BBC Training Manual Leaked

Funny story: BBC Training Manual Leaked
A whistleblower has released an excerpt from a training manual used by the BBC to train 'News' broadcasters. Headed the "TEN KEY POINTS FOR ALL BROADCASTERS" it makes for disturbing reading. It reads as follows: 1: Never ever question what you, the newscaster, are expected to read. If you do, you question your employer, the BBC. And that can get you into trouble. Ask David Icke. Think of yourse...
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Review of Bethlehem Motel 24th December by Joseph

Funny story: Review of Bethlehem Motel 24th December by Joseph
TripAdvisor Review of Bethlehem Motel - 24th December -0001 We stayed at the Bethlehem Motel for one night on 24th December and wish we'd never bothered!! I should have known better with just a single star above the hotel sign. I was shattered and really just needed a place to rest my ass and heavily pregnant fiancée for the night. When we arrived the Motel owner told us we were in luck as h...
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A call in the day of a telephone-survey guy

Funny story: A call in the day of a telephone-survey guy
Hello Mr Barratt! This is Gavin from Surveysulike.web. Please could you spare us a few minutes of your very precious time (well, half-an-hour really) to take part in a survey about surveys? No need to swear Mr Barratt! Can I call you Robert? No, I can't call you "Winston effing Churchill", Mr Barratt. And how are you today? Suicidal, you say? That's great! Lovely weather, eh? Ah so it'...
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Farage and Assange: Ode to heartbreaking loyalty

Funny story: Farage and Assange: Ode to heartbreaking loyalty
Julian Assange and Nigel Farage Just the two of them, no entourage. A clandestine rendezvous on a spring morning, Unexpected, rushed, without warning. Secrets shared in breathless whispers, Poignant comradeship, laughter, tears. Half -spoken words, a pat on the back Subtle handshake, a knowing smile. Good old Nigel, a faithful mate. He will stand by you, Julian. Have faith!...
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A Victorian Brexit

Funny story: A Victorian Brexit
Lord Britton removed his top hat and entered the door of the gentleman's club. "Good day, Sir," said the butler holding the door. "It's good to have you back." The Lord smiled at the servant and thought what a lower class moron the man looked. He wondered if he could have the butler sacked, but he had other business with the club secretary, Count Percy Twatarse. Count Percy's bushy mousta...
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At last, euthanasia arrives in the UK!

Funny story: At last, euthanasia arrives in the UK!
The first branch of 'Cark It Right' will open the doors of its brand new, custom built suicide centre on St. Peter's Close on Monday. I spoke to the company M.D. Graham Reaper today. "Hello Graham, exciting time for you?" "Oh yes, we think it's a killer idea; people have been dying for an opportunity like this." "Erm..." "Sorry about the dark humour." "Don't you mean Christmas crack...
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Ten Things Women Look for in a Man

Funny story: Ten Things Women Look for in a Man
(1) When she is in heat... the traits of a killer carnivore. (2) When she is not in heat... the traits of a florist who grows his own flowers and/or to look smoochy on the dance floor. (3) Money. Shit loads of it. (4) Unanimous approval from her friends. (5) When in heat... he must boast an IQ of three, know how to grunt with abandon and have a hairy chest. (6) When not in heat... h...
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Dr Farquar and Happy Hour

Funny story: Dr Farquar and Happy Hour
Happy Hour? Only forty odd years ago the minimum drinking age was 21 years. Pubs opened and shut with strict split second timing. Drunken or antisocial behaviour were not tolerated. The 'Off licence' was the only place you could get alcohol out of pub hours. On a Sunday morning, it was impossible to get alcohol. Now we have access to booze 24-7. Supermarkets. Nightclubs. Duty free 'booze cr...
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Breaking News...

Brazil support vegetarians by flogging rotten meat!

In a perverse manner by "killing 2 cows with 1 meat hook" Brazil are now the "Messiah" of healthy living by flogging rotting meat to the world! A genial way to make the world vegetarian!
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Funny story: Terrorist Film All the Rage

Terrorist Film All the Rage

The documentary was released last week. Michael Moore calls it a "masterpiece". Sean Penn stars as ex-military specialist Commander Harry Bumsfelt who has won so many combat medals in Iraq that he will only appear with them in public if aided by a hoist. For years he campaigned and lectured for peace and armaments control in a threatened world but, now retired and running a small cigarette fact...
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Funny story: A Random Collection of Perry & Terrys Pet Hates with Pork Scratchings# 000352647

A Random Collection of Perry & Terrys Pet Hates with Pork Scratchings# 000352647

After years of research and a constant stream of psychotic experiences in the pub, Perry & Terry share what pisses them off. People who major in all the arts but can't draw the curtains. Critics who never complain after a blowjob. The humble accountant. They must count for something. When horses are called stupid names like "Transsexual" and you are forced to place an each way bet...
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Funny story: Dr Farquar and Growing Up

Dr Farquar and Growing Up

How did I get to fifty years old without one risk assessment or health action plan? Am I a total fuckwit? Many a time I ran through the house with a pair of scissors as a kid and am still here I am to tell the tale. When we were kids we did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video tape movies, no surround sound, no cellphones, no p...
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Funny story: Dr Farquar and The Generation Gap

Dr Farquar and The Generation Gap

How can life begin at forty? Surely it begins when you are born doesn't it? (Contributed by Alex Petty) Dr F. Life does not begin at forty. Ask John Lennon or Jill Dando. Why do teenagers express their burning desires to be different by dressing exactly the same? (Contributed by Alex Petty) Dr F. Discourage kids from spending your money on designer clothes and trainers. Have George Armani o...
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Funny story: Who are the Brexiters?

Who are the Brexiters?

They live amongst us. Some of them even look like us. So who are the strange but mad Brexit voters who have condemned the UK to years of ruin? TheSpoof's investigative reporter Geoff Stalin went to find out. Percy Shit is a Brexit voter who lives in Middlesborough. Every morning he wakes up and makes himself a cup of tea like any other normal Brit. But unlikely other Brits, Mr Shit does so bene...
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Funny story: Forrest Trump

Forrest Trump

My name's Forrest. Forrest Trump. My momma always told me, life is like a box of chocolates - you never know what you're gonna get. For me, grabbing pussy is like a box of chocolates, because you always end up with sticky fingers. I always knew what I was going to get. You see, my poppa was a multi-millionaire. I knew I would inherit that one day, so I never worried about getting a job or doing...
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Funny story: Trump: A lesson from history

Trump: A lesson from history

Donald Trump's election victory has been a shock to many, but not to students of American history. They know that the USA has been here before. In 1834, President Taylor Jeffmore was a very controversial candidate. In many ways he set a precedent for the new president. Jeffmore was born in 1782 to a millionaire rancher called Jeff Jeffmore. He grew up in the rough and tumble world of ruffs and...
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Funny story: Olaf the Consultant (819 - 851)

Olaf the Consultant (819 - 851)

Olaf was born somewhere in East Anglia; it is not clear where. He was a schemer and a bit of a rogue, but he did have an eye for opportunity. By the time he was twenty he had reputedly sold his parents' home and made off with the family jewels. They were, in fact, more like family stones. None of them had any significant value. His father, Cedric, had only stored them in a wooden box and told stor...
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JP Johnston
JP Johnston
Joined: 12 June 2009
Stories Written: 30

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