Fluff found nestling between the toes of an Englishman living in the Thai capital of Bangkok was said to contain so much muck and filth, that scientists, if they ever found out about it and could be bothered to investigate, would describe it as 'toxic', claim I.
The fluff, resembling a comparatively small bundle of tumbleweed, was discovered by myself as I stooped to pick up some dropped soap whilst having a shower at my apartment in the city on Thursday.
Initially shocked, I pulled the mass from between my tootsies, and placed it on a napkin to get a closer look. It was only then did I fully realise what a horror story had been happening right under my very nose as I went about my daily business.
With a texture of dirty plasticine, the sticky, pungent blob looked like a dollop of liquorice, and I quickly dispatched it into the toilet by a process known as 'flicking'.
Then I stuck my finger in my lughole to see what I could find therein.