Written by jd Balderdash
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Topics: Pope, Christmas

Monday, 26 December 2005

image for The Pope gets Whoopie Cushioned, Vatican Furious
"Was that me?"

"It was so quiet you could hear a Rosary drop" said one witness after Pope Benedict XVI sat down for Christmas Dinner and a loud PFFFFFT rang out. Vatican security is optimistic that they will catch the prankster who keeps playing practical jokes on the Holy Father. Last week toy snakes sprang out of the Pope's can of Holy Water knocking his Pope hat right off his head straight into the cheese fondue.

Some suggest that the perpetrator is Channel 4 TV, the same folks from Britain who made the BIG mistake of spraying Tom Cruise with water from a fake microphone last summer.

Channel 4 TV, kind of the Candid Camera for the 21st century routinely secretly films innocent celebrities as Channel 4 plays hilarious practical jokes on them. Vatican security has yet to locate any hidden cameras in the Vatican but are cautiously on-guard.

One prankster who DID get caught isn't talking. Two weeks ago he shook hands with the Pope who had to say 3 Hail Mary's after the prankster's joy buzzer went off in the Pope's hand again knocking his Pope hat straight into the cheese fondue.

"These seem to be mostly mealtime attacks" one Vatican guard said adding, "that's a start .. a clue. "

"If someone is secretly filming these antics they will be prosecuted" Vatican officials said. "The Pope is not at all amused although he did get a mlld chuckle out of the fake bullet holes found in his bedroom window next to his Pope hat closet.

Guests at the Vatican's Christmas dinner pretended nothing had happened after the Pope sat down at the table and the loud PFFFFFFT rang out, reverberating eerily throughout the Papal dining room.

One guest said, "I wanted to laugh but it being the Pope I knew I shouldn't. Then all of a sudden a great big GUFFAW built up in my loins and I had to get up and flee the dining hall. I barely made it out of the door before the GUFFAW exploded out of my stomach, up through my larynx and out of my mouth. Before I knew it I was flat on my back reeling with laughter. I'm so ashamed. Excuse me but I think another Guffaw is bubbling up .. lol !!!!!!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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