Spoof news events on this day in history
Chinese Swim Team Banned
(2004) Athens Greece.In a decision that suprised no one, the International Olympic Committee banned the Chinese Womens swim team for illegal substances and having fins.Read full story
Is Pink the New Black?
(2007) The battle among pop stars continues as singer and songwriter Pink (Alecia Moore) said that Britney Spears is "not a true artist." Pink had mentioned Britney by name in a song from earlier in her career, saying that she's "tired of...Read full story
Martha Stewart Packing Her Bags
(2004) Friends of Martha Stewart say that she is packing her bags for her upcoming vacation at a yet undisclosed Federal Correction Facility. Next-door neighbor Beatrice Busybody says, "Yesterday I saw a big UPS van delivering nine great big new steame...Read full story
Caroline Kennedy Fired After Racial Altercation With Michelle Obama
(2008) Philadelphia PA-- Caroline Kennedy was abruptly fired today after a searing racial confrontation with Michelle Obama.Read full story
Lance Armstrong Makes Late Entry Into Tour De France!
(2007) Lance Armstrong, complaining that retirement was too boring has made a late entry into the Tour De France. Starting more than a day behind the leaders and main pack of riders.Read full story
Cheryl Cole Cheats With Wayne Rooney
(2008) Cheryl Cole, recently seen patching things up with love rat husband Ashley Cole has gotten her own back by sleeping with Ashleys team-mate Wayne Rooney in a dream I had last night.Read full story
Big Brother's Belinda Kicked Out For Racist Abuse
(2008) Big Brother's irritating nasal jazz fraud Belinda (Belinda, Belinda) has been kicked out of the house following allegations of racist abuse levelled by mock-Italian Mario Marconi, real name Cyril Twaddlethorpe, from Manchester.Read full story
Port Vale Sign Two Robbies
(2007) League One side Port Vale made an audacious swoop into the transfer market yesterday when they secured the services of two Robbies - ex-Liverpool, Man City, Leeds and England striker Robbie Fowler, and the ex...Read full story
Ron Paul Introduces Legislation to Grant Great Britain Statehood!
(2007) Today Ron Paul introduced legislation that would make Great Britain the 51st state of the United States. The legislation co-written with new friend Tony Blair, calls for Britons to vote regarding statehood next spring. All Britons would then be eligi...Read full story
Alan Carr Secretly Straight
(2008) Muched loved comedian Alan Carr has always been known to be gay. Now after spotting him on a night out, I have proof (well, not the type that would stand up in court, just my own fevered rantings) that this is nothing but an act.Read full story
The Bigger the Cushion, The Sweeter the Pushin'
(2009) Mock Rock band Spinal Tap probably never expected that the lyrics of their song 'Big Bottom' would be the subject of a science paper, but its true. The song - which deals with how much more sexually satisfying a large bottom on a woman can be...Read full story
Smirting costs lives, say ASH
(2007) In the latest anti-smoking move, the Chief Spokeman For ASH (Action on Smoking and Health) said today that the practice of "smirting" (that is, flirting outside a pub, whilst smoking) was an extreme danger to health.Read full story
BBC to honour Raoul Moat by building a moat around Broadcasting House
(2010) The BBC has announced it is to construct a moat around its central London offices as a tribute to Raoul Moat. The moat is to be filled with the crocodile tears cried by BBC and Guardian journalists, members of the Northumberland Police service and...Read full story
More GOP hooker woes as McCain aide busted for soliciting cop
(2007) Florida - (Ass Mess): More sex scandal woes are affflicting the Republican party with the news today that a Florida House of Representatives member was arrested yesterday and charged with soliciting a male undercover police officer.Read full story
Gordon Ramsey backs youth knife culture
(2008) As the number of knife attacks increase in the UK, celebrity chef Gordon F Ramsey has come to the defence of youths involved.Read full story
Jackie Chan wants the World Cup losing finalists Holland in his next movie
(2010) Ageing martial arts film star, Jackie Chan, has declared that he wants to use the Holland team from the final of the World Cup final to star in his next movie, World Cup Spy. According to Chan, the film star, he watched the World Cup and was espec...Read full story
Smoke free cigarettes are suitible for kids.
(2007) An amazing breakthrough in tobacco technology has led to the development of smoke free Cigarette.Read full story
Leeds Players Refuse To Move To Leeds
(2014) The entire Leeds United Squad has been transfer listed after they collectively refused to follow new owner Massimo Cellino's request of moving to Leeds. The plan was for the players to become a close-knit squad, capable of obtaining an ever elusiv...Read full story
Tracy Tynemouth Star In Back Alley Knee-Trembler Scandal
(2009) Doreen Skagg, who plays Brit answer to Hannah Montana, Tracy Tynemouth, the Geordie teen with corned beef legs and an affinity with pigeons, was embroiled in a bitter war of words with boyfriend of six days, Ryan DeMong. DeMong accused Skagg of "d...Read full story
African Women Campaign For Their Right To Mutilate
(2007) African women who practise the ancient art of 'Genital Mutilation' have spoken out against those who would put an end to their hobby, and have threatened to carry out further and more disgusting savagery. Members of London's Somali communities hav...Read full story
Pope denies miracle electric shock machine scam
(2007) Vatican - (Ass Mess): The Pope has denied allegations that he imported an electric shock machine "to make people believe he could pass on the Holy Spirit".Read full story
Simmonds: "Jafargholi has killed his career"
(2009) Kiss frontman, Gene Simmonds has said that Shaheen Jafargholi has killed any chances he may have had of a career by admitting to being half-Iranian. Outspoken Simmonds, who has repeated more times than a cucumber and pepper salad that he believes...Read full story
Katie Price Health Exclusive "My Amazing Breast Cancer Diet"
(2010) In this months celeb-fitness special, Tally-Ho! Magazine are taking an in-depth look at Katie Price's amazing new cancer diet and her incredible chemo-fitness programme which - with their proven results - have helped keep her on all the covers of the...Read full story