Written by Moys Kenwood
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Topics: Thailand

Tuesday, 16 August 2011

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Splat!

Police in the Thai capital of Bangkok say that the discovery last week of two bodies in an Englishman's apartment in the city are of 'absolutely no interest whatsoever' to them, as the corpses are those of two mosquitoes.

Moys Kenwood, 49, originally from Hull in East Yorkshire, spotted the victims when he awoke on Friday morning, and immediately notified the authorities, whereupon he was ignored.

It's thought that the mosquitoes suffered from the effects of flying into the blades of a fan whilst trying to insert their probosci into Kenwood's flesh as he slept.

It's not the first time that deaths have occurred in the apartment. Only last week, an ant was squashed nearby when it had the audacity to crawl on Kenwood's leg, and in July, a small cockroach died when a telephone book accidentally fell upon it as it scurried across the floor.

A spokesman for mosquitoes said:

"The blades of a fan are often the end of us. We would do well to stay well away from them, but, unfortunately, some of us will never learn."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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