Written by Ellis Ian Fields

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Friday, 26 August 2011

image for NASA Advice On Avoiding Visit By Klaatu And Gort
Quick! Scarper! It's the Galactic filth!

Earth civilization had better clean up its act if we want to avoid a visit from the galactic police!

Scientists at NASA claim that reducing our carbon emissions could prevent a pre-emptive alien attack - similar to the one portrayed in classic movie The Day The Earth Stood Still.

(That'll be the 1951 one with Michael Rennie, not the crap one with Keanu Reeves from a couple of years ago - Ed.)

In a joint statement issued with Pennsylvania State University, the space boffins suggest that extraterrestrials monitoring the changes in earth's atmosphere might see them as evidence of a civilization growing out of control, leading them to taking drastic action.

Said a spokesman: "We don't want anyone like that Klaatu coming down here with his giant robot, Gort, do we?

"Remember that? Well scary. It was only that bird, Patricia Neal, shouting 'Gort! Klaatu barada nikto' that saved us then. Who knows if that would work a second time?

"We gotta clean up the planet - and fast!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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