Written by Skoob1999
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Wednesday, 24 August 2011

image for Sky News Reporter Alex Crawford Rushed To Tripoli Hospital
I Had The Same - Told The Doctors I Didn't Want A Fez

Reports currently indicate that Sky News reporter, Alex Crawford, has been rushed to hospital in Tripoli in the back of a pickup truck, with her protective helmet stuck firmly to her head.

As Gaddafi loyalists fought a desperate rearguard action, after being routed from the Gaddafi compound, plucky Sky News reporter Crawford, apparently got into difficulties with her helmet - which suddenly appeared to be welded to her head - as she completed a live broadcast from Freedom Square.

She was hastily loaded on the back of the pickup truck and ferried to Tripoli's only functioning hospital by rebel forces.

A senior surgeon at the hospital quickly diagnosed the problem:

"It was something to do with the chinstrap," Doctor Barnsley Forecourt, a foreign national, told reporters. "It's chaos in here right now, what with people getting shot by snipers and stuff. But fortunately we were able to treat Ms Crawford almost immediately, and without fuss. We simply cut the chinstrap with a boning knife, and then twisted the helmet around for a bit, until it came loose, and eventually popped off. A bit like twisting the cap off a jar, if you will. You can get terrible trouble with a chinstrap, because if you fasten it too tightly, the helmet can bond to your head as if it's been superglued there. We advised Ms Crawford to use a slightly larger helmet in future, and not to get overenthusiastic with the chinstrap. We also gave her some factor 28 sunblock coz she's looking a bit sunburnt. We've got tons of that shit. But we're a bit short on donated blood and painkilling drugs."

Apparently Ms Crawford was then sent on her way, none the worse for wear.

News International denied it knows Gaddafi's whereabouts. Even though nobody asked.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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