Written by Morse
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Wednesday, 25 May 2011

image for Dimmest Bulb in the Box: Obama Presents Queen with Case of Compact Fluorescent Lightbulbs!
Obama Continues to Throw Even Less Light on the Subject with CFL 'gift' to Queen!

Following his flawed toast to the Queen of England following his nostalgic revisiting of his roots in Ireland, President O'bama continued his clueless knowledge of International Protocol by presenting Her Majesty with a gift wrapped case of CFL's from General Electric!

With incandescent lightbulbs being mandated out of existence starting next year, and with Al Gore's "Save the Planet" hedge fund heavily invested in General Electric, a major CFL manufacturer, the pricey replacements also come with their own personal warning label:

CAUTION, MADE IN CHINA WITH MERCURY. USE AT OWN RISK . FOLLOW HAZMAT DISPOSAL GUIDELINES IN GOVERNMENT LIGHT BULB DISPOSAL (LBD) MANUAL AVAILABLE
THROUGH LIBRARY OF CONGRESS. SUBSTANTIAL FINES FOR VIOLATIONS NOT TO MENTION DEATH OR SERIOUS INJURY MAY RESULT.

Starting next year 100 watt bulbs will be outlawed, and must be replaced with CFL's costing up to $50 a piece.

Scientists in Germany have already warned users of the potential hazard of escaped mercury vapors in the case of a dropped bulb.

In the US studies in Maine indicated a broken bulb emits 100 times more than the allowed
level of mercury. Additional studies urge that lightbulbs NOT be used in lamps near carpets, for if they break, removal practices require that the section of rug impacted must be removed and disposed of properly, which requires they be bagged by an approved, and expensive HAZMAT team and trucked to an obscure salt mine 'somewhere in the mountains of Utah!"

In Russia, PM Vladimir Putin is said to be 'intrigued' as he begins his quest for yet another Presidency saying he expects to 'throw some new light on his detractors!"

In the UK Health & Safety bureaucrats have already warned that used bulbs placed in Wheelie Bins will not only not be picked up, but will result in the entire neighborhood being cordoned off and treated like a nuclear waste zone. Read CHERNOBYL...right down to the erie music played through CCTV cams fitted with Bose Speakers endlessly playing
"Candle in the Wind!"

Needless to say, the Queen was left speechless after the gift, especially when a team of heavily protected Biological Warfare Disposal members deftly and swiftly removed the President's offering, placed them in a lead container, and shipped them off to an undisclosed location 'somewhere in Scotland.'

Presidential Protocol Officer , Lucretia el Mugabe Johnson, said she couldn't understand the Palace's reaction.

"We worked especially hard this time not to insult the Queen, " she said slightly piqued," we thought she would appreciate our gift...after all, it can't be pleasant tying to read at night in these drafty old piles by candlelight...she needs to enter the 21st Century, daft old biddy!"

Even Princess Eugenie , on hand to witness the gift exchange, was embarrassed.
Edging toward the door with a horde of other royals she was heard to say, "I simply can't be arsed...I'll just git me hat.......!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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