Written by queen mudder
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Monday, 30 May 2011

image for Iceland volcanoes on high alert for Wednesday's apocalyptic solar eclipse
Dozens of volcanoes on Iceland's Mid-Atlantic Ridge and North American Plate may blow their tops

Reykjavik - "As seismological blow jobs go this one's the biggie," astrologers are warning about Wednesday's occultation.

"Think 'Vesuvius' plus 10,000 years' worth of seismic celibacy!"

A dozen Icelandic volcanoes may be affected as the eclipse's penumbral path cuts a swath from Arctic oil deposits to Pyongyang's No 1 nuclear reactor.

At worst eruption risk is Grímsnes, dormant since the apocalyptic solar eclipse of 3,500BC that occluded five planets in the sign of Cancer.

And Prestahnúku, inactive since 7,550, may also be prone since a Virgo lunar eclipse last saw it blow its top during Iceland's legendary first-ever financial crisis.

This bankrupted forerunner institutions to the Knights Templar forex scams that saw Papal coffers bankroll the dreaded Spanish Inquisition.

Wednesday's eruptions could be just as bad.

Fallout from the zodiacal trigger may also take in nation states lying in the eclipse's shadow path.

Alaska - and its moronic ex-Governor Sarah Palin - are likely to be most affected along with Northern Canada, Greenland, Norway, Western Serbia, Northern China, North Korea and Japan.

The celestial event is a grim echo of the January 4 2011 eclipse that triggered what's being called the Arab Sting (sic).

This has seen huge uprisings in Middle Eastern states lying in the Capricorn occultation's own shadow path.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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