Written by queen mudder
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Thursday, 18 August 2011

image for Armavia Armenian Airlines dumps Gérard Depardieu for taking the piss on rival carrier
The Irish plane turned a gnatspiss green after the soaking

Yerevan, Armenia - French big nose and Cyrano de Bergerac actor Gérard Depardieu has had a TV advertising contract pulled following an incident aboard an Irish incontinental - er...intercontinental! - airline.

The 62 year-old was enroute to Dublin from Paris before bladder tragedy struck prompting him to find relief on a City Airtours carpet.

Someone in Cattle Class caught the incident on video and leaked it to his Armenian sponsors.

The triple-A carrier whose onboard facilities are whimsically named 'standard' (ie business class) and 'poor' (economy) awarded Depardieu a multi-million dollar contract last year to promote their Sukhoi Superjet on Euronews TV channel ads.

The fly-by-wire plane has done away with onboard loos and replaced much reviled WC cubicles with an innovative - and sturdy/waterproof! - 'sick bag' equivalent.

At the press of a button this slides into position on passenger seats so that immediate relief is at hand without any cumbersome trip down the plane aisle.

Another button then automatically seals the piss bag and sends it to storage in a custom-built underfloor dumpster.

A spokesperson for the Armenian airline said today there was widespread feeling that Depardieu 'had been taking the piss' with his extra-curricular contract violation.

A copy of the Irish plane video can be seen on the YouBoob! Channel No 5.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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