Written by Monkey Woods
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Topics: Food, Hair

Monday, 23 May 2011

image for Passenger Finds Hair In His Dinner, But Doesn't Know Whether It Came From A Penis, Vagina Or, Of Course, A Beard!
Hostess asks passenger if he wants the Chicken Omelette or the Habiba al-Shaqran

A passenger on a flight from Dubai to Birmingham has told how he found a hair in his dinner, but didn't know whether its origin was a penis, a vagina or, more likely, a beard.

Moys Kenwood, who has an inherent fear of beards, especially those on the chins of women, found the hair as he tucked into his Chicken Omelette, an Emirates speciality that is served for breakfast.

He told us: "I sliced into the fluffy-textured egginess, only to discover a great, big springy pube sticking out of it. Even in the half-light, it was readily visible, and I ventured no further into the meal."

Kenwood then summoned a member of staff, who carefully removed the enormous hair with a pair of tweezers.

He was told it was "harmless", and that it had probably got into the omelette 'at the cooking stage'. Said Kenwood:

"Food preparation is all-important, and the onboard meals are usually pretty good, even if, as they seem to be, that they are prepared by naked cooks. This, however, will make me think again about travelling with Emirates, especially if they don't give me a healthy discount on my next ticket."

Mr Kenwood was subsequently given another meal, an Arab delicacy called Habiba al-Shaqran, a tasty beef dish served with pubic hair.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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