Written by IN SEINE
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Friday, 15 July 2011

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Alabama Smith

After watching an episode of the Life of Mohammed shown on BBC2 this week, an archaeologist from Barnsley, known as Alabama Smith (not to be confused with Indiana Jones) saw something which sent shivers down his spine. He had seen something which was identical to what he had experienced earlier in the week.

Namely a vision when he was sleeping and he felt as though he was being strangled. It was there that he heard a voice saying, "read"; then once again the voice said, "read!" And then a third time, the voice said, "read". Alabama told In Seine News: "I feel such an idiot, because I did not know what to say - I should have asked the voice what should I read?" Of course, I had no wife to guide me, but nevertheless I decided to investigate through the Internet.

It was at this juncture that I decided to investigate the Muslim faith and I discovered that the Kabaa was the big black Tardis in the middle of Mecca. Some people think that it is the black box flight recorder from a spaceship, whilst others believe it to be a landfill site for gods of various colours, shapes, sizes.

I had the idea of going inside this cover of this shrine to see if there were 360 gods lying idolly by, and when I did so, I could only find 359. This alarming discovery meant that they were being told a lie!

However, I discovered what the vision was all about: Mohammed had mistakenly thrown in Allah along with the others and I was able to free him. Being a god on his own, Allah thanked me - he seems an awfully nice chap although it might be a bit lonely for him being by himself but then again, he might need some space. He actually thanked me for setting him free!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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