A miracle happened in Holland today as a mysterious woman riding a mountain bike flew over the handlebars and landed in a cow field right in the crap.
The miracle was the fact that Holland just happens to be as flat as their famous pancakes and has no mountains so what the hell was she doing riding a mountain bike in the first place and why did she fall off?
Here her explanation: "I was riding my mountain bike with my wooden clogs on, stoned out of my brains and passing a cow field, when they mooed; I was so shocked by their mooing that my clogs got caught in the pedals, my long traditional Dutch dress got caught up in the spokes and I flew head over tits into the cow shit, gottverdammt (in English; God damn it)!"
The Dutch police are investigating the incident and the Dutch government are planning a mountain bike ban whilst stoned in Holland because it's nonsense, there are no mountains, but plenty of joints!
As for the very eccentric woman, she's planning on moving to Bavaria, Germany; at least she can ride her mountain bike in a place where it belongs!