Written by Hydrogen Balloon
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Wednesday, 1 June 2011

image for Virgin Mary Divorces Saint Joseph
Ready To Move On

Reno, NV - The parents of Jesus popped into Reno over the weekend for a quickie divorce. The Virgin Mary has had enough of living with Saint Joseph, and is ending their long marriage. She gets custody of Jesus, and Saint Joseph gets to visit Him on weekends.

The Virgin Mary says the marriage failed because of infidelity. She caught Saint Joseph fooling around with "that slut" Mary Magdalene in his carpentry studio. Saint Joseph was showing Mary Magdalene his buzz saw, and the Virgin Mary got upset.

Saint Joseph says he's divorcing the Virgin Mary because she's frigid. The hard-working carpenter says the Virgin Mary really is still a virgin, and she "refuses to do it."

"I don't know how Jesus was born, it's a miracle to me." said Saint Joseph. "I'm not sure He's my kid, he doesn't look like me." said Saint Joseph.

The Virgin Mary said her ex was lying, and it all didn't matter anymore. The divorce went through, and now the two can go their separate ways.

The Virgin Mary says that she might hang around in Reno for awhile. She plans to play the slots, hang out in a few bars, and hang out with the Osmonds if they're in town.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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