In the light of the recent Cucumber attacks in Germany we understand that tests and experiments are being carried out in secret, using vegetables.
Using minority groups as test subjects, they are being exposed to various vegetables being used with deadly force.
Colonel Hermann Göring (no relation) is in charge of the scheme. "Dit you know for example, zat sticking ein radish up each nostril vill stop ze person from breazing normally? And srowing aubergine's at a man's genitals vill cause him to fall over in ze agony? You haf seen ze success of ze poison cucumber. Ve are simply taking sings to a new level."
"Again, for example," says Göring, warming to his task, "if you srow a big pumpkin at ze head very hard, ze man may become a vegetable himself. Sometimes ve hear zem moaning in ze cellar. Most amusing."