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Spoof news events on this day in history

Funny story: Dirty Bomb Shell Discovered - Fine for Public Lewdness Pending

Dirty Bomb Shell Discovered - Fine for Public Lewdness Pending

(2004) New York City, N.Y., U.S.A. - Officials from the Office of Homeland Insecurity were called in late last night to deal with a suspicious package. They later identified the offending item as a "dirty" bomb shell and called in some Christian...

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Funny story: Third Secret of Fatima: Pretender to Throne picks April 1st

Third Secret of Fatima: Pretender to Throne picks April 1st

(2005) Royal Soothsayers Office, Tower of London; Saturday 12 February 2005 - (Associated Mess): A flurry of frenzied activity has descended on the Ancient Heraldic Order of Seers, Stargazers and Interpreters of the Splayed Royal Entrails this weekend fo...

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Funny story: Kermit The Frog "I could be Dannielynn's father!"

Kermit The Frog "I could be Dannielynn's father!"

(2007) February 8th 2007 was indeed a sad day around the world. Former Playboy bunny Anna Nicole Smith was found unconscious at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino. CPR was administered and paramedics arrived shortly after. Anna Nicole Smith was pron...

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Funny story: Rev Pat Robertson's rants vindicated as lightning strikes Rio's Christ the Redeemer

Rev Pat Robertson's rants vindicated as lightning strikes Rio's Christ the Redeemer

(2008) Rio de Janeiro - (Ungodly Mess): The Reverend Pat Robertson is in fine fettle this week after living proof that the Almighty is finally siding with him about ungodly papists ruining religion.

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Funny story: KFC Secret Recipe Stored In Great Pyramid, Fort Knox or Mammoth Cave Area?

KFC Secret Recipe Stored In Great Pyramid, Fort Knox or Mammoth Cave Area?

(2009) In Louisville, Kentucky Colonel Sanders' handwritten recipe for fried chicken was back in its Kentucky home Tuesday after five months in hiding while KFC upgraded security around its top corporate secret, following a terrorist chicken outfit believed...

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Funny story: Story of Octupletes' Mom inspires changes to "The Bachelor" TV show; next season to feature simply a canister of frozen Sperm, say producers

Story of Octupletes' Mom inspires changes to "The Bachelor" TV show; next season to feature simply a canister of frozen Sperm, say producers

(2009) Hollywood, California - Made deaf, dumb and apparently blind by the ticking away of their biological clocks, women bent on waiting so long for Mr. Right to come along that they let all the sand in their egg timer run out have once again allowed produ...

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Funny story: Creationist archaeologists discover proof of God

Creationist archaeologists discover proof of God

(2012) In the Nevada desert, a group of archaeologists have made an astonishing discovery which appears to provide evidence for creationism. In a large dig site, the bones of ten dinosaurs have been discovered wearing crucifixes. Chief digger and creatio...

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Funny story: FDIC Offers Chihuahua Giveaway and Free Trips to Disneyland and Las Vegas

FDIC Offers Chihuahua Giveaway and Free Trips to Disneyland and Las Vegas

(2008) WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) - The Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation (FDIC) is now offering additional bonuses to depositors who have lost their life savings as US banks fail and as they receive minimal deposit insurance under new FDIC rules. Meanwhil...

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Funny story: Hallmark Condemns Valentine's Day Internet Suicide Pact

Hallmark Condemns Valentine's Day Internet Suicide Pact

(2005) WASHINGTON - The Hallmark Corporation has asked the Department of Homeland Security to declare a code red for Valentine's Day following the discovery of an Internet suicide pact scheduled for Monday February 14. The pact, which is known to involve at...

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Funny story: Vice President Pence’s encounter with Kim Yo Jung remains on high alert

Vice President Pence’s encounter with Kim Yo Jung remains on high alert

(2018) Mystery continues to surround Mr. Pence’s relationship with Ms. Kim (although Mrs. Pence objects to the term “relationship.”) Analysts suggest the root of the problem lies in both parties being lodged at the same quarters, The Fourview Hotel in Py...

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Funny story: Brunei's Prince Jefri suspected in £84 million Nazi-link art heist

Brunei's Prince Jefri suspected in £84 million Nazi-link art heist

(2008) Zurich, Switzerland - (Thieving Mess): Brunei's Prince Jefri Archer is the top suspect behind the £84 million art heist from the Buehrle Museum.

