Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Topics: Terrorism, Toilet, moscow

Wednesday, 8 June 2011

image for Moscow Plans Bomb-Proof Public Toilets
How safe is your local?

Moscow authorities are to install public lavatories that can withstand a terrorist bomb blast.

The move follows a spate of Islamist terrorist attacks on the Russian capital in recent years.

And in a city where winter temperatures can fall to well below zero, the unisex WCs will never be colder than 16C. A user will be allowed to stay inside for 30 minutes before the door opens automatically.

"Lavatory functions on its own. Ees vandal and terroreest-proof," said a spokesman for the city.

"Ees imporrtant people of Moscva feel they cen releaf themselfs wizout fear of being blown up by terroreests. Ees not good to be heffing peese or odder ven bomb goes off... no-vun vants to be caught viz trousers or knickers down, eh?

"For safe micturate - come to Moscva!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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