In an out of character act of selfless charity, Rupert Murdoch has offered to pay unlimited legal costs for the Norwegian mass murderer, Anders Breivik, according to the respected Oslo tabloid News Of The Fjords
Murdoch was seemingly ecstatic that a big enough news story had come along to remove himself, his offspring, News International and News Corp from the front pages of practically every tabloid and broadsheet around the world. He was also described as being somewhat relieved that David Cameron's attention will now be diverted to investigating every nutty far-right group in the UK, including the Scout movement and the Women's Institute.
A source not remotely close to Murdoch told us, "It's not such a big deal. The guy is a space cadet and is gonna plead guilty anyway. And besides, Murdoch's no longer paying legal costs for an ex-employee and ex-private investigator. He's got cash to splash".