Written by IainB
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Tuesday, 23 August 2011

image for Colonel Gaddafi stripped of his rank
Just like that he's a civilian

The first act of the new rebel leadership in Libya is to strip Gaddaffi of his military rank.

"It's been ridiculous," said, Haffa Sigarat, one rebel leader. "I've only been in the military for three weeks, and I'm already a major. He's been a colonel for twenty years at least. You can't have a colonel running a country. He should have made himself a brigadier or a general by now. It's just one more of his crimes. The man's a melting chocolate teapot!"

Gadafi has not been seen for a number of weeks now, leading some international experts to believe he has escaped the country.

"Our current best bet is that he's escaped to Liberia," said Ken Tish, who has been analysing the information coming out of the middle east for the CIA, MI5 and DFS.

This information has prompted the ransacking of Tripoli Library.

"If he's hiding in a library, we can't find him," said ex-Navy Seal and head of the CIA's operations, Saul Noone. "But that's not unusual. We spent fifteen years looking in caves for Bin Laden, and it turned out he was in a semi-detached on a housing estate near Delhi."

With the stripping of Gadaffi's rank comes other punishments, such as the loss of his military pension, no longer being able to live in his army supplied house and his children not automatically becoming officers themselves. There are also benefits.

"If he's not a colonel," said major Rhoda of the Libyan military elite force, "then he can't boss me about any more. Colonel is a higher rank than major, isn't it? He's just an ordinary citizen now. Seeing how our last order was to shoot any ordinary citizen we feel like, it means I can shoot him. The melty freakoid."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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