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Friday, 20 May 2011

image for Google In Hot Water Over Secret Application Hidden In Its Popular Street View Programme
No hiding place. The Earth seen here in a very much scaled-down format.

Multinational giant, Google, is once more coming under fire today and stands accused of making it easy for burglars to rob peoples' homes, after reports of a rogue widget running amok in its already controversial 'Street View' programme.

In a leaked internal email to somebody within Google, somebody else within Google wrote: "Don't tell anyone about the 'key kept under the dustbins' special bit of gubbins. Especially not the press. OK, got it? Schtum! 'Nuff said."

This communication is widely believed to refer to a hidden application that was written into the programme by accident, when camera cars snapped people secreting keys under dustbins and door mats. In a worrying development Google's omnipotent big computer refused to let boffins remove it from the coding and so it's in there for good.

Human Rights Campaigner Nigel Brown comments: "This is nothing less than an Orwellian nightmare and a criminals' charter if you ask me. Felons who know about this will simply wait outside properties equipped with smartphones until homeowners go out. Next they'll open Street View before walking up the path and letting themselves in, as bold as brass, then swiping everything that isn't nailed down."

Dougal McDougal from Google made this statement. "This is a load of nonsense. There is no such coding concealed within Street View and we believe that the rumour started on social networking site Twitter. Let me take this opportunity to assure the world that our application is completely safe and free from all risk. Although perhaps just as a precaution, I would suggest that if you do hide a key under the bins or doormat then stop doing so immediately."

Neighbourhood Watch Groups are holding their collective breath and residents in the suburbs may expect to see even more net curtain twitching than usual in the coming weeks and months.

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