McDonut's burgers found to have traces of meat

Funny story: McDonut's burgers found to have traces of meat
Following claims by the McDonut's chain that their burgers are more nutritious than a rump steak, the International Standards Association conducted a scientific analysis of their burgers globally. The summarised results show the following slightly wo...
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Man Discovers Secret to Retail Revival

Funny story: Man Discovers Secret to Retail Revival
Who knew it could be so easy? One man has a unique solution to stop the onslaught of retail stores from shuttering their windows and locking their doors. He is formulating a follow-up plan to prevent tumbleweeds from rolling across barren mall pa...
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Giant US toy retailer buys up Chinese sex toy stock to avoid bankruptcy!

Funny story: Giant US toy retailer buys up Chinese sex toy stock to avoid bankruptcy!
It seems the retail toy world is in turmoil after a giant toy retailer announced it was bankrupt in the US and Canada and cannot compete with internet rivals that swim up the Amazon and Target other Wally Martyrs! So, after hearing that China has...
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Some Teachers Actually Go into Teaching for the Money

Funny story: Some Teachers Actually Go into Teaching for the Money
Apparently, it's the result of low expectations and outright confusion. "I used to work in Walmart," said one untenured teacher, two years into the profession. "I get at least twice the pay, but I also don't get the 5% discount, so it's a wash. I...
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Pizza Parlor Panic!

Funny story: Pizza Parlor Panic!
Montgomery Ala.: Creation scientist have issued a dire warning against eating pizza. Ford Cellars, of the Bible Center for Spiritual Research said they have evidence that consumption of the cuisine may lead to pedophila. "We've kept a close e...
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Trump Promises Cheap Accidental Death Insurance to the 22 Million Cut Off Under His Proposed Health Plan

Funny story: Trump Promises Cheap Accidental Death Insurance to the 22 Million Cut Off Under His Proposed Health Plan
Washington, D.C. "I'm telling you," said Trump. "This is a real good deal. I've gotten one of the companies I own to offer accidental death insurance at a FANTASTIC rate to anyone who has lost their health insurance!" "This is really a once-in-a-l...
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Should Mermaids Make More Money Than Mermen?

Funny story: Should Mermaids Make More Money Than Mermen?
"Absolutely not," said one merman. "I mean, mermaids are a dime a dozen, not rare or unique at all, so they just deserve a standard rate, right?" He continued, "Mermen, on the other hand, are unique and rare, and deserve to be paid premium rates."...
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Transylvania Tourism Booms Since Melania Trump Was Recalled

Funny story: Transylvania Tourism Booms Since Melania Trump Was Recalled
Since news broke that First Lady Melania Trump was reanimated from the dead in Transylvania, thousands of people have flocked to the area to sight see and to take a tour of Cryotech Re-animators, Melania Trump's birthplace. Most affected is the to...
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Breaking News...

Elton John Demands Royalty from Trump Over Using the Term Rocket Man

Kim Jong Un said he would rather be Capt. Fantastic, Levon, or even Honky Cat more than Rocket Man.
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Funny story: To avoid conflicts of interest, Donald Trump tweets he will move all his businesses to Russia

To avoid conflicts of interest, Donald Trump tweets he will move all his businesses to Russia

NEW YORK, N.Y. - In a nebulous correspondence sent from his cell phone via Twitter at 3:13 a.m. on Sunday, Jan. 1, 2017, Donald Trump tweeted: I will be moving each and every one of my businesses from the USA and other countries to Russia. Althou...
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Funny story: Trump Cabinet of Billionaires Decide Americans Can Not Be Trusted to Handle Money

Trump Cabinet of Billionaires Decide Americans Can Not Be Trusted to Handle Money

Washington, DC After the Trump Cabinet's latest meeting, they all found out that they together they all possess 68% of the wealth of the nation. "Once we realized that idiots like us make more money in a day than most Americans make in a year, we...
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Funny story: MAD Magazine, The Onion, The Spoof Discuss Possible Merger

MAD Magazine, The Onion, The Spoof Discuss Possible Merger

Still reeling from a drop in ratings, attributed to their misplaced confidence in a Clinton victory in the US presidential election, America's three top-rated satire publications have initiated tentative merger talks in an effort to shore up their pr...
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Funny story: Boss who expects to always get his own way cannot understand why people hate him

Boss who expects to always get his own way cannot understand why people hate him

In business news in Swanage (other medium sized places are available) a Mr Richard Potato does not understand why people in the office think he is a bit of a prick. The underwhelming figure of Mr Potato 52, said 'I know that the rest of the office...
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Funny story: Trump Will Dismantle Obamacare and Start Trumpcare

Trump Will Dismantle Obamacare and Start Trumpcare

Trump Tower, NY Trump announced that he will fulfill one of his campaign promises right away. "We will start up Trump Hospitals to provide cut-rate health care for poor people. Then they will not have to be in the same waiting rooms with people th...
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Funny story: Donald Trump's Start-Up Company, Kentucky Klepto*Graph, to Save Struggling Kentucky Town

Donald Trump's Start-Up Company, Kentucky Klepto*Graph, to Save Struggling Kentucky Town

OLE PLAYING POSSUM, Ky. - Donald Trump is starting up a small industry in this small Kentucky town, once a coal mining center for the local area. About a decade ago, 300 high-paying coal mining jobs were lost here and the small village has seen bette...
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Funny story: Goldman Sachs to Purchase White House and U.S. Executive Branch in LBO

Goldman Sachs to Purchase White House and U.S. Executive Branch in LBO

New York - After several current and former members of investment banking powerhouse Goldman Sachs took over operation of the White House while President Trump tended to his interests in real estate, reality television shows and tweeting, the firm an...
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Funny story: Mountain Dew: "it'll tickle yore innards"

Mountain Dew: "it'll tickle yore innards"

LANSING, MI --- Most of us have drunk a bottle or two of Mountain Dew. As we sipped the frosty green beverage, we probably never worried about it. After 7,200 gallons of the drink's concentrated syrup flooded the internal sewers of a Pepsico bottling...
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Erskin Quint
Erskin Quint
Joined: 15 October 2007
Stories Written: 149

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