After years of thinking beer was made of nothing but fruit juices and water, Dmitry Medvedev has been forced to change his mind by the World Health Organisation. The passing of a bill by the Russian President which accepts beer is an alcoholic beverage is a bitter blow for Fosters.
The Australian firm were advertising their weak, dreadful lager in the country, with the slogan, 'Its nicer than water, and doesn't destroy your liver, mate.'
Many other firms, such as Carlsberg and Becks, have criticised the move from the WHO, with CEO's quoted as saying 'Who are you?' and many of them claiming that 'This would never have happened in My Generation!'
However, contrary to the popular belief that 'The Kids Are Alright' The World Health Organisation (WHO) believes that the drinking culture of Russia is already past crisis level. Speaking from Moscow, Medvedev told our reporter, the talented and vivacious Taribo West that,
'You're m.. (hic).. my best fuc..(hic)..ing mate.'
West also reported that no sooner had the immortal words left the mans mouth, than he had grabbed the barmaids arse and chundered over the bar, claiming that it was 'tactical.'
More to follow when Russia sobers up...