Written by Gabhan O'Buachalla
Print this

Monday, 30 May 2011

image for Women to put Condoms on Cucumbers
Do you want condoms with that?

The relationship between humans and vegetables is a long and complex one.

As many as 1 in 5 cucumbers are purchased for use not as food but as a sex toy. A fact that was possibly the best kept secret of the cucumber industry. However, the e-coli outbreak in Germany has lead to some serious public health concerns.

"There is often a temptation for people to play with their food, especially when they are reluctant to eat it"

"If you are tempted to use a cucumber please use a condom, you just never know where that cucumber has been!" - Helga von Kraut, Institute of Vegitarian Sexually Transmitted Diseases

Sales of cucumbers have recently fell by 80% following a recent E-coli scare in Germany.

Make Gabhan O'Buachalla's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 2 multiplied by 1?

9 2 21 8
35 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more