Written by NerdInBriefs
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Topics: David Cameron, Libya

Thursday, 25 August 2011

image for David Cameron Encourages Libyans to Loot Gadaffi's Homes and Favourite Shops

British leaflets are being dropped across Tripoli written in both Arabic and Eton English to encourage locals to loot Gadaffi's homes and the shops that are allied with his hated regime in order to add further shame and humiliate the retreating president, who has all but disappeared from view. Concerns are being raised about the real intentions behind this, and a looming war between British Museum and Louvre over the future of Libya.

Instructions have also been giving on the places to loot along with the best way to be able to get all the goods back to their houses, future trends in the world of interiors and how to sell these looted goods on to the international market.

The British government felt that what the population needed after enduring a civil war over the last six months, which saw the citizens of Tripoli living in utter fear, was to exercise the ghost of the past and psychologically break free through this cleansing ritual. Having consulted various leading experts who have worked in countries which have suffered years of dictatorship, attacking the symbols of power and to take items that they had long been denied is seen as an important way for the society to move forward.

The reason for picking Eton English was so that these leaflets would not be able to be used back in the UK where this dialect is no longer in common use, but is still understood by the top brass in the UK establishment.

UK groups are up in arms that the government is sanctioning looting in Libya whilst condemning this in London. Cameron felt there was a simple and perfect answer for this, that in Britain they have never had it so good.

Law abiding Libyans who have found the leaflets have reacted with surprise as they wanted to get back to work to rebuild their country. "We knew that Britain has become lawless and so it makes sense that they are teaching us how to loot and riot. We would never have thought of doing this."

Conspiracy theorist have seized on this and pointed to secret meetings between the British Museum and the British Government, ever since the Libyan rising began, and that amongst the looters are British operatives who are pretending to be locals and stealing antiquities and artefacts to order.

The Louvre in Paris feels once again the Brits are beating them in the scramble for Africa and have ordered President Sarkozy to send warships to the Libya coast, to cut off the Brits trying to leave Libya with bits of Roman ruins, carpets and other well ancient stuff.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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