Written by Cornelius P Lynch
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Saturday, 14 May 2011

image for Greece To Join The Pound
Apparently the Greeks were once fond of wandering around half naked

Greece will leave the Euro and join the pound. The news was confirmed last night by Prime Minister Davos Cameron and the Chancellor Georgios Osbourne. Monetary union with Greece is not an official coalition policy, but nobody really cares about those yellow guys anymore.
With the Greek economy in crisis and public spending cuts many Greeks already believe that their economy is being run by Osbourne. Now it really will be. In Athens there were demonstrations against the proposals. An effigy of Osbourne was burned and Greeks chanted anti-British slogans.

In Westminster Davos Cameron announced the Government's proposals whilst looking smug and self-satisfied. "Monetary union with Greece is just the first step. We expect Spain, Portugal, Ireland and Iceland to join the pound before the end of the year. The Euro is dead. Long live the Pound!" Following the Prime Minister's announcement Milliband Minor rose and spoke. "This is just blatant oportunism from the Government. The Prime Minister is clearly seeking another cheap holiday. What does he intend to do to help Feta cheese makers? What about the Olive mountain?". Nick Clegg then rose and the House emptied at once.

Economic and monetary union with Greece is likely to be a vote winner. It strengthens the pound, places the UK in a strong position internationally and, most importantly, upsets the French. At a time when Parliamentary Sovereignty is being questioned banknotes showing the Queen's head will be circulating in Europe.

However, it is unlikely to be one-way traffic. Milliband Minor's comments about Feta cheese and olives could prove to be prophetic. Cheddar and Stilton will be taken off the shelves and replaced by Feta. Cricket bats will now be lovingly cared for by rubbing them in olive oil rather than linseed. Some fear that the traditional British way of life is about to drowned in a sea of Ouzo. The British National Party is desperately trying to reinvigorate itself with an anti-Greek campaign. As Nick Griffin put it "Timeo Danaos et donna ferentes"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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