Written by wadenelson
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Topics: China, Fashion

Thursday, 3 November 2005

image for Chinese Develop Boobs
Whoa! Where'd she get those!

Shanghai -- Believed by most Westerners to be capable only of producing cheap plastic crap sold at Wal-Mart stores, China today shocked the fashion world by sending down the runway a Chinese model equipped with boobs. Sukon Dees, a professional Chinese model, appeared wearing a "naughty schoolgirl" plaid skirt and form-fitting sleeveless top which highlighted her development. Westerner photographers, accustomed to "flat as a 10-year old" Chinese women all grabbed for their cameras.

According to Li Ming, "China can no longer be considered a developing country. Or underdeveloped. As one can clearly see by looking at our model, we have accomplished significant development in areas important to fashion. Forget "heroin thin." Any model can starve themselves to death. But for a Chinese girl to sport a pair of hooters like those, now THAT's an accomplishment. You won't see any more training bra's being sold in THIS country."

Developing nations around the world are looking to China for herbal secrets of mammary enhancement, disavoing the Western tradition of silicone augmentation. But no word was available on how Sukon Dees achieved her massive accomplishments. Unlike, say, Tyra Banks, Dees has not volunteered for an on-camera sonogram to certify her "hooter authenticity."

Meanwhile, the photo of Sukon Dees with her delicious features and radio dials has rocketed to the #3 "Most popular news photo" on Yahoo! news images. "You really can't attribute that to what she's wearing, said one Yahoo! news editor. It's really what her clothes are revealing that's of interest to the 12-24 year old group who are clicking on the photo.

With Chinese exports destroying the dollar and creating a trade imbalance of more than $170 B per year, exports of "Chinese brides" may take off once Westerners realize that American girls no longer have a stranglehold on pendulous, bouncing breasts. After all, China now has a decent space program, unlike the disaster known as NASA, and if we can put a man on the moon, they should certainly be able to make their women more titillating.

Requests for a "private interview" with Sukon Dees by this reporter were repeatedly turned down, although some "dressing room images" were provided to confirm there was no "wardrobe malfunction or padding in her outfit." The all-natural "au-natural" photos are available to Spoof readers who send an emailed request.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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