An ever magnanimous Barrack Obama, standing before a total of six (6) US Flags, and an enlarged copy of his 'birth certificate, in case anyone forgot he was a NATURAL BORN PATRIOT, delivered a major policy speech pledging millions of untold, and unfunded taxpayer dollars to the 'beleaguered' countries of Egypt and Tunisia.
The largesse includes forgiven loans, loan guarantees from the World Bank, tons of wheat,
vouchers for 'Happy Meals' and 'cash' delivered by couriers in paper bags to rival the give aways already going on in Afghanistan and Pakistan.
Treasury secretary Tim 'the tool' Geithner said the printing presses were already working overtime, but he was sure workers would be willing to give up MLK day, St. Patrick's Day,
Michael Vick Day, Christmas, Easter, and Patriot's day holiday to make sure the dough kept rolling, although Ramadan was was not negotiable, but Hanukkah was 'definitely dead meat,' according to Valerie Jarrett, the President's 'very close' personal confidant.
As an addendum Obama said Israel would be 'forced' to retract it's borders to 1967 levels, giving back land it had taken during the war when it was attacked on several sides by
countries attempting to wipe it off the face of the earth.
"Well, there goes the Jewish vote, " said Barbra Streisand, a former Obama supporter, who said she was now sorry she dumped Hillary in the 2008 run up to the Presidential Election.
"Schwartzes....who knew?" she said at a "Impeach Obama' fund raiser on the beach at Big Sur.
Barney Frank,(D, Gay, MA) is said to now be reconsidering yet another run for election fearing that his mostly Jewish constituency will blame him for the President's obvious distaste for Israel, which may or may not mirror that of Jesse Jackson Sr., and his long time Chicago Pastor Reverend Wright.
"And I voted for affirmative action, too," said a disconsolate Frank as he contemplated a life and reduced streamlined diet with out ' pork."
Larry King said Obama reminds him more and more of Henny Youngman, the British born comedian who was famous for his one liners:
"Obama asked me, "Give me $10 till payday." I asked, "When's payday?" He said, "I don't know, you're the one who is working!"
Officials in Egypt and Tunisia are said to be 'jumping the couch' with the news as they look with envy at the enhanced financial statement of Afghanistan's Hamid Karzai.
Since Karzai headed up the war torn tribal country his restaurant franchise there and in the US has more than tripled, he has a lock on the cement industry, and the only Toyota Pickup truck (read motorized machine gun/rocket mount) distributorship in the area, not to mention his brothers who hold a lock on the local bank and control the biggest illegal pharmaceutical producing company grossing more than Merck or Pfizer and not subject to Capital Gains tax.
There were no questions taken after the Fatwa, with White House Press Secretary Jay Corny (sic), saying the President was going to fast overnight and pray, before jetting off to Europe to meet with Angela Merkel and discuss what they were going to do about the IMF and the
Frog with the 'rampant penis' problem.