Written by The Incredible Sulk
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Topics: Colonel Gaddafi

Saturday, 10 September 2011

Libyan ex-leader and tyranny enthusiast Colonel Muammar Gaddafi has announced his intention to attempt to break the world record for hide and seek.

Despite their joy at the Colonel's recent fall from power, most Libyans I spoke to seem to be wishing him luck in his attempt. However, as this reporter does not speak Arabic, the meaning of the angry mob's shouting and firing AK47s into the air could have meant something different.

Although the record is officially held by Osama Bin Laden, several commentators still consider Elvis still to be unofficially in the competition and heading the field by some twenty four years.

Speaking from, well, we don't know where, but speaking via Skype yesterday, the Colonel said;'Well, you know, those cats Saddam and Osa B, they did good, you know? But I reckons I can smash their pussy hide and seeking buts. I mean, you seen how cheap Saddam went with that hole in the ground, man? And that beard? Shabby, dude, shabby. I'm gonna be seeking me out some bad ass hiding places. No holes for Colonel G. Safe'.

On receiving the news during a press conference yesterday, UN General Secretary Ban Ki-moon commented, 'Say whaaaaaaat?'. Later an official statement read: 'Gaddafi, you beeatch; we is coming to get you. Ready or not.'

A representative from the Book of World Records was unavailable for comment as he apparently is also successfully competing in an attempt on the same record.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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