New York, NY-- Mr. Dominique Strauss-Kahn has told his lawyer that he is going on a hunger strike because the jail food in America is 'barbaric and inedible for a Frenchman'. The head of the IMF has been accused of raping a hotel maid, and could receive a long sentence. The banker has many complaints about the food and says he'd rather starve to death then 'eat like a peasant.'
"They served me escargot à la Bourguignone (snails in sauce) the first night of my arrest, and I vomited with disgust!" said Mr. Strauss-Kahn. "The kitchen used margarine instead of butter! How insulting!" he shouted.
"The following day they tried to serve me foie gras truffé (goose liver with mushrooms). It was obvious the truffles were from Normandy--how crude!" he said.
"I cried for hours about the disgrace of it all!" he wept.
"Finally, the jailers tried serving me les cuisses de grenouilles (fried frog legs). They fried the legs with a non-stick pan instead of a cast-iron pan! I will sue them for torture!" he swore.
Mr. Strauss-Kahn is appealing to the United Nations to help him.
"This torture must stop! No one deserves to be fed such filth!"