Written by mikewadestr
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Saturday, 6 August 2011

image for Australia Challenges Russia in Space Race with Kangaroos
I saw something just like this when an old lady pulled up her dress and... never mind.

In an effort to compete with the Russian space program, Australian prime minister, Julia Gillard has announced that Australia will ramp up their current space program.

The world's initial reaction to Australia's announcement was:

"I had no fucking idea that Australia had a space program. What do they do? Send kangaroos into space?"

Surprising enough, that is exactly what the Australians want to do.

Send kangaroos into space.

At a press conference, Gillard said:

"It is unfortunate that the US has gotten their butt kicked by the Russians in the space race. But, what do you expect from a country in which 95 percent of the people cannot even name their 50 states, more or less their capitals. Although about 95 percent of them can name every contestant that appeared on American Idol".

"You go figure".

Continuing Gillard said:

"We have found that kangaroos work really well in space. The kangaroos are not only good astronauts but, they can, also, leap from a space ship with such force that it will send them into hyper-space, which will allow us to reach other planets and solar systems in a fraction of a minute".

The United States reaction to Gillard's annoucement was very strong and vocal.

Tea Party candidate, Sarah Palin weighed in by stating:

"Prime Minister Gilligan is wrong about the US. Heck, 95 percent of the US citizens can name all 86 states as well as all 97 of their capitals. The Skipper never should have let Prime Minister Gilligan off of the island in the first place. Maybe she should have listened to the Professor instead of ogling Ginger".

Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton added:

"Where the fuck is Australia? Is that in like, southern Canada or something like that?"

US Vice President Barack Obama wanted to know if the kangaroos could hit jump shots, John Boehner wanted to know if they could stop him from crying and Jerry Dunsten, who is the butcher for US Presidential Candidate Freddy the Frog asked:

"Are kangaroos good eatin'.

More on this story as it breaks.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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