Written by Jaggedone
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Thursday, 28 July 2011

image for English man arrested in Tuscany for reading hard-core porno in public instead of Sunday times supplement!
A Tuscanen hard-labour sentence for born-again hetero's after being gay all of their lives!

An English man was arrested in the famous, Piazza del Duomo, for reading hard-core porno instead of his usual Sunday Times supplement.

He was thrown into the dungeons under the Ponte Vecchio bridge amongst the rats and after several rounds of medieval torture by the local Caribinieri next day was dragged in front of the judge, a Catholic paedophile.

The judge scorned him and sentenced him to 2 weeks torture by forcing him to look non-stop at Michelangelo's David in his balls and chain with match-sticks between his eye-lids.

Here the English man's forced confession:

"I am sorry for what I have done, I am a born-again heterosexual after being 'gay' for most of my life and was just reading a sizzling hot girly, lesbian porno mag, because I thought it would help me with my reformation."

"Normally I read the Sunday Times supplement in public, but thought it was too pornographic for the Piazza del Duomo, excusé, por favori!"

The judge was lenient with the Englishman because he had seen the light, reformed and was going "straight". Italians despise homosexuals (apart from their Catholic priests and dodgy judges) and usually torture them in dungeons by sawing them in two whilst still alive, so the sentence he received, albeit, for a born-again hetero, was "hard" enough!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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