Written by Jeff Brone
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Wednesday, 11 May 2011

Pakistani intelligence offered their most forthcoming explanation yet for why Osama Bin Laden lived freely for years in their country.

A spokesman stated that Bin Laden had at least two of those "Beer Inspector" hats and wore them whenever he went out.

The spokesman asked "Who would expect a terrorist to wear one of those?"

He explained that Bin Laden had many hats, including a chef's hat, a fedora, and one of those Sherlock Holmes type caps, about which the intelligence official stated:

"I don't know what they're called, but it sure fooled us.

"I'm a bit ashamed to admit it, but after all he was an evil genius. Even when he was carrying around all those guns and monkey bars that those guys use for training, we just figured he was a chef who was also a gun and exercise enthusiast."

The chef's hat seemed to be particularly effective as there was a "Falafel and Waffle" restaurant nearby and Pakistani intelligence agents assumed Bin Laden simply worked there. Bin Laden also had a hat that made him kind of look like a rabbi.

The spokesman said "Bin Laden looking like a rabbi? That was the "old switcheroole" as the westerners say. He was a master of deception. Praise Allah. I mean that in a good way, of course."

Pakistani officials now say they will pursue more in depth training for their intelligence agents, with special focus on hats and their use in the field. The spokesman added "There's lots of people in Pakistan who wear hats. I suppose they could be terrorists. We'll be on our guard from now on, you can bet on that!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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