Written by Hydrogen Balloon
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Thursday, 19 May 2011

image for There Are No Black Holes In Outer Space Says Pope
Delusional Dr. Hawking

Vatican City - Pope Benedict XVI has declared that there are no black holes in Outer Space, and that most of modern physics is 'bullshit'. The pope has also stated the story of the Big Bang is a 'fairy tale invented by fairies.'

The frank words from the pontiff come on the heels of some remarks by scientist Stephen Hawking. The wheel-chaired bound physicist recently proclaimed that Heaven was a 'fairy-tale'.

"I think it's just ridiculous that a grown man would scribble equations on a blackboard that no one can understand. A five-year old can do the same thing. Get a life." said the tough-talking pontiff.

Pope Benedict says he feels sorry for Stephen Hawking, and recommended he seek professional help for his delusions. The pope will also hold a special Mass next week, to pray for the souls of all non-believers.

The pope ended his tirade by giving the Nobel Prize winning physicist some final advice:

"No one has ever seen a black hole. No one has ever heard the Big Bang. Prove it, or shut-up."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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