Written by Court Jester
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Saturday, 14 May 2011

image for Pakistan No Longer Blue
Open air concert image.

Max Clifford has been called in to change Pakistan's global image. Clifford has been summoned following recent unrest due to the OBL debacle. The U.S claimed to have captured OBL in a house in Abbottabad and inadvertently killed him and dropped him off to sea. Clifford's first action has been to lodge a complaint with the U.S Senate requesting records be amended, insisting that the incident in fact took place in Clacton-on-Sea, Essex.

Clifford has adopted an aggressive strategy since taking up his new role to turn around the way other nations view Pakistan. An open air concert was arranged with the singing sensation that is pop group Blue as the star attraction. Due to the inevitable threat to their lives whenever performing Clifford's security manager enforced relevant safety measures. The group performed the show under the pseudonym Cyan. Clifford has rejected claims that this was a ploy to dupe music fans in to purchasing tickets to the event.

The Spoof managed to interview concert goer Ahmed and when asked about the experience he said: "I have not witnessed such disregard for the sanctity of the human state of mind since my family and I fled the Russians invading my native Afghanistan."

The musical extravaganza has met with fierce criticism from some quarters of the Pakistani government. A source within said: "Al Quida was bad and that business with Osama Bin Laden in Abbottabad didn't cover our nation in any glory, but this incident could have us brought up on charges for violating human rights."

The Pakistan government have since requested the UN to place an embargo on the UK exporting defective music. Eurovision organisers have seconded the motion.

Clifford is believed to have escaped by boat to Singapore where he understands a two-bob hooker has just lost a bob. Clifford is now in search of that bob.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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