Written by queen mudder

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Tuesday, 31 May 2011

image for Pippa Middleton eyes Nadal's awesome ballgame
Rafa girlfriend Maria 'Xisca' every inch as stunning as Pippa in a bikini comparison website poll

Paris - "You're not supposed to say 'Her Nipples Stood Out Like Perky Ripe Acorns' as Pippa eyed Nadal's thrusting ballgame," a microblogger has warned adoring tennis fans.

"It's more like 'Succulent Raspberries In The Summer Sunshine', guys!" another Twatted as Roland Garros pics of La Middleton's T-shirt suddenly went viral.

Crowds at the French Open championships were left reeling from the nudge-nudge/wink-wink whispers as svelte young Pip watched Rafael Nadal thrash Ivan Ljubicic in yesterday's fourth round needle match.

But the World Number One seed seemed pretty oblivious to anything other than his precious balls as repeated line-calls queried his service game.

Off-court Nadal's love life sees stunning dark-eyed Majorcan beauty Maria Francisca 'Xisca' Perello firmly ensconced as the Number One favorite.

Her tanned bikini body is every inch as magnificent as anything ever posted of Pippa's beachside tackle, swimsuit experts warned on the web today.

"Pippa's got zero chance of prising Rafa from the arms of his girlfriend," an editorial in Italy's Corriere Della Que-Sera-Sera commented today.

"And at 24 years of age he's not that bothered about 'older' women like Ms Middleton who's 28th birthday is a few weeks away."

Last month the socialite's face was compared to one of the Duke and Duchess of Windsor's pug pooches as folds of neckline skin suggested a canine shag - er...sag!

Maria Sharapova is is 23.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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