Written by queen mudder
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Thursday, 12 May 2011

image for 'Love, Honour and Fellate, Kate!' as Friday-the-13th tsunami fears hit Fregate honeymoon isle
Oh, the karmic perils of neglecting matrimonial blowjobs!

Say-Shells - A cliched twist on the old 'Did the earth move for you, darlin?' is rattling the newlyweds, a tremor-watch conspiracy site said today.

The royal pair's Seychelles honeymoon isle 'could see a massive tidal surge this weekend' TinFoilHattersAnonymous.con has reported.

The warning follows amateur seismologist Raffaele Bendandi's 11 May 2011 vision of Rome's obliteration - 'out only by 600 miles as-the-crow-flies' according to quake-shattered residents of Lorca, Spain.

Now a new hunch by the Italian psuedoscientist is backed by the website and by his Iranian great-great grandson Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi.

The Armageddon-peddling cleric is on record blaming women's orgasms for earth tremors which he says stem from fraudulent marriage vows.

Last year he almost succeeded in evacuating Tehran's 12 million-strong population after putting the frighteners up President Ahmadinejad.

Odds of Fregate being hit by a ring-of-fire tremor have tumbled to 10/1 online bookies Aintgottaprayer.con said today.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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