Written by P.M. Wortham
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Tuesday, 24 May 2011

image for Iceland's Volcano is Proof of God Just Having a Smoke before Armageddon

Following the disappointing Misjudgment Day and associated backlash by followers who had offered their life savings to the cause, Reverend Camping, leader of the May 21st prediction fiasco, now says that the Iceland volcano eruption is proof that God is building up to Armageddon by enjoying a smoke before finishing the job.

"I know the first thing I do before going to work, is finish off one last cigarette before punching in", says Camping follower and licensed carpenter, Noah Hammer. "We've all talked about it, and we're confident that May 21st is just the start of the process. Tornados, floods, the Iceland volcano, you have to open your eyes to see the truth. We are all doomed".

"Sounds like he's fallen off the ladder one too many times", says National Weather Service Meteorologist, Claudio Vernyte. "These are tragic events to be sure, but have happened every year, for thousands of years". Vernyte paused, and then added, "Except for that mini ice age thing, that was real. I've got my boots and parka packed away just in case that little fiasco happens again."

Not dissuade by non-believers or their glib comments, Camping continues to raise money to propagate the message, to whoever will listen. Even the explanation for the missed prediction keeps changing, in an attempt to reform their position. Following a recent church service led by Camping, Hammer offered an enhanced explanation. "We've studied the situation further, and learned that the ash coming from Iceland's volcano is heavier with a different consistency that the last eruption. That means that God has clearly changed his brand, stocked up on some new smokes, and is getting ready for action".

In a related story, Noah Hammer's wife Anita, has filed for divorce citing Adultery as grounds for the action. She was heard to comment, "Noah's Little Hammer, and I do mean little, has been spending far too much time out of the toolbox".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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