Written by Don Fulsom
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Sunday, 8 May 2011

As new details emerged on the final days of Osama bin Laden, it has been learned that the terrorist leader's favorite TV channel was Sony's PlayStation Network, until it crashed in a recent security breach.

Informed sources say the theft by hackers of some of Osama's personal data in the PlayStation crash may have helped the CIA discover his whereabouts.

Other new details: Before being killed by U.S. Navy Seals in his swank secret fortress, Osama yelled at the armed intruders, "I'm not me!" Then, informants say, Osama cried like a baby, begged for a second chance, and then soiled his diapers and robes.

Before shooting Osama, the Seals agreed to let him have one last toke of opium, and one final sexual fling with Wife No 4, the youngest and cutest of the 15 wives he's had in recent decades … and the one who had been shielding him. The Seals were just joking, it seems: Next, they pulled their triggers while shouting at the mass murderer, "We lied! Good riddance!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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