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Funny story: Madonna dating "Satan"

Madonna dating "Satan"

(2009) Photographs of Madonna passionately kissing model Satan Sux have been released. In the pictures, the 50-year-old singer is seen lying on top of the 22-year-old Brazilian devil and looking on as he towels himself down. The images appear in a 46-...

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Funny story: Cameron Diaz Dumps Justin Timberlake, Writes "Dump Him with Dignity" Book

Cameron Diaz Dumps Justin Timberlake, Writes "Dump Him with Dignity" Book

(2007) The actress, who has also been in high-profile relationships with Carlos de La Torre, Matt Dillon, and Jared Leto, shares her expertise in this new book.

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Funny story: Lyndsey Lohan and Paris Hilton to star in Celebrity Rehab

Lyndsey Lohan and Paris Hilton to star in Celebrity Rehab

(2007) A new reality TV show, starring two of America's favourite fuck-ups, is set to air next week on the Fox network.

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Funny story: Illicit New Drug - "Better than Crack"

Illicit New Drug - "Better than Crack"

(2007) Police have predicted an imminent drug epidemic to rival the good old heroin proliferation of the 80's made popular by Zammo. Chief Constable for Greater Manchester Police Mike Todd claimed: "It's some of the best gear I've ever had.

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Funny story: Mexico Earthquake Unleashes Duck Billed Dinosaur

Mexico Earthquake Unleashes Duck Billed Dinosaur

(2008) Monte Tranquillo, Mexico (IPP) - Scientists and Mexican government authorities reported at 3:15 PM today that the 6.7 magnitude earthquake that occurred in Southern Mexico has opened a gap in the earth from which over 200 Duck Billed dinosaurs escape...

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Funny story: James Brown Version of The Bible Supplants King James Version

James Brown Version of The Bible Supplants King James Version

(2008) Mephistopholville, Tennessee (IPP) - Bible publishers in this Southern Baptist stonghold announced to the public today that The James Brown version of the Bible has now sold more copies than the King James Version.

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Funny story: Jamie Oliver Is Really An Idiot

Jamie Oliver Is Really An Idiot

(2007) Jamie Oliver, the blubbermouthed TV chef, has been quick to prove that he's really an idiot after some observers have said that he's, in fact, clever. Jamie, whose programme about rotten school meals was a big em...

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Funny story: Ralph Fiennes and the mile-high steward

Ralph Fiennes and the mile-high steward

(2007) Darwin, Australia - (ReUterus): Actor Ralph Fiennes was clearly ruffled yesterday after a mile-high incident with a Qaintarse flight steward in the first class lavatory nearly brought the plane down on a flight from Darwin to Mumbai.

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Funny story: Sweet revenge for lions; I bet his name wasn't Daniel God said?

Sweet revenge for lions; I bet his name wasn't Daniel God said?

(2018) Now in our cynical world of satirical spoofing this story is a gem, and to be honest, I do not give a shit about the idiot who has more than lightly slaughtered elephants for their tusks, rhinos for their horns, and smuggled baby monkeys out of Afric...

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Funny story: Ryan Giggs Yoga Guru Shocks Manchester United Football Club Chiefs

Ryan Giggs Yoga Guru Shocks Manchester United Football Club Chiefs

(2011) Ryan Giggs' Yoga Guru has stunned Manchester United Football chiefs by giving them an offer that they definitely can refuse. He told the very rich, very fat group of couch potatoes that the only way to gain enlightenment is through fasting and pover...

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Funny story: Madoff's Ponzi scam wife legs it with $15.5 million

Madoff's Ponzi scam wife legs it with $15.5 million

(2009) New York - (Mossad Pension Fund Mess): Ruth Madoff has vanished along with $15.5 million in 'monthly housekeeping funds' that she withdrew from her Lehman Brothers-affiliated hedge fund checking account just hours before husband Bernard was busted fo...

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Funny story: Liverpool apologise to Chelsea for Torres

Liverpool apologise to Chelsea for Torres

(2012) Liverpool have described Fernando Torres' refusal to score for Chelsea as "unacceptable". Torres has since apologised for being unable to hit a cow's arse with a banjo, and admits he has let the club down. Liverpool's managing director, says th...

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