Shares in prison company continue to rise

Funny story: Shares in prison company continue to rise
If you're looking for a good stock to invest in, you could do a lot worse than Alabama State Penitentiary Conglomerates. Since they have expanded their operations beyond their eponymous state, they have seen profits rise by 400% and their workforce i...
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Dyson sucks hot air out of Europe!

Funny story: Dyson sucks hot air out of Europe!
Sir James Dyson and his vacuum cleaners have been at war with their European competitors over suction! He claims his cleaners suck better than German ones, and that even before Brexit! Sir James is out to prove to the rest of Europe that Brit suck...
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Satan Shows Up on Wall Street on the Floor of the New York Stock Exchange

Funny story: Satan Shows Up on Wall Street on the Floor of the New York Stock Exchange
New York, NY The Times Financial Editor wrote that he had been observing on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange, when he was surprised the see the Prince of Darkness, Satan himself, on the floor making a number of trades. Although most of th...
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Mountain Dew: "it'll tickle yore innards"

Funny story: Mountain Dew: "it'll tickle yore innards"
LANSING, MI --- Most of us have drunk a bottle or two of Mountain Dew. As we sipped the frosty green beverage, we probably never worried about it. After 7,200 gallons of the drink's concentrated syrup flooded the internal sewers of a Pepsico bottling...
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US Industries to Take Over EPA

Funny story: US Industries to Take Over EPA
Now that a dozen or more large US corporations will operate the newly privatized EPA, the future of US industry looks a lot brighter--even as the skies darken from the increased pollution. Scott Pruitt, token head of the EPA, and Monsaton CEO, Nic...
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Population unpopular with Targette

Funny story: Population unpopular with Targette
Minneapolis, Minnesota ---- As part of its "population control program," discount retailer Targette, which has already equipped its stores with transgender bathrooms, "because," as the company's CEO, Brian C. "Big Bri" Cornhole, explained to star rep...
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Discount Airline Companies Proliferate

Funny story: Discount Airline Companies Proliferate
As airline customers around the world rail against lowered standards in the airline industry, it seems we only have ourselves to blame for the mess we're in: Consumers continue to flock to discount airlines that only add to their discontent with the...
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USA Workers Declare Next Friday ME-FIRST DAY!

Funny story: USA Workers Declare Next Friday ME-FIRST DAY!
They got the idea for this when they recently saw an airliner get passengers off a plane to make room for airline employees who needed transport to a work destination. "Yes," one employee shouted, continuing, "Up with employees, down with the cus...
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Breaking News...

No fun being a burger bun on the buses!

UK buses are banning burgers and their owners from boarding! Obese munching burger people take up too many seats and skinnies are being squeezed on to bikes! Terrible for the economy!
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Funny story: Trump Administration Releases Money Saving Tips For New Trump Health Plan

Trump Administration Releases Money Saving Tips For New Trump Health Plan

Washington, DC Surgeon General Dr. Niles Crane has released a list of things Americans can do to reduce their health care costs under the new Trump health plan. 1. Stop going to the doctor so much Everybody should buy some bandages and other me...
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Funny story: ChastiTunes Serves Up Music You Hate

ChastiTunes Serves Up Music You Hate

Turning the business model on its head, a new streaming service purposely serves up the most hated songs and videos. So who would use such a service and for what purposes? As it turns out, ChastiTunes users are much more than musical masochist...
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Funny story: To avoid conflicts of interest, Donald Trump tweets he will move all his businesses to Russia

To avoid conflicts of interest, Donald Trump tweets he will move all his businesses to Russia

NEW YORK, N.Y. - In a nebulous correspondence sent from his cell phone via Twitter at 3:13 a.m. on Sunday, Jan. 1, 2017, Donald Trump tweeted: I will be moving each and every one of my businesses from the USA and other countries to Russia. Althou...
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Funny story: NaNa convenience store at high school career day

NaNa convenience store at high school career day

Representatives for the National convenience store NaNa spread throughout the Logan high school lunch room in their baseball caps and khaki trousers, name tags pinned prominently on their black polo shirt. "We are looking for slackers and sto...
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Funny story: Goldman Sachs to Purchase White House and U.S. Executive Branch in LBO

Goldman Sachs to Purchase White House and U.S. Executive Branch in LBO

New York - After several current and former members of investment banking powerhouse Goldman Sachs took over operation of the White House while President Trump tended to his interests in real estate, reality television shows and tweeting, the firm an...
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Funny story: Donald Trump Announces Grand Opening of Las Vegas "PornoLand"

Donald Trump Announces Grand Opening of Las Vegas "PornoLand"

Come one, come all. In a recent press conference, Donald Trump unveiled a major accomplishment that only a select few people knew about: an entirely adult-oriented and adult-themed amusement park on the outskirts of Las Vegas, NV. This reporter h...
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Funny story: Sales Of Tic Tacs Sour On Trump

Sales Of Tic Tacs Sour On Trump

After tapes surfaced where Donald Trump talked about using Tic Tacs before sexually assaulting women, sales of the breath mints have plummeted worldwide. Manny Charenselov, who runs a small newsstand in a downtown Denver office high rise, has noti...
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Funny story: Shit-Storm Jacket Introduced By Extreme Weather Outfitter

Shit-Storm Jacket Introduced By Extreme Weather Outfitter

Everest Outfitters, known for their extreme weather gear, introduced a new product this week. Most of their products protect against excessive cold, wet, wind, and heat. Everest became the first company to identify and market to an increasingly pe...
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Wrighty
Wrighty
Joined: 08 June 2008
Stories Written: 9

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