Madrid - "Actually, the neck's a lot less chunky than Demi's," Fortuna nightclub revellers commented today, "and that sculpted backside could be Justin Beiber's!
"Any chance Pippa is Demi Moore's secret little brat?"
Pictures this weekend of Ms Middleton strutting around Madrid shopping malls have drawn the inevitable comparison with the 49 year-old US movie star famous for films like Toast (1990), Too Few Good Men (1992), Indecent Disclosure (1994) and The Lunchpack of Notre Dame (1996).
As best supporting actress at Westmonster Abbey's royal nuptials last month Pippa's homely (facial) chubby-cheeks were likened to simian-featured Labour Party leader Ed Milliband.
The politician's own backside is notorious in the rump parliament for its pinkyness and perkiness, although proportion-wise it must be at least thrice as bulky as the luscious Ms M's.
Meanwhile back in cyberspace someone has posted on Farcebook's Pippa Fan Club page anagrams for 'Pippa Middleton's Arse'.
Rearrangements are said to include 'personalised damp pit', 'mad, oppressed reptilian', 'polite rapid dampness' and 'appals spirited demon'.
Ashton Kurcher is 69.