Donald Trump, windblown American entrepreneur, announced yesterday that he is in negotiations to buy the Parthenon from the economcally-challenged government of Greece.
According to reliable sources who choose to remain anonymous because it could mean the abduction of their first male-child, the Greeks, in order to secure a financial bailout from the Europeans and the IMF, must sell off much of their assets including historical and cultural ones. That was the reason for approaching Mr. Trump.
At yesterday's news conference, the silk-suited Trump announced, "Yeah boys, the Parthenon will be my most perfect hotel for high-rollers. Of course, I'll need to alter it a little in order to make it more successful that it ever was in its 3000-year existence."
When asked to expound, Trump added, "Well, it's a little too airy and so I need to wall in the spaces between those columns. And it's too white. So, it'll need a paint-job from top to bottom. And don't forget the roof. We need a good roof. Maybe one that's retractable depending on weather. Maybe even a roof-top pool with a waterfall.
"I've already talked with the Brits and I can buy back those Elgin Marbles. I'm thinking of turning them into little coffee tables in the hotel restaurant. They just need a little putty to close up the cracks."
At the conclusion of the press conference, this reporter asked Mr. Trump the name of the hotel. He said with a wry smile on his visage, "Oh, it'll be the Trump Palace Athena. Get it?"