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Rangers riot: was Burma involved?
(2008) The riots that occurred directly after the Glasgow Rangers/Zenit St Petersburg UEFA Cup Final on Wednesday night have been blamed on the actions on Burma's military junta. Already a world pariah for not allowing blue-eyed westerners to come into...
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Forget chicken stock cubes: Gordon Ramsay reveals secret culinary ingredient
(2007) London - (Ass Mess): Celebrity London restaurateur Gordon Ramsay has revealed the success secrets behind his three Michelin stars following an industry controversy over Marco Pierre White's admission that he flavors his dishes with the humble Kno...
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Part II: Trump, Conway, Conway, and a Lecture on Truth
(2020) In the first part of this piece, I discussed a possible Democratic response to a Republican narrative that asserts that, unlike “Grabby Joe Biden”, Donald Trump has not been accused of sexual misconduct while in public office. The Democratic counter...
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Michael Jackson's Alleged Gay Companion in Hiding
(2010) The self-confessed lover of Michael Jackson says he is hiding out following death threats by Michael Jackson's fans. Jason Pfeiffer says some of the threats are gruesome and graphic and have him scared for his life. Jackson's dermatologist, Dr.
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Obama Related to Osama
(2008) Pastor Wright came before a press conference in Dallas today, to describe in greater detail his relationship with Senator Obama. Meaning well, he told of their more intimate times spent together, speaking of religion, government, and the middle east.
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Massive nuclear plant explosion triggered Chinese quake says Dalai Lama
(2008) Tibet - (Sabotage Mess): Sources close to the Dalai Llama say that Tibetan freedom fighters may have triggered a huge subterranean nuclear explosion that caused Monday's devastating earthquake in Sichuan Provice.
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Jerry Falwell Meets His Maker
(2007) Lynchburg Tenn., Liberty University. The Reverend Jerry Falwell was discovered collapsed on the floor at Liberty University today. Attempts to revive the Reverend failed and it is presumed Falwell succumbed to heart failure. Falwell has had a past...
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New Kids on the Block reform
(2008) The product of a scientific experiment that went horrifically wrong, New Kids on the Block the five headed mutant organism, today reformed in New York prompting speculation about a mutant invasion.
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Bad day for the Devil as Jerry Falwell gets sent down
(2007) Extremist Jerry Falwell, the controversial homophobic arsehole and evangelical lunatic has died of a heart attack. "Good bloody riddance" said the Reverend Ian Paisley. "He will burn in ever lasting flame for his twist...
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Neil Warnock Sacked - Announces Wedding Plans
(2007) Neil Warnock, the Sheffield United manager has been sacked by the club in the wake of their relegation from the Premiership. The news was announced this morning on the Blades' website, but there...
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Bolton and Pompeo with possible new executive positions in the nuclear war shelter business
(2019) Insiders are currently whispering that Mr. Bolton and Mr. Pompeo just might be on the chopping block. Washington has been reporting Mr. Trump needed to air out that he was not totally pleased with recent performance. Mr. Bolton may be gone soon...
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Ten Little Known Facts About Carrie Prejean, Miss California
(2009) VISTA, California - Miss California, Carrie Prejean has really been put through the grilling mill, the grinding mill, and the mams mill. The 22-year-old native of San Diego, California said that as long as the owner of the Miss USA Pageant, the pleasantly pompadour-haired Donald Trump believes in her and supports her that is all that matters. Prejean said that she has no more tears left. To...
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Fatwah Declared on Human Resources
(2008) A disaffected former employee of Rolls Royce, forced out of his job by a dysfunctional HR manager who blamed no golfing partner to play or cheese and wine function to attend, has set up a world-wide organisation to fight for the world-wide banning of...
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Bolton to pilot B-52 squadron over North Korea will parachute down to establish first American base north of the 38th parallel
(2018) National Security Advisor John Bolton has had his way over North Korea’s objections to the current “Maximum Thunder” joint exercises with South Korea. Mr. Bolton insists that scheduling the current exercises despite the North-South Koreas’ recent...
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Barack Obama to Wed Chelsea Clinton; Hillary Not Mad
(2007) Barack Obama will wed Chelsea Clinton this fall, according to a formal statement issued by David Plouffe, Obama's campaign manager. The Washington press corps was all abuzz this week with rumors about the surprising romantic pairing.
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First gay Dunkin’ Donuts opens in Cincinnati!
(2021) One of America’s most popular coffee chains has burst into the modern age with the first sexual preference-specific, LGBTQ-themed Dunkin’ Donuts store in downtown Cincinnati. Lots of fanfare and glitz on display for passersby at the grand opening yes…
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Chris Brown Uses Captain Hook's Hook As A Nipple Ring On Rihanna
(2009) When nude pictures of Rihanna were leaked online, they showed her with a nipple ring, and it appears to be Captain Hook's beloved hook. Rihanna has confirmed it was stolen from Captain Hook and she is very sorry. Chris Brown was the person who act...
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Something So Bad Happens In Tybee That It Can Not Even Be Reported
(2014) Something so bad and unspeakable has happened in the small town of Tybee located on Tybee Island that it cannot even be reported, it is that bad. Tybee, 13 miles from Savannah, a small town with an even smaller mentality, is said to be reeling fro...
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Mourinho to play in FA Cup Final
(2007) Chelsea FC's Manager, Jose Mourinho, claims the club's injury problems are so bad he will consider playing as a striker for the FA Cup final on Saturday.
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Democrats Scramble Bombers, Prepare "Nuclear Option"
(2005) Washington (AP)--In a sign of escalating tensions over the right to block judicial nominees, Democrats announced Tuesday that they had scrambled a bomber squadron capable of executing a "nuclear option."...
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Bush 98% Monkey
(2007) Scientists in a lab somewhere, claim findings with extensive research that George W Bush (of America) is 98% Monkey. One expert said, "Yep, it's true".
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