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Spoof news events on this day in history
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Kate Middleton's sacrifice for William
(2007) London - (Ass Mess): Some women sacrifice their virginity. Some sacrifice careers. And some even sacrifice entire well-planned futures all for the sake of that special man.
Read full storyPaul, the psychic octopus, does it again but we anxiously await his prediction for the final of The FIFA World Cup
(2010) No news yet, to report on Paul, the psychic octopus's prediction for the outcome of the final of The FIFA World Cup, which is to be decided by a football match on Sunday, July 11th between Spain and Holland. We wait with bated breath, and some wit...
Read full storyNew String Theory: The Universe is Made of Duct Tape
(2007) Hardly University's finest have won a Nobel Prize in physics for their newest paper, "Tape it Up," which explains the ultimate theory of life, the universe and everything. Atoms and the tiniest particles known are not made of indescrib...
Read full storyAlabama Made Computers: An Oxymoron?
(2004) Hope Springs Eternal, Ala. (AP) - You can special order one from the back pages of a comic book, but most of Miltopia laptop computers go to Afghanistan, Iraq and wherever American combat troops are assigned around the world. They are also the first...
Read full storyScientists say, "there could be no limit to the number of Baldwin Brothers!"
(2014) Everyone knows Alec Baldwin, surely? And you might think that he is the only Baldwin, or maybe he has one brother, probably Stephen. You'd only know that because you saw him on late night tv or in that one good movie where he played an escape c...
Read full storyBeware of Fake Psychic Octopus Predictions Offered on eBay
(2010) The success of the German Octopus named Paul has spawned some fakes that internet users need to be aware of. There is only one real psychic octopus who resides in an aquarium in Oberhausen and his only claim to fame so far is picking World Cup winner...
Read full storyMan U's Chicharito says that Cheryl Cole is one sexy hot tamale!
(2011) Chicharito is allegedly 'eyeing' up Cheryl Cole saying she is one sexy hot tamale. He has, apparently, always 'fancied' older women and although he won't be making any moves on her he says it doesn't stop him from looking. When asked if he'd li...
Read full storyRon Paul Campaign Resorts to Cloning for Fund Raising Boost
(2007) It is a well known fact that all Ron Paul supporters are a bunch of fanatical web programmers that spend their entire natural lives creating bots to spam online polls. Ron Paul ever the opportunist has decided that he can use this tactic in his fund...
Read full storyAdam Lambert: Michael Jackson Cloned Me
(2009) Sources close to Michael Jackson the King of Pop and the Preposterous have reported that he was obsessed with the desire to clone himself in the hope that his genetic duplicate given a different environment might turn out to less of a freak. American...
Read full storySays Dad To Lily Collins - 'Stay Away From Adam Lambert'
(2009) London, UK - Celebutant Lily Collins, daughter of drummer Phil Collins, has been told by her father to stay away from American Idol Adam Lambert. Said father Phil, "Adam Lambert is a football hooligan, a lout. I don't want him anywhere near my daught...
Read full storyWanking to be Olympic Sport by 2012
(2009) The noble art of masturbation is amongst a number of proposed events to be considered for inclusion by the 2012 Olympic games in Britain. Wanking is believed to be the most popular pastime amongst males between the ages of 13 to 99 - with female p...
Read full storySpain The New Arsenal?
(2010) As the World Cup reaches its thrilling conclusion on Sunday, it was the turn of European giants Germany and Spain to contest a very interesting game last night to see who would face Holland in the final. And it was Carles Puyol of Spain who scored...
Read full storySoccer Players Part of "Homosexual Abomination"
(2014) An Orthodox Russian priest is celebrating Russia's loss in the World Cup. This is because it's all part of a "homosexual abomination" plan to oppose Christianity. Father Alexander Shumsky has apparently determined this by looking at the brightly...
Read full storyKaka, Messi glee at Cristiano Ronaldo paternity claim
(2010) South Africa - (Reuterus & Gonads): It's turning out to be a right messy business. Last week's paternity announcement by Portuguese football captain Cristiano Ronaldo has left fellow internationals in stitches. Ricardo 'Kaka' Izecson dos Sa...
Read full storyMichael Jackson Fans Disrupt Memorial at Staples Center
(2009) Los Angeles, California - A relatively small but outspoken group of true Michael Jackson fans in attendance of the ticketed event only at the Staples Center for their namesake fallen hero, The King of Pop, disrupted the memorial proceedings today by...
Read full storyTaking the bulls by their poisonous horns in Pamplona
(2004) PAMPLONA, Spain -- This Spanish town's famous bull-running event, featuring stampeding animals galloping through the streets in reckless abandon along with humans, has a new twist to it this year-poison horn tips.
Read full storyRaoul Moat Buys Predator Costume
(2010) New CCTV footage of Raoul Moat suggests he has purchased a Predator costume from a fancy-dress shop. Shop assistant Carrie Mutt said that she thought she recognized the shopper, but as he was not carrying a loaded shotgun, nor foaming at the mout...
Read full storyMartians Object to "War of the Worlds" Remake, Issue Ultimatum
(2005) UNITED NATIONS, NY (UPI)-Humanity's first contact with an alien civilization occurred on Thursday when a large Martian spaceship appeared above the United Nations, shocking millions of New Yorkers. The craft radioed an objection to UN diplomats that...
Read full storyBiden/Harris Administration Forced To Let Biden Go
(2021) The Harris Administration held a presser at the White House today, to discuss the parting of ways between Joe Biden, and the now defunct Biden/Harris Administration. Months of back door discussions between then VP Harris, common sense, and James…
Read full storyJustin Bieber, Boo Boo Stewart In New Movie "Dragon Age Warriors"?
(2010) The latest rumor around Hollywood is that two young men, Justin Bieber and Boo Boo Stewart will be playing key roles in the movie "Dragon Age Warriors", with some of the music coming from 16-year-old Justin Bieber. Unlike the game by the title, th...
Read full storySmall Tornado Hits Bognor Regis - Not Much Damage
(2011) Details are leaking through that the south coast seaside town of Bognor Regis has been lashed by a small tornado. A sort of mini-tornado, according to accounts, and although there was some damage to property, it appears that the damage was limited, a...
Read full storyTwilight Star Kristen Stewart Pregnant With Robert Pattinson's Baby?
(2009) Twilight Co-stars Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are soon to be the parents of a new baby. The story was broken first by an Australian magazine. Neither of the stars has officially confirmed the rumour, and their publicists have not returned...
Read full story'Grow Your Own' Embraced By Trend-Conscious Middle Classes
(2011) In recent years, many people have chosen to devote some of their garden space to the growing of food crops. Initially, such amateur production was exclusively directed towards vegetables and fruit. Increasing numbers of hobby gardeners, however, are now experimenting with cereal crops. Since Kate Moss revealed in Hello Magazine that she grew wheat in the garden of her small London home, this...
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