reveal That Dick Cheney Never Received A Heart Transplant, Turns Out He Never Had One In The First Place

Records Reveal That Dick Cheney Never Received A Heart Transplant, Turns Out He Never Had One In The First Place

(2012) The Non-Associated Press released a surgeon's report detailing former vice president, Dick Cheney's "heart transplant". The operation was performed by two of the world's foremost surgeons, Drs. Foster and Schmick who actually aren't surgeons at all...

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Funny story: Surprise Swedish Find: Smoking Cure for Alzheimer's

Surprise Swedish Find: Smoking Cure for Alzheimer's

(2004) Stockholm, Sweden-The latest news from the Swedish Institute of Health reveals a surprising new find in geriatrics. Smokers are 86% less likely to suffer fro...

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Funny story: Biologist Discovers God While Researching in Antarctica

Biologist Discovers God While Researching in Antarctica

(2008) It is the universal question that we all ask ourselves at some point in our life: What does God look like? Nobody has been able to offer up any reasonable answers to that question until now.

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Funny story: Book Review - The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas

Book Review - The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas

(2014) One of my favorite books. Once I realized it was not a non-fiction book about a census study on a small French Island or a Sesame Street character with a fetish for numbers and in fact a tale of revenge, hidden identities and twists I was pleasantly surprised. If in fact anyone did compile a census of Monte Cristo, and did indeed count the residents of the small island, I am led to believe t...

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Funny story: Brad's Kidnapping fears

Brad's Kidnapping fears

(2007) Brad Pitt has foiled a kidnapping plot by a gang of desperate housewives. Pitt is reported to be quite distressed that Angelina is constantly in the limelight, and is being favoured due to her adoption franchise. He climbed on his bike and rode off...

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Funny story: In a galaxy not so far away

In a galaxy not so far away

(2007) National Aeronautics and Space Administration officials announced today that they have discovered an object rapidly approaching Earth that resembles a Death Star from the popular movie series Star Wars. They also reported several large triangular obj...

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Funny story: Tiger Woods Emails Jesse James: "Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!"

Tiger Woods Emails Jesse James: "Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!"

(2010) ORLANDO - The Tiger Woods family maid Paprika Latibia Madison stated that Tiger emailed Sandra Bullock's husband Jesse "Have I Got Some Nads Or What?" James with a six word email that really and truly said it all, "Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!...

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Funny story: Lowton conducts sensory deprivation experiment using TheSpoof.com writers

Lowton conducts sensory deprivation experiment using TheSpoof.com writers

(2008) "The aim of the project is to obtain basic information on how TheSpoof.com writers will react in situations where nothing is happening," said Lowton aide Victor Frankenstein.

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