Written by Duff
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Friday, 13 May 2011

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It's all on here! Oh yes! I should coco.

In what is quite frankly a blatant attempt to get his name higher up the writers' chart of the online satirical 'newspaper' The Spoof, contributor, Duff, has penned this points-grabbing article complete with headline to match.

Speaking from his dilapidated houseboat near Esher, the shame-faced scribe commented,

"And now having sucked you all in I'm at a bit of a loss as what to fill the remainder of the piece with. I have nothing at all to write that has the remotest connection with the rather lurid headline above, so if I'm being honest then I'm a bit stuck now.

*Sucks air through teeth*

Oh what about this then. I was in my local town today and there are now two branches of Nandos. Amazing, eh?

*Pom pom-pom-pom-pom* *Looks at watch* *Hmmm*

Here's a good one. There's this Englishman, a Scotsman, a Welshman and an Irishman and...But no I can't tell it. It's not the sort of thing that is worthy of a cutting edge satirical site.

*Looks at watch again* *Dum dum tee-dum. Dum tee-dum-dum*

Right, I reckon that's stretched it out enough. I think I'll post this now and wait for my points total to soar."

Fellow Spoof contributors can only watch and see what happens to Duff's chart position off the back of this rather cynical move. One longtime contributor who didn't wish to be identified said, "It's a cheap trick by Duff and only time will tell whether his audacious gambit has paid off."

Make Duff's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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